Banku, Pho, and Fried Spiders!

Not Ghana Go

2012-02-14T20:16:00.004-06:00

Well, my upcoming trip to Ghana has been canceled. The plan was for me to escort a child home, which would pay for my ticket. It was a LOT for a family to delay their child's homecoming for a month so that I could go to Ghana. For that reason I sort of kept saying, "Are you sure?" After the tickets were purchased I eased up and really felt like I was truly going to Ghana. It felt real. But sometimes things that seem too good to be true, are.

For very good and very understandable reasons, the family has decided that they want to travel to pick up their son. The decision has been made. My ticket has been canceled. I have no anger at all towards the family. It makes total sense. They are doing what is right for their family. It is RIGHT for their family. How could I ever be angry about that?

No anger. But sadness? Yeah. A lot of that. Goodness, I just want to sob. Well, if truth be told I have been crying, just no sobbing yet. [I'll save sobbing for later tonight.] I was getting so excited. Plans were falling into place. Meetings being set up. Celebrations to attend. A chance to teach a group of orphans about what adoption is. Re-organization of sponsorship program. Adoption program development. All that sort of fun stuff. It was coming together.

Blech. I need to get there. A few years ago when the economy was different this wasn't an issue. My agency just paid for me to go a few times a year. But things are different now. There is no extra money to send me--at least not right now. If I want to go, I need to figure out a way to get there.

I was JUST telling one of my friends in Ghana that the Lord always sort of whispers when it's time for me to go to Ghana. It's like this itch that won't go away. When the family initially told me I would be going to Ghana in March, I had a hard time believing it. Now, everything points to me NOT going to Ghana anytime soon, but I have a hard time believing it. I just know there's got to be a way for me to get there in the next few months. I look forward to seeing how the Lord will provide.

Love,

Anita

Pineapple--Itchy Teeth/Mouth???

2012-02-12T18:34:00.003-06:00

Last summer when I was in Ghana my friends and I were killing time and the subject of pineapple came up. I was telling my friends how much I LOVE Ghana's pineapples, and I could eat it all day! They were telling me that they like pineapple as well, except for the teeth itching. What? Huh? I thought it must be something lost in translation. We wasted a lot of time trying to figure out if we were losing something in translation. Fast forward to this afternoon.

Kendi and Bright were eating pineapple. Kendi looked over at me and in all seriousness says, "Mommy, this pineapple makes my mouth and my teeth itch!" At the same moment I look over and Bright is literally itching is tongue! LOL!

Hmm.... Is this a Ghanaian thing? Does pineapple make anybody else out there have an itchy mouth (Ghanaian or not)? I'm curious now!

Anita

Results are In!

2012-02-09T20:45:00.002-06:00

So, I just happened to be due for lab work at the end of 2011. You know...cholesterol and triglycerides and blood sugar, etc.. Then today I had to have the same blood work done for health insurance stuff at Eric's work. In two months of eating better (no crazy better mind you, just mildly better), I can see a difference in my numbers!

Cholesterol is down by 27 points!

Triglycerides are still stupid high, but they are down like 10 points. I'll take it!

Fasting blood sugar was down by 8.

Ideally it would be great if my body decided to lose some weight to go along with the healthier lifestyle. So far it's only shed 6 pounds. 6x10 would be good, but I'll take better lab work over a smaller dress size!

This is the day...

2012-02-06T20:56:00.003-06:00

Oh man, I feel like singing praise songs! What comes to mind is "This is the day (this is the day), that the Lord hath made (that the Lord hath made). I will rejoice (I will rejoice), and be glad in it (and be glad in it)!" Yeah, I should sing that song more when I'm having a horrible week, to remind myself that the Lord allows the bad with the good, but it's a happy song. What can I say?!

On this day I got to spend my time doing what I love doing. I spent a balanced amount of time emailing and talking on the phone with pre- or post- adoptive families. I even got to give news of a visa approval! I had enough down time to help my kids with school and not be a complete grouch to them. It was JUST. RIGHT.

Most important to my day was what I did NOT have to do! I didn't have to work while sick (like last week). I didn't have to give anybody bad news. I didn't have to think about fees or budget or numbers. I didn't have to spend time on stuff I dislike doing, getting behind on the stuff I do like doing! When I get up in the morning I won't be way behind and I only have good things to look forward to.

Yes! I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Anita

P.S. Oh, and did I mention I'm going to Ghana?! ;-) Tickets are purchaed! I'm leaving March 8th and returning March 22nd!

Topa-what?

2012-02-06T20:43:00.002-06:00

I'm trying a new medication for Fibromyalgia. Topamax. I happened upon an online conversation where people where talking about using it for Fibro (even though it's an anti-seizure medication typically prescribed to prevent migraines). Seems like folks either really love it or really hate it--no in between. It's the kind of medicine where you have to start on a low dose and step up gradually to the goal dosage.

It's hard not to get my hopes up about a medication that could help. I'm not HORRIBLE with my current regimen, but taking 12-15 pain pills a day, plus meds for insomnia, plus Fibro med, plus 4 others is not ideal in my mind. What if I could take this and drop some of those? What if this gave me pain-FREE days instead of just days with less pain?

I'm watching for side-effects right now. This drug has some interesting ones--some that I wouldn't mind getting! On the plus side, people sometimes lose a lot of weight on this med--like 50 pounds a lot of weight! Also, one of the possible side effects is "less sweating." Yeah, I could handle less sweating (since the Savella causes me to sweat like a pregnant fish)! [Thanks P for that saying.] On the downside, some people experience pretty major brain fog (can't recall words, stop mid-sentence). That's already an issue with Fibro so taking something that makes it worse wouldn't be too cool. It can also make leg pain worse.

I've been on the lowest dose for 4 days now. I think I might be experiencing the leg pain side-effect but I'm not sure yet because leg/hip/butt pain is one of my most common Fibro pains. It could be that I would be having a bad few days even without the med. The side-effects are said to usually go away after about 6 weeks, so I will try to be strong for that amount of time to be SURE whether this drug helps or not. And if I lose a few pounds and sweat less, all the better!

Six

2012-02-06T20:41:00.002-06:00

Six pounds down. What a lovely surprise. =-) Really trying to eat less processed and more whole foods (not that we're THAT good at it). I wish I could say it has helped with Fibro pain, but not so much. Still, I'm betting my triglycerides are going to go down!

Questions to Ask Your Adoption Provider

2012-02-05T17:07:00.002-06:00

I saw THIS post the other day and thought it was very good. THIS post is more specific for Uganda adoption, but most of the information would apply to Ghana as well. Be in the know! Put your adoption provider through the wringer before you choose them! Make sure they can answer your questions in a way that you feel comfortable. Make sure you know what red flags to look for!

Love,
Anita
P.S. If you do end up asking a ton of involved questions to your potential adoption provider, be sure to give them more than a few hours to respond to the questions! I've had emails take me 3 hours before--great questions, but they take time and thought to answer!

Kings that Forget Their Dreams

2012-02-04T13:02:00.002-06:00

I almost always enjoy Nana Kofi's blog posts (especially his photographs). I thought his most recent post was very thought-worthy. Maybe you will too.

Tomorrow, tomorrow...

2012-02-01T22:35:00.003-06:00

It's 10:35pm. About 1.5 hours ago I learned that I will be teaching preschool chior tomorrow at the kids' homeschool choir. Wowsers! If tomorrow was going to be a normal Thursday I would feel a bit more sure about things, but tomorrow isn't going to be so normal.

I was JUST telling Eric today, "It's a good thing I'm not teaching Music anymore because today is definitely a day I would have come home without a voice." Yeah...half of us are down with a yucky cold/sore throat thing.

When I get up tomorrow it will be time to pull out the old early childhood music books and come up with a 40 minute plan for thirteen 3-5 year olds. Can you sing Old McDonald? ;-) We'll be at or transporting to/from choir from 12:30 - 2:15.

The other event on the agenda tomorrow is that it's newsletter day. The newsletter for AAI is due by end of day tomorrow and (genius that I am) I will be starting it tomorrow. Procrastinate much? Just a bit! I'm not so quick at this, so this task usually takes 3-5 hours.

Let's throw in that I have to leave before end of business to go and pick up the hubster from work. And then there's basketball practice tomorrow. And grades to get into our supervising teacher for homeschool. And oh, don't forget that I haven't spent a lick of good quality time with my kids this week!

