tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post7134740347451415490..comments2023-09-23T03:23:06.597-06:00Comments on Banku, Pho and Fried Spiders: Greed and DesperationA. Gillispiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05867049082571384585noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-84169759458474837742008-11-26T07:55:00.000-06:002008-11-26T07:55:00.000-06:00What an eye-opening story. Thank you so much for s...What an eye-opening story. Thank you so much for sharing. I will pray about this situation.<BR/><BR/>MelissaMama Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731917736362150072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-18880532344089690202008-07-10T07:20:00.000-06:002008-07-10T07:20:00.000-06:00Anita,I hope that you find the book helpful. I th...Anita,<BR/>I hope that you find the book helpful. I think you are right about it possibly helping families navigate open adoption relationships. I hadn't thought about it for this context but it makes perfect sense. OK- I just bumped it to the top of my Amazon priority list. <BR/>I added a link to your blog from my blog. <BR/>RebeccaRebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08589987416662662981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-31803488532058590482008-07-09T14:33:00.000-06:002008-07-09T14:33:00.000-06:00Rebecca,Thank you so much for the book recommendat...Rebecca,<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for the book recommendation! I went right to Amazon and ordered it. It looks like exactly the sort of book that will address these types of issues. I think I will also do a blog post sharing about the book so that those who don't make it to the comment section will know about this resource. I think it would be important not only for humanitarians and such, but also for families that have open international adoptions and have to weight the pros and cons of supporting birth family in any way.<BR/>AnitaA. Gillispiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05867049082571384585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-41215706519211650282008-07-09T11:21:00.000-06:002008-07-09T11:21:00.000-06:00Hi Anita,Thanks for posting this. I have thought ...Hi Anita,<BR/>Thanks for posting this. I have thought about ordering African Friends and Money Matters but I haven't yet. You may already have it but here is the link on Amazon.<BR/>http://www.amazon.com/African-Friends-Money-Matters-Observations/dp/1556711174<BR/>Also, the book Blue Clay People about a NGO worker in Liberia talked about some of these same things. <BR/>Your blog is fantastic!! I'll be praying for you as you navigate these relationships. <BR/>RebeccaRebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08589987416662662981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-61644662560851605692008-07-09T09:21:00.000-06:002008-07-09T09:21:00.000-06:00flacius1551,You and I agree more than we disagree!...flacius1551,<BR/><BR/>You and I agree more than we disagree!! My post is asking QUESTIONS, and I appreciate your point of view. I would love to know what your life experience as been and more where you are coming from. Are you from Africa? Or do you have experience in developing countries? Your writing seems as though you speak from experience, which I appreciate.<BR/><BR/>You answer my question as YES--there is something in the psyche of some of those in the developing world that makes them continue to have a survivalist lifestyle even after they have acheived "success" by world standards. I appreciate your answer, and I tend to agree (from what I have experienced so far in Ghana).<BR/><BR/>I do believe that there are those that would not take advantage of an already good situation in order to further their personal wealth. Maybe that is because they are too scared to lose the good situation they are in? I don't know. I know that fear-based motivation works well, even though it is a sad way to motivate people.<BR/><BR/>I don't pretend to think that I could ever change Ghana as a country, or the developing world. My only influence is over my staff in Ghana. And I'm sure that if that surivalist mentaility is there, it is there--regardless of what I say or do. You are right in that my only influence is within the walls of our children's home. In that place, if they take advantage of what is already a good situation for them, they will be fired. I really do love my staff, and each woman as an individual, so I hope it never comes to that.<BR/><BR/>As a US adoption agency working in Ghana we are already breaking the laws of what is "normal" and "natural" in Ghana. We can't give gifts and dashs for work, or we would be breaking American ethical practices. And our staff are required in many ways to run the home as "American" as possible. It is a bit like fitting a square peg into a round hole.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your input. Very appreciated.<BR/>AnitaA. Gillispiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05867049082571384585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-88698384847973620982008-07-09T08:06:00.000-06:002008-07-09T08:06:00.000-06:00And why should they feel grateful? I ask you again...And why should they feel grateful? I ask you again. Why should they not take advantage of their situation?<BR/><BR/>Consider the possibility that the fact that you do not steal has something to do with the context in which you live, in which you know that you can get what you really need without doing so, and that those opportunities will always be open to you one way or another. As opposed to the situation of people who have always lived in poverty, and then one day their situation improves. But what guarantee are you giving them? Are you going to employ them forever? And what happens if they have to stop working for you? Then they will be back in the same situation they were in before. It only make sense that they would try to enrich themselves as a means of dealing with an unstable society and an uncertain future, or in order to help out friends and neighbors. They are only acting rationally. You are applying your rather moralitstic worldview to a situation in which, for very obvious reasons, it doesn't apply. In the end, you may get the employees in your orphanage to stop behaving a certain way--but unless you are a lot more powerful than I suspect, you will not succeed in changing the entire world and context in which they live, which informs their actions in an entirely sensible way.flacius1551https://www.blogger.com/profile/09957435129893987041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-83418611548099583462008-07-09T06:57:00.000-06:002008-07-09T06:57:00.000-06:00flacius1551,I think you misunderstood--or I didn't...flacius1551,<BR/><BR/>I think you misunderstood--or I didn't write clearly. I don't expect anybody to be "grateful" to Americans for helping. I am talking about an internal feeling--a knowledge that your life is a good life. Yes, Americans always want more. That is human nature I absolutely agree. But there is something in most Americans that keeps us from TAKING more. I would never TAKE. I would never STEAL from one of my friends or employer. There is something in my psyche (and the psyche of most Americans) that would prevent me from doing that.