Yeah, tomorrow is going to be interesting! After the horrible, very bad, no good day that was Tuesday, tomorrow is just fine by me. Give me tomorrow over yesterday, any day!

Anita
P.S. I just laughed at myself because I misspelled "genius." Now you know it's true!

Made My Day!

2012-02-01T15:02:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was a terribly, no good, very bad day. No lie. I felt *SO* discouraged about things, and just....so.....tired. I can't go into detail, but let me just say that it is now very evident to me (if it wasn't already) that I am not at all meant to be a bookkeeper or accountant! I went to bed with a sad face on, and knowing that today would have to be better simply by default.

I woke up this morning with a lot to do and not enough time to do it. [No, I shouldn't be taking time to write this right now.] Someone has to make the donuts, right?

A few hours ago I got a call from my boss. Since I began working for AAI I have been considered a "contractor." I don't feel like a contractor. I'm not paid like a contractor (per case). I don't have a contractor adoption coordinating business. I feel like an employee. It's a little thing that has really weighed on me, and I've let that be known. Well, my boss called me today to let me know that as of March 1st, I will be an AAI employee!! That definitely put a smile on my face. I've put in 5 years to achieve that status. She said that was the "just good but not really good news." This change to employee status also means additional pay for my work. THAT was the really good news, she said. =-) The reason this is big to me is because it's a way of saying that I am a valued member of the team--it's not so much about the money.

A few weeks ago I posted about "Martha's Home." This little foster home had few resources and needed help to send the kids to school and give them an adequate diet. We put out the word, and within a day families stepped up to help meet that need. [It never grows old to see the generosity of families first-hand!]

Today the money was hand-delivered by one of our AAI adoptive families. I got a call from Martha SO EXCITED and SO THANKFUL for the funds to meet the kids' needs. A few minutes ago I received the following note (edited to protect privacy):

Hello Anita,

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Anita, I am very grateful to you for helping me give education to these kids. God bless you so much. In fact A and J were very happy when they saw S and a white friend from the USA, together with Mr. A. Everything went on successfully and tomorrow we will send them to school. The total amount was 700US$. We will start sending you photos of the kids at school very soon and all other details that you requested from us so that you could show them to your sponsors.

S was very friendly and we wish she was going to spend some more days here but unfortunately, she is leaving tomorrow. She gave bags, dresses, pencils and some books to the kids. all we can say is Thank you.

Much Love,
Martha.

There are times that I question my own motives. Am I doing this work because of money or status? Am I doing it to look like a good person? And then something like the above is sent from Ghana, and it strikes me that THAT is the big news of my day. I'm so exceptionally grateful for the changes the agency is making so that I feel valued. More than anything though, it's the opportunity to see a difference being made in the lives of orphaned and vulnerable children that keeps me going. I'm thankful that the Lord gave me the opportunity to learn that about myself today.

Love,

Anita

P.S. Two of the three children at Martha's Home still need educational sponsors at $35 a month and food sponsors at $50 per month! The funds given only secure school until the next session in April. Please email brooke@adoptionadvocates.org if you'd like to sponsor one of the kiddos!

So it's not the 20th, but I'm still going to Ghana!

2012-01-29T16:53:00.002-06:00

On January 19th I wrote on this blog that I am going to Ghana and I would share more "tomorrow." Oops. Thanks to an ultra-crazy week it's now 10 days later. Still, I'm going to Ghana!

Once or twice a year my "want" to go to Ghana turns into more of a "need" to go to Ghana. And for whatever reason, it seems that the Lord tends to send lots of people I need/want to meet to Ghana around the same time. March is that time this year. The stars have aligned and it looks like several folks I've wanted to meet in person for a while will be there at the same time! And it may be that I even get to be there on the grand opening of a long-awaiting orphanage in Eastern Region, Ghana!

When I asked my boss at AAI if I could start thinking about a trip, the answer was that she knew I needed to get over there, but financially it would be incredibly difficult to swing it right now. She asked me to exhaust all the resources I had to see if maybe I could get a buddy pass, or discount ticket, or??? I posted on our little AAI group asking if anybody had any resources they could pass on. One of our moms mentioned that if I escorted a child home it would pay for my ticket, but there were no needs needing escort anytime soon. Enter the Weber family!

I get a personal email from Becky asking if I would consider escorting their son Evans home. Let me tell you, all of "my" Ghana kids are precious and beautiful, but I'm human, and sometimes I connect with some kids more than others. I connect with Evans. He is humble, and smiley, and handsome. Plus, Evans is a "big kid" that is a 1 out of 10 on the "difficult to escort" meter! It will be totally fun to bring him home!

One problem. Evans is ready to come home now. His visa was issued Friday. What are the chances that a family is going to wait around for over a month just so I can go to Ghana when I need to, and escort their son home? Very small. Somehow though, Webers are that family! They've got obligations going on that actually make it better for Evans to come home a bit later--"as long as it's after March 20th." WHAT? That is EXACTLY when I wanted to travel!

I think another reason I've put off writing the details is I wanted to give Becky more time to change her mind. I wouldn't blame her if she wanted her son to come home more quickly. Who could?! But she assures me that I can stop asking "Are you sure?" and can share the details! They feel that the Lord has worked this out just as it should have been. There's a back-story to this that, in short, will help them with their next adoption. And obviously, this provides me with a chance to go to Ghana when I really needed to be there.

I'm so very thankful! I don't have an itinerary yet, but I'm thinking maybe March 9th - March 21st. Time to start calling the travel agencies!

Anita

Yarn Braids, Goodbye!

2012-01-29T16:33:00.003-06:00

We started with these braids in early December. Over the last week I've noticed that Kendi's roots were looking pretty raunchy, and some of the braids had pulled out a lot of the hair initially put in the section. Time for them to go.Kendi was NOT happy. We started by cutting the braids shorter.
These braids had really started to matte (sp?) into the yarn, so it took me 3 hours to get them out. NOT fun.This picture shows what was happening. A big chunk of hair detached and clumped together, with a small amount of hair actually left to hold the braid in.I never know how much hair is "normal" to lose. This is roughly what Kendi lost. A lot of it is the hair that would have naturally shed from her head but couldn't because of the yarn. But some of it is from the hair being pulled out (when I put it in pony tails or pulled it back in other ways). I put the kiddie scissors there for size perspective.

I had to really convince her to smile for this photo! It was almost midnight, she was tired, and she was still not happy to lose her braids!

In the end I don't think that we've lose much hair. It's a little thinner on the sides. It's weird seeing her today with her short hair again!

Puppy Love

2012-01-29T16:21:00.004-06:00

Our neighbor's dog has had puppies (again). Fourth litter in the last 2 years. [Yes, we have offered to have her spayed.] Oh my goodness, they are SO CUTE. I am such a push-over for a cute puppy. Last year Mac was from the same dog and he is an AWESOME and BEAUTIFUL big boy now! These pups are his brothers and sisters.

My birthday is coming up, as well as Valentine's day. In reality, I don't care to make a big deal about either of these days but I have hinted that a puppy would be nice. Maybe Mac needs a big playmate? =-) The other side of me says we don't need another dog, and whenever we have three dogs the stress level in the family goes up quite a bit (semi-big family, semi-small house, and flat-out small yard). Well, at least I can bring pups over to play for a bit until they get settled into their new homes. There are TEN of them! [Yes, I have my favorites.]

Lunch Break Musings....

2012-01-25T12:47:00.002-06:00

We've been trying lots of new-to-us foods in an effort to eat less processed foods and add more healthy foods into the rotation.

Flax Seed--Who knew? Love this stuff! I can add it into just about everything and get some extra omega-3, fiber, and protein in the mix. And, it's cheap!

Luna Bars--a former Ghana-only treat has now made it into the regular rotation as part of a quick lunch. Lemon Zest is my favorite, but Chocolate Coconut is a close 2nd.

Honeycrisp Apples--I am forever ruined for any other variety of apple. These are so crisp AND sweet. Perfect apple for me (the former Golden Delicious girl).''

Whole Wheat Spaghetti-- This was fine for me and the kids, but Eric could barely get it down. Guess it won't make it into rotation. I'll try other varieties of pasta and see if we get different results from Eric.

Almonds-- It's not new to me. I know everybody talks about getting a handful of almonds to get you through a hungry moment. But regular almonds aren't my thing. Thank goodness for cocoa-powder and Cinnamon coated almonds!

Lettuce and Leafy Greens-- We were iceberg people. Iceberg has very little nutritional value, although it DOES have "fill" value. Anyway, we tried "Spring Mix" and that was just a bit too much for most of us--all those different sorts of lettuces that "taste like leaves Mommy!" Romaine is actually comparable to "Spring Mix" nutrition-wise and we like that much better. However, the biggest win has been fresh spinach leaves. Not for me, but the little kids will get a huge bowl of spinach leaves and eat them up! YES!

Cucumber--3 out of 4 Gillispie kids approve.

Almond Butter-- YUMMO!

Sunflower Nut Butter--Not so much. However, Bright will eat it.

Coconut "Milk"-- Not a bad taste, but not a hit.

Almond Milk, CHOCOLATE flavor-- Everybody likes this. And when it was about half empty I filled the container back up using the Coconut milk. The kids were none the wiser and I think it tastes like a Mounds bar! LOL!

OTHER OBSERVANCES AS THE LUNCH BREAK COMES TO AN END....

The WAY too tight bra that I got a few months ago is now just "uncomfortable" and is currently on my body. =-)

2 pounds down.

Yesterday I went 3 hours longer than normal before I needed to take my next dose of pain pills for fibromyalgia!

Even though my fast is over, I still find that I'm craving water, drinking it almost exclusively during the day, with sometimes a Vitamin Water or diet caffeine free soda at night.

Eat crap=crave crap. Eat better=crave better foods.

Drink water=crave better foods. Drink soda-crave salty/greasy foods.

I will no longer eat after my body tells me I'm full. Might mean a bit of wasted food, but I'd rather have "waste" than "waist!"

Last night we filled up our cart at Aldi, with foods that all had small ingredient lists, for $100. I thought Aldi might be forever lost to us if we commited to eating less processed foods. =-)

Okay, the apple is gone. Back to work!
Anita

AAHHHH!!!!!!

2012-01-19T21:00:00.001-06:00

Big news! I'm going to Ghana!!! More details tomorrow, but it's all thanks to one amazing and sacrificial Ghana Mama!
Anita

Unique Opportunity

2012-01-16T21:43:00.003-06:00

A few years ago a mom in Ghana made the decision that she could no longer care for her child. She made an adoption plan, and that child was adopted by an amazing and loving family here in America. End of story, right? No. Beginning of story.

Since that child was adopted, the mom in Ghana has written to me off and on, sharing with me about her hopes and dreams. Believe me, this is not the norm! I've been burned a few times when people have shared their hopes and dreams and it turned out to be simply a way to scam money out of rich Americans. Because of that, I admit I didn't put a lot of faith in this mom's words.

She never gave up. Maybe she gave up on ME (and the agency I work for) supporting her, but she never gave up on what she wanted to do. She wanted to help other moms like her--moms that couldn't care for their children--to not ever have to make an adoption plan. She has prayed, and she has saved, and now she is caring for 3 children who may otherwise be on the streets or in other vulnerable care situations. She has committed to care for these children until such a time that their first families can come back for them. No cost to those families. She simply wants to make a place for these children and families to be loved.

After years, I am convinced. This mom has gone out and achieved her dream of helping the vulnerable, and she is doing it without the help of "rich" Americans. That doesn't mean that she can do it as well as she could with our help. She has a (simple) roof over their heads, and she loves them 24 hours a day. That is more than their families can currently give. But Mom Martha does not have the resources to put the kids in school, or even to provide the type of diet she knows the kids need. I am now convinced that Martha will be accountable for anything she receives to care for these children.

The three children have already been added to AAI's Sponsorship Program. One of the children has now been fully sponsored (yes!) but as far as I know the other two children still need educational sponsorship of $35 a month and food assistance of $50 a month. If you would like to sponsor one of these children (or both!) Brooke@adoptionadvocates.org can give you further information on how to get started! Families who sponsor these kids should have the opportunity to stay in touch by letters/emails/photos and I anticipate regular reports on their well-being.

There is a more acute need. RIGHT NOW is the beginning of the new school session in Ghana and Mom Martha doesn't have the ongoing support of sponsors RIGHT NOW. For this reason, I am hoping that we can raise $600. This will pay tuition and fees through April; will purchase needed uniforms, books, and supplies; and will provide the kids a nutritious diet for the coming month. As of 10pm tonight we have raised $80 (for which I am very thankful). There is no donation too small. Every penny will go directly to these children, and every donation is tax-deductible.

I know it's January and sometimes folks have "giving-fatigue" in January. It's a notoriously low month for non-profits. I get it. But if you feel led to donate a bit to help these kids get in school sooner rather than later (April), you can click HERE. Designate the donation towards "Ghana" and then note "Martha's Home."

Why did I title this blog "Unique Opportunity?" Well, how many times do we have an opportunity to give to a situation like this? How many times are we able to directly give back to a "birth mom?" How many times do we see a birth mom not only turn her life around, but also then give that life back to children and families who are now in the same position she ones found herself to be in? Not many! I can't think of a more poignant success story, can you?

[Click HERE if you'd like to see photos of Mom Martha and the children.]

Love,

Anita

P.S. Martha's Home is not a foster home focused on adoption, but rather family reunification.

Faux-Hawk

2012-01-15T16:01:00.003-06:00

We were watching a show where someone had a mo-hawk. Kendi told me SHE wanted a mo-hawk.Five little bands and five little bantu knots later, we have what I think passes as a pretty decent faux-hawk!Her yarn braids have been in for about a month now, and not a one has shown signs of falling out. It's SUCH a big difference from the first time I put them in. The only thing is that her hair (her real hair) is looking DIRTY! Not sure how to tackle that since it's only the first 1/2 inch from her scalp to the yarn braid. Thoughts for experienced mamas?

To be a child again...

2012-01-15T15:55:00.002-06:00

The little ones had been playing outside for quite some time. It was TOO quiet, so I went out to see what trouble they had gotten themselves in to. Hmm...they were nowhere to be found. Then I heard some mumbles coming from somewhere. I followed the sounds of those little voices.Surprise! They were both in the doghouse WITH the dog, just playing away! They stayed in there for over an hour. Some people buy fancy playground equipment to put in their back yard. P-sha! I say, give 'em dirt, an old stroller, a horse trough, and a broken down 'ol dog house and tell them to go to town!

Proof that it IS Winter!

2012-01-15T15:49:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago Samren said, "Mom, when is it going to be winter?" I told him that it IS winter, since December 21st. I don't think he quite believed me, since we've had NO snow or ice, and very few days even as cool as the 40's!

Well, Wednesday night the Lord blessed us with just a taste of winter! When we left for Church it was in the mid-50's but by the time we packed the crew up to head home it was blowing snow! Big beautiful flakes and strong north winds. Before heading to bed I took the above photo, just as proof that we got the little taste of winter! The next day it all melted away and as I write this we are all sitting her with the back door open, letting the fresh air in. =-)

Love,

Anita

Taevy's First Photo Contest

2012-01-14T21:34:00.003-06:00

Taevy entered her very first photography contest today. She has such a love of photography that I think this could be the first of many. =-) This is for the Tulsa Garden Center and all photos must be garden-themed. The 1st photo was taken 2 days ago in our back yard. The 2nd photo was taken last September at the Tulsa Zoo. The 3rd photo was taken at the Tulsa Garden Center last May. Taevy would like me to ask you, dear blog readers, which photo you like best?

Standing in Awe...

2012-01-12T22:30:00.003-06:00

It never gets old watching God work! If you're in the Ghana adoption community this probably isn't news to you, but I just feel like I need to SHOUT in praise of Him who makes all things possible!

Ghana Adoption has been experiencing a bought of "constipation" once again--in most areas of the process. Court, no movement. I-600 approvals, one particular family waiting an insanely long time for news. Communication with the embassy, incredibly slow and frustrating. Visa print dates, six weeks out. Frustration at all levels.

I'm a member of a Ghana adoption FB group and one member suggested that we put all of that frustration into positive thoughts and prayer. That turned into an invitation to grab an hour and commit to pray around the clock for BREAKTHROUGH in ever facet of the process. I think we've been praying as a community for a few days now.

In that small amount of time we have seen God truly answer prayers that have been ongoing for MONTHS! The embassy has responded to emails within a few days rather than a few (or more) weeks. Visas that were set to be printed in mid-February are instead being printed this week. And (most amazingly to me) the family who had been waiting for over 100 days for I-600 approval got approval today! Oh, and just for kicks the Lord decided to give that family's best friends (who is also adopting) I-600 approval today as well! Truly, He is showing His hand in a big way right now. As a believer I am quick to see God in everything, but I imagine even if I were an non-believer I would have to do a double-take at all that has happened in the past few days. Really, could it be just happenstance? My heart shouts NO!