<BR/><BR/>What I'm asking on my blog (theorhetically) is if that is missing in the psyche of those who have lived in despseration for a lot of their lives. These are GOOD CHRISTIAN women that work for me at Eban House. They are not common theives. I love them. And they are genuinely good people. But what is missing that would allow at least a handful of them to take that step that we Americans don't allow ourselves to make? Stealing, or outright asking for more? That is my question. I don't think there is any answer.<BR/><BR/>Yes, as a human I always want more, but as a Christian I try to squeltch that feeling. As a human/Christian I know that I have a BLESSED life even though many in America have more than I do. I do recognize the blessings I have. But sometimes it seems that those in developing countries that have had so few material blessings in their lives, once they have them, fail to recongize that. They fail to feel gratefullness--not to ME or the white man--but to whatever higher power they believe in.<BR/>AnitaA. Gillispiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05867049082571384585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-50199008583374710362008-07-09T06:54:00.000-06:002008-07-09T06:54:00.000-06:00Anita,This post completely opened my eyes. Greed i...Anita,<BR/>This post completely opened my eyes. Greed is something that everyone is guilty of, but being in America, and only exposed to the American way, I always think the greed is centralized here. But I suppose greed is human nature and exists everywhere.<BR/><BR/>I am praying for you and for the volunteers. This is a difficult and sensitive issue to deal with. My thoughts are with you. <BR/>Teri<BR/>Oh btw...we are sending in our application today! Finally!TDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14321833617249608016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-25966515159649293392008-07-09T06:18:00.000-06:002008-07-09T06:18:00.000-06:00As always Anita, powerful post.My heart is heavy f...As always Anita, powerful post.<BR/>My heart is heavy for the volunteer and yours struggling with this issue.<BR/>Thank you for the post, you continually open our eyes to important issues.<BR/>Hugs.Erickahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03870497728625144863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-2390605854161799442008-07-09T06:12:00.000-06:002008-07-09T06:12:00.000-06:00Do you, in your life, ever stop wanting more? I me...Do you, in your life, ever stop wanting more? I mean, seriously, how many Americans think they have "enough"? Don't most people want a larger house, a second car, long vacations, etc., etc.? So how are Ghanaians any different? And why would you expect that they would be "grateful" for help that brings them up to the level of a tenth of what every American thinks of as his birthright just for existing? <BR/><BR/>The point of charity is not for the recipient to feel grateful. The point of charity is how it affects and changes the giver.flacius1551https://www.blogger.com/profile/09957435129893987041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-55555174203175436012008-07-08T23:55:00.000-06:002008-07-08T23:55:00.000-06:00I certainly know how you are feeling.... I too hav...I certainly know how you are feeling.... I too have seen/lived it. My cell phone rings a few times a month with 'requests' from Ghana.<BR/><BR/>I am sure there is soooo much to it!<BR/><BR/>Money or lack of it can sure toy with a person's psyche, much like the way food (or lack of it) does.<BR/>Growing up with a sense that you are always in survival mode, actually changes the way the brain develops, and individuals can remain in that survival way of thinking.<BR/><BR/>I'll tell you what though -It really is a special blessing when you find genuine, giving, loving people who grew up without plenty. And all things considered, there really are many of them in Ghana! (Sometimes it takes 'training' and experience to be able to sift through the flattery (among other things) to determine who is actually genuine)<BR/><BR/>Praying that you find the best approach to the problem (and let me know if you do!)<BR/><BR/>K :)Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08691690252536570166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-14778422221276464892008-07-08T23:23:00.000-06:002008-07-08T23:23:00.000-06:00I'm sorry you're dealing with such heavy issues at...I'm sorry you're dealing with such heavy issues at work right now. I know how disappointed you must be in some of the staff at Eban and my heart is hurting for you. <BR/><BR/>As far as the greed, I have to think that part of that is human nature. I know there have been times in my life when I've been jealous of friends that seemed to have an easier time of things, and for the most part, I think I have a very blessed life. <BR/><BR/>Maybe part of the problem is that many of the women haven't been around Americans and American affluence, and it's hard for them to feel satisfied with their own lives when they see families come in with cameras and toys and clothes, and then they go out to eat every day, and stay in nice fancy hotels that staff can't afford even with a month's salary. <BR/>We come in and unintentionally flaunt our weath and affluence. <BR/><BR/>Anyway. . . I know a discussion probably isn't what you need right now, so big hugs coming your way.<BR/><BR/>Love and prayers, <BR/><BR/>Heather A.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272756526474014493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23254997.post-15219762313417792872008-07-08T23:01:00.000-06:002008-07-08T23:01:00.000-06:00WOW! That was powerful Anita! ChaleneWOW! That was powerful Anita! <BR/>ChaleneChalenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13397915957689062913noreply@blogger.com