Prayers are for continued progress in all of these areas, but there is now a great anticipation to see what the Lord will do for those who have been waiting long days for news of court, and those children who have been waiting many months in legal limbod (no family, but also not free for adoption). How will He choose to show Himself in these areas?

My continued prayer is that we would not only see the Lord when He decides to do these great big huge things for all to see but also when, in all His wisdom, He allows the wait to go on much longer than is comfortable.

Love,
Anita

I watch Ghana's seasons pass...

2012-01-12T20:48:00.004-06:00

Sometimes it seems crazy that Ghana adoption has now been part of my life for six years (coming up on 5 years as an agency rep, but 6 as adoptive parent). I think of all of the people the Lord has allowed me to meet over those 6 years and am sort of blown away. Some friendships start out on fire and die down quickly into ashes. Some friendships are definitely God-given for a season, but die out over time. Some start with just a spark and grow slowly and steadily as time passes. And then there are those special friendships that are strong from the very beginning and only get stronger as time goes on.

I should feel only happiness at all of the people the Lord has allowed me to meet, and how sometimes, when paths cross, it has shown to be for His glory. Tonight, my mind is on three special friendships and I hope that these three men won't mind my sharing.

The years melt together for me, but I would guess it was around 3 years ago. I was on a Yahoo Group that was nothing to do with adoption. It was a group of people who loved Ghana. That's it. Some people lived there; others had never been there but dreamed of going someday. One of the members of that group posted about a supposedly great guy who ran a small orphanage in Accra. He and the children had been kicked out of their home, and were living in the hallway of their former home. Soon, they would be completely homeless. At the same time, AAI was running a small orphanage named Eban House. We had outgrown our current residence and were moving into a larger home. I figured it couldn't hurt to contact this other director and let him know that there would very soon be a decent home in Teshie that rented for 400 cedis a month (low rent) and had already been used as a children's home. The Lord worked it out, and the man and his family of orphaned children moved into the "old" Eban House, while we (Eban House) moved to a larger house down the road.

The man was interested in the work we were doing in adoption, and six of the younger children in his home were eventually placed through our adoption program. Families visited Teshie, and visited the man. They loved him and his mission. Word started to get out about this little orphanage.

Maybe a year after first meeting him, we had to close Eban House, with more than a year left on the lease. At the same time (just like last time!) this same little orphanage was running into problems with their home (the former Eban House). Once again, the Lord worked out the details, and as Eban House closed, we celebrated that we were able to gift this other orphanage with a larger home, and rent free for about a year. Yea God!

That man was John Nyavor, and that home was Great Mission International (formerly Charity Kingdom Orphanage). We've assisted in the adoption of several children from GMI through the last 3 years, and have supported GMI as we are able. The best thing about this story is that GMI no longer needs little 'ol AAI. Now, the home is very well known throughout the adoption community, and has many organizations and private families supporting it. This is truly the goal, isn't it? You give someone a leg-up when you are able, in hopes that they will eventually be able to support themselves. It's the same goal, whether a little-known children's home or a struggling Ghanaian family.

***********************

About 4 years ago I was in Ghana and made my first trip to the north of the country--specifically to the Upper West region. Until that time I had been in the lower regions of the country, but had never experienced what the north of the country was like. We drove for 14 (or 15?) hours to Wa. A children's organization there had contacted us and asked us to do a presentation on adoption to villagers. I had expected to speak to a few dozen people, so imagine my surprise when over 400 people showed up! It was an experience I will never forget.

On the way from Wa to the small village where I was to speak, our driver pulled over suddenly when he saw a sign for some sort of children's NGO. If you've been to Ghana you know how very important connections are. You never know when someone you meet might come in handy for a future problem. The place was mostly empty, as their funding had just been cut off. I vaguely remember trading email addresses with one of the young men who worked there. Life went on.

Several months later I got an email out of the blue from this guy I traded addresses with. He mentioned that he was out of work, and were we hiring? [At the time we had actual employees in Ghana, not NGO partnerships.] I asked our then facilitator if he was interested in an assistant, but he wasn't. So that was that.

Several months later I experienced one of my first big disappointments with Ghana friends. My friend and employee had misused my trust, and had not been working in the best interest of our adoptive families. I found myself firing someone who 6 months before I would have said I would trust with my life. VERY painful time. It was VERY personal. And to top off the personal hurt, I was left with nobody to process our AAI adoptions.

I remembered that young man that had sent me his resume. I dug through old emails. I searched and searched! Eventually I found him, and WOW was his resume good. A teacher. An HIV/AIDS advocate. Former director of a children's NGO. And a licensed social worker! He didn't have any experience with adoptions, but could we make it work? We did. And now I call this man a forever friend. He has proven time and time again that he is actually worthy of my trust. And he brought our program from good, to good AND incredibly ethical. Joha is now his own boss, as the director of The Ripley Foundation. Through a chance meeting in a remote area in Ghana, the Lord made a way for me to meet the person that would eventually make a huge difference in the lives of dozens (if not hundreds) of children and families around the world.

**********************

In February 2007 we passed court for our son Bright. I had not met Bright to that point, and knew that we were probably still several months away from bringing him home. One of the kids went to the doctor for one reason or another, and I asked our doctor to take a look at the medical we had received for Bright. Our doctor did a double-take at his numbers, and told me that he presented as a very sick little boy. I KNEW he was sick at referral, but at that time (several months later) he was a SUPER plump and healthy-looking little guy. Little did I understand that his numbers showed severe anemia. Our doc has been through a lot with us (Samren's illness) and does not over-react, but she looked me in the eye and told me if this was her son, she'd be on the next plane to Ghana to get him into the hospital. Thus started my mad dash to make my first solo trip to Ghana with 4 days notice!

We were REALLY strapped for money at the time. I posted on the above mentioned Ghana yahoo group, asking for cheap hotel recommendations. Instead, someone from the list emailed me privately to tell me of a small children's home she was involved with, and her good friend that ran the home like a family. She said I could stay there rent-free and would be welcomed with open arms during my 3 week stay. Gulp! Okay Lord! I'm heading to Ghana for the 2nd time, first international trip alone. I know one person in the country, and I've made arrangements to stay with a man (and his family) that I've only heard of through the internet. Okay Lord!

It was one of the most precious times of my life. There was no air conditioning. There was no hot water. Heck--there wasn't even electricity half of the time. [This was during a major power crisis in Ghana.] But there was so much love. I didn't realize it then, but they treated me like a queen. Every day I ate a huge egg sandwich for breakfast and a wonderful chicken dinner at night. I had a private bed and bathroom where I could shut myself off and have time just with Bright and I. [He wasn't that sick after all.] I learned on the last day of my stay that the man and his wife had actually given me THEIR bedroom, while his family of four had been sleeping in the garage for 3 weeks! I spent hours talking with this man of God. It seemed that we never ran out of things to talk about!

By the end of my trip the Lord had provided a trust-worthy foster home for Bright to live at until I could return for him. He had laid the ground-work for me to work with AAI to establish an adoption program in Ghana. And He had provided the friendship and caretaker that would assist us in the care of the first children through our program.

It's five years later (next month!) and my friendship with Paul Anaba has never been stronger. Paul has been a constant friend and source of encouragement. He has never taken advantage of our friendship. He has never once mis-used funds that were sent to him. In fact, he goes out of his way more than any other person to make sure we know funds are being used appropriately (sending receipts, or photos of children with medication, etc.). Paul is still "Daddy Paul" to many children. He runs two amazing (and amazingly family-like) group foster homes in Ghana. The boys who were elementary-age when I first met them are now growing into amazing young men, thanks to Daddy Paul!

More than any other man I have ever met, Paul has a gift to care for children. I know it sounds strange to some--especially if you know Ghanaian culture--but in his home he is the nurturer and caregiver. I've never seen him eat a meal where he wasn't also giving bites to one child or another! This man who is small in stature, I am convinced, will have many crowns in heaven!

Not only does he have a gift for care taking, but also of encouragement. Today I received an email from him. This month is financially difficult for our program and, as a result, we weren't able to send as much as usual to help Nyame Dua (Paul's home). He could have written me to complain, or at the very least to express to me how much that money was needed. Instead, he wrote to me to encourage me not to be too worried. He let me know that he and the children had been praying for me (and believe me, they really do pray!). He wanted to remind me that the Lord will provide and that we will all be okay. Truly, I count this man as my brother.

*****************

Forgive my VERY LONG reflections! I don't know what purpose it serves to put these stories up on my blog. I guess the overwhelming message to my heart is that the Lord has a purpose for each and every season of our lives. I hear of a guy on an internet group, and it turns out to be John Nyavor. I meet a random young man in Wa, and it turns out to be the future hero of our program. I step into a stranger's home to stay for 3 weeks, and it turns out to be the man who would make AAI's Ghana program possible. Some friendships are meant for a season, and others for a life-time, but the Lord's hand is in all of them. I am thankful for every single experience--good and bad--that He has given me with Ghana these past 6 years.

Love,

Anita

So much

2012-01-10T21:04:00.002-06:00

I have so much to say, but not enough gas in me at the end of the day to write it! [Well...okay....I DID eat two Fiber One bars in a row last night, so there is no shortage of GAS! Let's call it energy instead!]

To write:

Why I need to be more healthy

Things I will not miss after I'm less fluffy

The intentions of overseas orphanages. Good or bad?

Did God destine my children to be my children?

Love,

Anita

Is being "radical" always best?

2012-01-08T20:23:00.004-06:00

I read a very interesting blog post today. One of my FB friends linked to it. For the past several months I've had it on my heart to write about this "itch" I have. We haven't been in the adoption process for more than 2 years. And we don't plan on adding to our family (unless the Lord speaks VERY clearly). I am surrounded by wonderful people who are doing amazing things for The Kingdom. They are adopting. They are selling all of their possessions and moving to foreign lands to minister to the people there. They are doing other Kingdom work that is wonderful and RADICAL! It inspires me. It also makes me yearn for the somewhat addictive feeling of taking a big leap of faith.

Most people who have adopted several times say that adoption isn't addictive. Maybe I'm the exception, but I admit that for me, I could very easily get addicted! Addicted to mothering. Addicted to beautiful children in my home. Addicted to traveling to distant lands. But also addicted to the high that comes from doing something that is "radical." Maybe this would be my version of skydiving! If time and resources weren't an issue, I may want to keep adding and adding and adding to my family. This is something I can do that, while meeting my own desire to be a mom, is also making a difference in the lives of orphaned children. [Note: My husband does NOT share my feelings on this!]

This blog post I read today argues that maybe God isn't always calling us to be "radical" (at least not in the way that some Christians think). Maybe sometimes Christ is calling us simply to live in the mundane, to follow Him radically as we do laundry and make dinner? These are things I'm still pondering.

Click to read Jesus Doesn't Call Us to be Radical: How our addiction to the radical can cause us to miss Jesus in the mundane.

What are your thoughts?

Fighting for Change (LONG)

2012-01-07T20:47:00.004-06:00

Hmm... It's hard to even start this post, because I'm not too excited to put it into writing. At the same time, I make it one of my personal goals for this blog to be open. To not post about this would be like leaving out a huge chunk of what's going on in my life.

Every year I say I want to lose weight. Every year I try for a few weeks. Some years I might even try for a few months and lose 20 pounds or so (before gaining it back). It's definitely a cycle I don't want to repeat.

For the past few months it has been on my heart to make some real changes in my life. The death of my Uncle Jim last month caused me to want to make changes even more. He was such a role model of healthy living, and I know that he (silently) must have hurt to see me so heavy and unhealthy the past several years. I can honor him best by taking my own health seriously.

The first of the year rolled around and our church staff asked us to join them in a fast for the first 21 days of 2012. Some are doing a Daniel fast; others are fasting other things that the Lord has put on their hearts. Our family would be in the second category.

Honestly, we are *SO* unhealthy in the way we live. I'd say we usually eat out 3-4 times a week. When we are at home, we fill ourselves with almost all processed food, with a piece of fruit here or there. We go to get something to eat AS SOON as we feel a slight pang of hunger. We eat when we are bored. We eat way after our stomach would signal "full" (or maybe "fool")! We intake LOTS of sodium, and LOTS of sugar, and LOTS of carbohydrates. Thankfully We've done a few things right, and all of our kids drink water except for an occasional juice or soda, and all of them like raw veggies. [I personally do not like a single raw veggie!]

Now that you know how we live, maybe it will be easier to understand that what we are fasting doesn't sound difficult for some, but is a challenge for us. Until January 21st we will be drinking only water, and will not eat between meals except for raw fruits, veggies, or nuts. We will eat no processed sugars. We want to "fill" our hearts with the Lord and His word. A craving is an opportunity to stop and pray. [Please note: I don't mention our fast to gain any sort of praise, but rather so you can see the whole picture of what's going on in our family right now.]

In addition to the things we are doing for spiritual reasons, we are endeavoring to make some other changes. At the very least, Eric and I can be physically active 30 minutes a day. We can work through our current pantry items and replace them with a more healthy alternative. We can commit to eating out NO MORE than 1 time each week. We can exercise portion control, and stop eating when our stomach is no longer feeling pangs of hunger. We can eat MUCH more fiber, far fewer high-glycemic foods, and many more whole grains and other whole foods.

It's a lot of change for our family, but we all need the change. Eric and I need to make changes to become more healthy and increase or life-spans. Taevy and Bright (I think) will benefit with their behavioral issues by eating less processed foods. Samren, like Eric and I, has to watch his weight and activity level. Kendi takes meds that make her more prone to high cholesterol, so a healthy diet is certainly prescribed for her.

How's it going? Honestly, it's sort of rough! We have tried to protect ourselves from doing too much too quickly and then giving up because it's too difficult. At the same time, we want it to be a challenge.

Water: This has been much harder for me than it should be! I gave up caffeine a long time ago, and have limited myself to one (diet, caffeine-free) soda a day for years. But I have picked up Vitamin water as an alternative. I love the stuff! The first day I went to "water only" it tasted pretty nasty (from our fridge or faucet). Seven days in and water now tastes good, but I am far from craving it. I'd still love a soda or vitamin water with dinner!

No Snacking/Healthy Snacking: THIS has been a huge struggle for me. During the day, not so much, because I am really focused on work and kid stuff. But at night, both before and after dinner and ESPECIALLY before bed, this is hard. I usually eat a bowl of (sugary) cereal or eat some other ooey-gooey dessert before bed. And the car! I never realized how much I eat while I'm driving! I have learned I have a big habit of nibbling on skittles or M&Ms (which are kept in the car for Eric's low blood sugar)! The other night I was driving back home alone after dropping kids off at b-ball practice and it was all I could do to not eat a few M&Ms! Not only would that have broken a personal goal, but also a spiritual commitment. A call to my mom got me through without cheating!

The fact is, I am addicted to food. Weight? I'm not even talking about that right now. It's about my RELATIONSHIP with food. I look forward to eating. I plan my next snack/dessert like a crazy person. I eat when I'm sad, happy, frustrated, stressed, and celebratory! I worry about having to feel hunger for even a few minutes out of the day. This is not what I want.

I'm reading two books right now. Both of them are helping me, and yet they are very different and even contradict each other in some ways. "Healthy at Every Size" and "Made to Crave--Satisfying your Deepest Desire with God, not Food."

From HAES I have learned some interesting information about the "obesity epidemic" (or lack thereof). I feel very secure in my desire to GET HEALTHY. If I lose weight, I will be delighted. I will jump up and down (and hopefully no longer have a boob hit me in the face)! It's hard not to put the focus on losing weight, because that's what I'm used to doing and that's what the world tells me I should be doing. But losing weight cannot be my primary goal. In my deepest self, I want to be able to jog around the block even more than I want to go down a pant size. I want to keep myself from becoming diabetic even more than I want to lose my double chin. I have accepted that my personal set point for weight may never be the number I want it to be, but that doesn't mean that I can't become more healthy.

I am still early in the "Made to Crave" book, but it is certainly helpful. It's focused on losing weight, but the book can easily be applied to my own goals. I don't agree with everything the author says, but I think she has some really helpful (and really common sense) tips. When I am in the midst of a craving, pray. Say scripture. Turn to the Lord. I can endeavor to put the Lord in the place where food is currently.

There. I've said it. It's no longer a secret fight for change. At the same time, I shy away from teaming up with friends to help keep me accountable. For me that doesn't work. I just feel extra ashamed when I fail. I need to make a life-long change and I need to be able to do it without a cheer squad. I am sure that I will blog about all of this get-healthy stuff, because for me writing is purging stuff that otherwise festers inside of me.

Now, I'm hungry! I'm off to eat an apple that I don't want, in hopes that it will somehow taste like chocolate!

Anita

Onward and Upward!

2012-01-07T20:08:00.004-06:00

Today was the start of Upward Basketball. Our kids have done Upward Football/Cheer in the past, but this is the first time our kids have played basketball. They are really enjoying it so far!

It's funny to compare Taevy and Samren on the court. Samren is "all boy" and into anything "sports" so he has been excited about playing b-ball from the beginning. He's on a team of 1st-3rd grade boys. [Samren should be in 4th grade, but we held him back this year.] For the first time EVER he wasn't the shortest kid on the team! It's really exciting for him.

Sammy can hustle! His little feet are moving constantly. There is no lack of aggressiveness on the court, but he does lose control a lot! We started counting the number of times he fell down. Seven. Seven times in a 30 minute game! [He has always loved to fall down for some reason.] He received the "defence" star for his team at the end of the game, because he got lots of rebounds and a few steals.

Taevy is a whole different story! First, she is pretty shy by nature. All new experiences really freak her out. She wasn't happy that we signed her up for b-ball. She cried before the first practice, but then said she had fun. She cried last night about her upcoming game, but after the game today she said it was fun.

At the start of the game she was still in shy mode and ASKED to sit out the first period. 2nd period came and she was matched up (man to man) with the best player, on the best team in her league. Oh, she got whooped! Aggressive is NOT a word I would use to describe Taevy. And this is new for her, so she got mixed up about her role with offence vs. defence. She DID hustle, and for that we were very proud of her.Before half time we were getting killed! [It's not at all about score with this organization, but it was like 16-0.] We didn't know if T's team would make a basket. They are just 4 girls who have never played ball before! Well, when we were about to settle in for a long game Taevy surprised us by getting the ball on rebound and breaking away down the entire court, finishing off with a lay-up! She scored! EVERYBODY screamed and cheered and called her name! [Before that, they had been calling her name to remind her who she was supposed to be defending!]

When she made that basket it woke up her entire team! They still got the snot whooped out of them, but the rest of the game they made a few more baskets and were much better competition for the other team. Because of her efforts, Taevy received the "offense" star for her team! Go Taevy!!!

It was a fun morning, cheering on our big kids. I'm so proud of both of them for their efforts.

Photo Dump!

2012-01-07T19:43:00.004-06:00

Connect 4 Launchers--a fun game that all the kids can play.

There is really a kid napping in this mess! She falls asleep in the most interesting ways.
We rang in the new year with a newly organized pantry! My mother-in-law decided to reorganize my pantry while I was in Ghana last June. Since then it has been a mess! I think every woman must have a method to her madness, but our methods are different!It's funny to me what a cuddle-magnet my eldest is. I think she needs a few more dogs and kids on her to really fill her lap!This was a cut moment. Kendi asked her daddy to put her hair in a pony tail. It only lasted for a moment (the pony tail) but she LOVED that her daddy made it!

Grandma G. worked with Taevy for many hours, teaching her how to use her new (real) sewing machine. I told her not to bring it home until she was SURE she knew how to use it (because I don't)!She made me this pot holder! All by herself (okay, with grandma's guidance). It's actually really good and something I will keep forever!Luck 'o the....Ghanaian?!

Wonderful Boring Year--2011

2011-12-31T23:31:00.003-06:00

2011 was wonderfully boring! I just went through and chose one photo to represent each month of the year, and really, there weren't many big moments this year. Can I just tell you how thankful I am for that?! It could have been the year that Eric's kidney failed, or there was some complication with Kendi's HIV, or a million other "bad" things. But it was instead a year where we coasted along without many highs or lows. I'll take it.

January--Mac joined the family. Cutest puppy ever!

February--First true "blizzard" I ever remember hitting Oklahoma.
March--Taevy's Doddle for Google entry.
April--Our submission for "Awkward Family Photos!"
May--Sleep over in the dining room.
June--Visit to Ghana, but also first visit to Togo!

July--Celebrating the 4th at Grandma B's house.

August--Hanging out.September--Unveiling of our new classroom!October--Kendi's first Turkey Leg, a the Tulsa State Fair!

November--Kendi writes her name (without help) for the first time.

December--A cup of cocoa.

What will 2012 bring? My prayer is that it brings more highs than lows. We hope to make some positive changes in our health, and continue our spritual growth as a family. Taevy just said, "Okay, I need to eat something because I've only got 5 more minutes to eat corn syrup!" LOL!

Love,

Anita

Meloncholy

2011-12-29T20:12:00.003-06:00

I'm feeling a bit funky where all things Ghana adoption are concerned. Most of 2011 was pretty good. I was HONORED to assist more than the "usual" amount of families to adopt. I was PRIVILEGED to see more special needs kids come home than in years past. But right now, I'm melancholy.

When things go wrong on the Ghana side of things I can deal. It's somehow easier for me to let go and trust that everything that can be done, is being done. Truly, I work with the BEST people in the country and am so lucky that I can trust them. But when things go wrong (or don't go at all!) at the U.S. Embassy, I feel FRUSTRATED! UUURRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

There are 8 children in my program that should be home RIGHT NOW. They should have celebrated Christ's birth with their families. Instead, they were left in Ghana, wondering if their parents would ever come (back) for them. One of "my" little ones has stopped caring about school because "School will be different in America. I don't need Ghana school!" [Hmm...he's a little bit smart, that one.] Another duo of "my" kids talked to their parents on Christmas Eve and asked WHY they haven't returned. WHY have other children gone to America before them? And there are no good answers.

I really try to be forgiving of the embassy. I know they must work under incredible pressure. I know that almost every email they get must say, "Please pay attention to MY case. MY case is important!" I sort of get that, since I also work everyday with (understandably) emotional adoptive parents. But really? REALLY, you can't answer an email within 3 weeks? REALLY, you can't just take 10 seconds to say, "We haven't finished processing your case." Why do emails have to go completely unanswered? I think that silence must be the worst fate for adoptive parents.

Even beyond the embassy stuff I feel that I haven't been on my best "game" lately. I've not updated documents like I should. I've not caught onto new processes that could have saved my families time and money. I've told people in Ghana that we (AAI) want to work with them for the children, but haven't been able to follow-through with those promises. I feel this very heavy sadness at having let so many people down.

Here's the worst part: Those people I feel like I've let down? Those people actually say KIND things to me! They even thank me! Today on an adoption group several people said such nice things about me and my program. On one hand I say, "Thank you Lord for encouraging me when I need encouragement!" On the other hand, it feels sort of like salt on an open wound--like an abused child that says "I love you" after being abused! GUILT!

Sigh. Hope. Renewal. A fresh start. A re-dedication. That is what I feel for my work in the new year. Oh, that the Lord would USE me for His purpose. Oh, that I would please Him with whatever small thing I can give to serve His children. Oh, that He would forgive me for all of the shortcomings that are sure to show themselves again. Oh, that He would give me fresh HOPE each and every day!

Yeah, what she said!

2011-12-29T19:51:00.003-06:00

Some families are easy to fall in love with. Without having met them, you can respect them (and maybe want to be more like them). That's sort of how I feel about the Bowling family. Recently Mom Bowling wrote a post about Christmas that perfectly expresses my heart on the matter. READ IT HERE. It's the second half, not the part about cinnamon ornaments. =-)

"I want to honor Christ. I don't want our society to be my standard. I want what Christ preached to be what I measure myself up to...otherwise, it's watered down and it's about me."

I wish our family was as far as the Bowling family is in the path towards making it all about Christ. I am so conflicted! I grew up in a great Christian family with the standard Christmas practices (gifts, church, gifts, gifts, and more gifts). I definitely knew WHY we had Christmas, but our Christmas wasn't solely (or even predominantly) about Christ. [This is not a poor reflection on my parents, as I don't think many American Christians in that time even considered that we shouldn't be celebrating Christmas in that way!]

As a parent Eric and I have tried to make Christmas more about Christ, but certainly we have a long way to go. HOW do we Christians ignore the verses in the Bible that tell us to sell our possessions and follow Christ? Why do we take some verses literally, but not others...not the ones that are inconvenient. Talk about an "inconvenient truth!"

This is what I'm struggling with. I want to have a heart that feels okay not giving my children any gifts at Christmas. I want to have children that are okay with that. I want to hit a January 1st where I don't feel like purging my excessive lifestyle because the year before wasn't excessive!

But here we are. We not only gave gifts to the kids...we gave more than we have in the past. We didn't "find time" to study advent each day this year. We didn't reach out to our community as much as we did last year. I feel sort of like we went backwards. And still, there is this part of my mind that is whispering to me as I write this, "It's not wrong to give your children gifts!" And I know it's not WRONG, but is it BEST? I want BEST. I kind of doubt Jesus would sit at home with his kids and lavish them with gifts. He'd be out giving to others.

I sort of like the challenge that I heard from one preacher. Spend as much on charitable giving as you do on gifts for those in your family. Good, right? Except maybe I'd like to get where I spend way more on others than I do for my own family.

Ahh.... post Christmas musings...

Special Gift

2011-12-26T20:09:00.001-06:00

This is the finished product. Taevy is so generous, and loves spending time creating things for her friends and family. She LOVES cousin Morgan!

Gillispie Christmas/Christmas Day

2011-12-26T19:27:00.004-06:00

After our morning at home we headed over to Eric's parents for the rest of the day. We always try to coordinate the kids' "Christmas Clothes" each year. [Christmas and Easter--it's a thing for me.] I just realized that without intending too Eric and I also coordinated. Ha!My very best gifts on this earth. My children.Daddy and Bright got in a good round of gun-slinging!Kendi got her own "big soft baby" from Grandma and Grandpa G. She didn't ask for a baby doll from ANYBODY else--only Grandma G. She loves it. Her name is Alex.
My sister and brother in law got all of the kids these cool "Thrity-One" bags with their names embroidered on them. Very neat! The kids really like them, as do I!Sweet Niece and her growing family.The big surprise of the day was when Grandma gave Taevy and Morgan (one month apart in age) their very own grown-up sewing machines! These are not toy machines, but rather machines that will take them into adulthood. Along with the machines comes sewing lessons from Grandma! Taevy won't bring her machine home until she has completed a series of Home Economics classes with her grandma. So special.

After all of the gifts were opened each one went to their own thing for a while. Samren, building his legos....

Earle and the girls (and most of the rest of us if I'm being honest) played around with our new electronic toys.

I think Samren had the right idea! He did what we were all ready to do by the end of the day--go to sleep! Isn't falling asleep at Grandma's house the best? I remember the feeling of warmth, and utter safety as I fell asleep on my Nanny's house when I was a child. I'm glad that my kids have that same sense of security at their grandparents' house. It was a sort of difficult month for me (with the passing of my uncle) but I will remember this Christmas with fondness. My children enjoy all of their gifts, but they get it. What they "get" isn't their focus. They spent a lot of time this season thinking about how they could give to others, in honor of what Christ has given them.

Love,

Anita

P.S. Eric is making good progress on the goal!

Christmas Morning

2011-12-26T18:46:00.004-06:00

Bright and early Christmas morning, the kids woke up and waited on the stairs to be given permission to enter the living area. We were up before 7am this year, because my parents had to leave by 8:30am. We have been blessed with kids that usually sleep until at least 8am on Christmas morning. They were willing to set their alarm clocks to open gifts earlier!The house smelled wonderful as Monkey Bread baked in the oven. This is my mom's awesome recipe. She always made it for us on Christmas morning and I decided it was high time I started doing the same for my kids. [I won't mention that I am the one who loves to eat it the most!]
Stockings first.Our big "Santa" gift this year was a basketball for each child, and a basket ball goal for the family.I mentioned in an earlier post that the basketball goal assembly didn't quite go as planned. No fear! Super Goal Daddy is here! This pic was taken right before they started chucking their balls at daddy!

I was blessed to get several wonderful gifts. Eric SUPER SURPRISED ME with a Kindle Fire! Seriously, he is a bit gift challenge so it was a big ku for him. We had talked about getting one as the kids' big gift but decided to go with something else. He knew I'd like to play around with one but that I would never "waste" the money on something so frivolous. =-) Taevy made me this super-cool plaque! I am still trying to come up with the perfect place to hang it.

All of the children received Bibles from us. They were very excited about them, which makes me happy.This was Samren giving Taevy a hug after she gave him her gift--fuzzy socks!

I got Eric something he was NOT expecting--a new key fob. We had two but one stopped working. He sacrificially allowed me to keep the fob that still worked, and did without for the past six months. He was really surprised, which is hard to do! The little kids got (assembled) scooters as their big gift from us. They cracked me up when they got all excited and said, "We can ride our scooters to school!" and then took off towards the classroom 10 feet away! LOL! [Notice the tutu over Kendi's PJ's. Another gift she loved.]

After all the gifts were opened the big kids were acting gracious for everything they received, but I could tell they were also sort of thinking that things seemed a bit uneven. No big present from mom and dad for them. But what's that over by the Advent Calender? A small gift? Who could it be for? You guessed it. Thanks to a very generous friend who gave (yes GAVE!) us an ipod touch and a $25 itunes gift certificate, and another really good craigslist deal, we were able to super-surprise the big kids each with an iPod Touch! I was about to write "Christmas isn't about gifts." but ya know what? It is. It's about the gift of Christ to the world. And we give gifts to others as a reminder of that ultimate gift that Father God gave to us. We didn't deserve Him. We could never "pay" enough for Him, but He was freely given nevertheless.

Christmas Eve

2011-12-26T18:01:00.006-06:00

Friday afternoon my parents came down to spend Christmas weekend with us. We always appreciate that they take time out of their schedule to help us wrap gifts, assemble things, and spend time with us. Friday night the kids opened gifts that were given to them by my Aunt Margaret and Uncle Jim. Every year they give them each a book and a cuddly. These will be extra special since they are the lasts gifts from Uncle Jim.Christmas Eve we got ready and went to service at our church (LifeChurch.TV). This was our first year to go to Christmas Eve services at LifeChurch. I wasn't sure what to expect. Would this non-traditional church tone it down and have a quiet, contemplative Christmas Eve service? Well, not so much! Ha! If anything, the worship team was more "alive and kickin" than normal! The message was great (as usual). And at the end we did get a little traditional with the whole church singing silent night. No candles for us though--glow sticks instead! =-)
Christmas Eve we can always look forward to Taevy's Christmas play. This is the 3rd (or 4th?) year she's done it. The first year it was basically them singing carols. It's getting more sophisticated every year. This year was complete with lines (that they didn't quite have memorized), staging, and a spotlight! This year's production was called "Christmas Bread" and included a theme of "Christmas isn't about gifts; it's about the birth of Christ."The guys spent about 4 hours outside, trying to put together the kids' basketball goal so that it would be ready Christmas morning. Bust. But they get points for trying!

After the guys gave up on the goal we emptied our stockings of all of the kind words that everybody had given over the month of December. This is a new tradition we're starting. Can't remember where I heard the idea, but basically, we leave out index cards and pens, when we "catch" someone doing something kind, we write about it on the card, and then deposit the card into the person's stocking. It was a really sweet and encouraging time as each child read the kind words given to them by others in the family. This tradition is a keeper.

Before bedtime, time to get in Christmas PJs! Has anybody else noticed that they make way better Christmas PJs for girls than boys? After the kids went to bed we got busy wrapping all of their gifts. [We always wait to wrap all of their gifts on Christmas Eve.] My mom can really whip out some wrapping skills! Unfortunately, I didn't have enough supplies, so I got stuck with the kiddie scissors and a role of tape that was meant for a dispenser (scraping the tape up every time I needed it). Here is mom doing our dishes even though she didn't need to. Always so helpful.Our Christmas tree after everything was done.My kids aren't encouraged to "believe in" Santa (except by my mom). My mom diligently set out cookies and cider for santa, with carrots for the reindeer. =-)We were in bed around midnight, wishing for more sleep than we would get!

Beden Christmas

2011-12-26T17:16:00.006-06:00

The weekend before Christmas is always our first Christmas celebration. The family and I trekked up to Kansas on Friday morning to help my mom with the final preparations for our family gathering on Saturday. Unfortunately, Friday evening turned everything on its head. We learned the news that my uncle had passed away. After that nobody felt like doing anything but crawling up into a ball. But my mom wanted to go ahead with the Christmas gathering the next day, even if her heart was breaking inside.Our tradition on Christmas Eve is to give the kids new PJ's. My mom does this for the kids as well. Bright was NOT in the mood for pictures! I sort of giggle when I see this pictures. "Which one of these looks different than the other?"

The next morning everybody arrived in their PJ's at 9am. I caught this pic of some of the grandkids playing with the Little People Nativity. They weren't focused on the gifts in their stockings, which I liked.
First, breakfast. Then, gift-giving. My mom was doing her best to keep it together...to smile for her kids and grandkids, to find JOY in the midst of her sadness. However, this pic tells how she was really feeling.
Family pic.

14 grandbabies, and counting? [3 weren't able to be there.]

Bright's "Santa" gift was cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. He LOVES them, and hasn't taken off his boots since except for sleeping and baths!

I had to fill Eric and Taevy in...that it wasn't crazy hat date, it was Christmas!
My mom made these awesome photo collages for all of my kids--including her favorite pictures of each child.
Mom also had the awesome idea to make memory boxes for each child. My step-dad painted them and she decorated them with much care. These were a big hit. Another crafty idea my mom had was to make "gumball jars" out of small terra cotta planters, lids, a glass bowl, and wooden knobs. Aren't they so cute?! [I know you want to "pin" this on your pinterest boards!] ;-)
So, this was our first Christmas celebration with family. It was "different" because of the loss we were going through at the time, but there was still joy floating around, keeping us from drowning. I hope that when my mom looks back in years to come she is able to see what a great celebration she planned for her loved ones.

Peaks and Valleys

2011-12-20T21:30:00.002-06:00

Today we attended the memorial service for Uncle Jim. Evidently, he used to joke that they would have to pay people to attend his funeral. He was right about a lot of things, but not that! There were hundreds of people in attendance. Bill Blankenship (University of Tulsa head football coach) was one of three people to eulogize my uncle. His words were wonderful, but it was really my cousin Ryan (his eldest son) that amazed us all with his words of humor, truth, and dedication.

My uncle was an avid runner. He even ran the Pike's Peak marathon. His ashes will be spread on the peak sometime this spring or summer.

I lived with my aunt and uncle a short while after I graduated high school. It was a special time, living in such a stable family. [My parents were divorced, and my father, the son of an abusive father.] It was remarkable to me to see this upstanding family day after day, week after week. When I was under that roof, I went by my uncle's rules. One of those rules was that you didn't say "yeah" instead of "yes." If you said "yeah" the discipline was 20 push ups! He took it easy on me and only made me do 10 push ups or 20 sit ups. It's been one of our longstanding memories together, and I never say "yeah" without thinking about Uncle Jim's rule! Anyway, when I say that he was "more than an uncle" to me, this is part of the reason why. He opened his home to me at a time when I felt sort of homeless.

Because of the way he lived his life, I have always wanted to make him proud. To have Uncle Jim (and Aunt Margaret) be proud of me...that's no small thing. When I think about how to do it right, I think of that family. At the same time, we were never really touchy-feely. "I Love You" wasn't said willy-nilly. No deep heart to heart talks. It was just there--a special connection I have always felt with him. Sometime in the last several years my mom shared with me that he also felt that special connection. Today, as I hugged my Aunt Margaret she gave me the greatest compliment. She shuddered just a bit and said, "When I look at you I see him." This isn't because I in ANY way resemble my uncle. [I look just like my dad, and he is my maternal uncle.] I don't know why she would ever see him in me, but if anything about me reminds my aunt of my uncle, I am forever honored.

My uncle would NOT want us to be going on and on about him like this. He would NOT want me to allow his death to bring me to the depths of despair. He'd tell me to suck it up and get on with life because he's just fine. He'll be there when I arrive "home." One very true statement was made today. The first thing my uncle would have said to all of the mourners at his funeral would have been, "What are you all doing here?!"

So. I'm not going to stay "here" anymore. Movin' on Uncle Jim. Gonna keep making you proud.

Love,

Anita

Trying...

2011-12-18T21:44:00.005-06:00

I'm trying to keep my joy, knowing joy comes only from the Lord. I lost my Uncle Jim a few days ago. We thought he had made it. We thought the surgery was successful. It wasn't. In my heart I can feel happy for him knowing that is suffering is no more; but I am struggling. This is as hard as the death of my father, for reasons I may go into on another day. At the same time, I am "only" a niece, and feel that I don't have a right to grieve like this. I feel guilty for feeling this sad. His children, his wife, his siblings....they are the ones who have the traditional "right" to grieve him. He was "only" my uncle. Except that he wasn't.

Life goes on. There will be joy in the coming days as we celebrate the birth of our Savior. Real joy. Happiness? Not yet.

Anita

Would you guess?

2011-12-15T23:34:00.002-06:00

Would you guess than an 11 year old took these photos, edited them, and matted them for display? Am I a biased mama or does this kid really have some talent?!

So cool to see my daughter develope the gifts the Lord has blessed her with!

Anita

P.S. This is a gift she has made for her cousin Morgan. =-)

Yarn Braids--Reveal!

2011-12-15T23:14:00.003-06:00

Yarn braids are now complete. 73 braids was our total this time. I left you last when we were here...Here is her proud smile when I had finished installing the braids but before I finished the ends.
Here is the final result. I decided to see if I liked bangs this time. I think it's sort of cute. What do you think? The cool thing is, if I get tired of them, I'll just cut them off and replace them with longer braids!Shot from the back. I never plan out the parting. I just grab what feels like the right amount of hair for each braid and go with it. When I saw this photo it surprised me that it looks like I actually planned out a grid or something!Just to add a bit more pizazz I added these cute little diddies I found at the dollar store. Not enough to do all 73 braids so just the 5 bang braids will have to do!

A few people asked for a tutorial on these. There's lots of info online if you don't want to wait for me, but I did have Taevy take pics of each step. [She's so good with the camera. The pics are pretty clear!] When I get a bit of time I plan to post the step by step on the blog. =-)

Love,

Anita

The Lord is Good.

2011-12-14T12:25:00.003-06:00

**UPDATE!!! My brother-in-law did NOT have a heart attack! He had a gall bladder attack! He'll need quick surgery for that, but it isn't life-threatening! Praise God!!!

"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him." Nahum 1:7

The Lord is good. The Lord is good. He is my refuge. He is my refuge. This is my mantra today. I'm sick of sickness. I'm weary from or fear of death. At this, the most sacred time of my year as a Christian, I don't want to be bombarded with these signs of a fallen world. However, THE LORD IS GOOD. HE IS MY REFUGE. Sometimes I have to say it over and over and over so that the truth of the words can seep into my soul.

My uncle Jim--the man that I respect most in this world, and a father figure to me since my dad died when I was 18, is having open heart surgery tomorrow morning. It's the type where they crack open his rib cage. I wish you knew my uncle. He is the healthiest person I know. An athlete to the core. Every year for his birthday he does "Bulmerathon." When he turned 60, he did 60 miles on his bike; 6000 pullups and sit ups; and ran 6 miles. [Until 50 he RAN the number of miles he was turning in years!] Yet, his heart is incredibly sick. And when I visit him tonight it could be my last visit with him on earth. And knowing that, I must repeat, "THE LORD IS GOOD. HE IS MY REFUGE."

This morning we got word that my young and healthy brother-in-law was taken to the hospital. It appears that he is/was having a heart-attack. We don't know more. We're waiting on pins and needles, wondering if we should head to the city they live. Earle isn't even 45 yet. And like my uncle, he's the healthy one in the family. He watches what he eats. He exercises. He's fit and trim. He walks a TON each day as a mail carrier. And knowing that, I must repeat, "THE LORD IS GOOD. HE IS MY REFUGE."

I don't want to think of illness and death right now. I want to listen to Christmas music and bake cookies. But for some reason, the Lord has allowed this year to be different. I won't cry up to him, "I'm angry at you! You can't do this at Christmas time!" Instead, I will try to grow from the experiences He is allowing to come before us. I'll try to lean on Him when I really just want to fall over and go to sleep. I'll call out to friends to PLEASE lift my brother-in-law and uncle (and our entire family) in prayer. We need to be lifted by your prayers. Although satan tries to attack us and cause us to lose our joy, we will fight against that.

The pastor said on Sunday, "Happiness comes from Happenings, but JOY depends on JESUS."

I don't feel happy. But I refuse to lose my JOY.

Love,

Anita

Widows

2011-12-13T15:47:00.003-06:00

In my world James 1:27 is a prominent verse. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

This verse is used to support the FACT that we as Christians are called to care for orphans. It's not something you "put to prayer." It's not something you "wait for the Lord's leading" on. It's a command. Nobody (including God) says we all have to adopt, but He does say we all have a responsibility towards the orphans of this world.

Oh, but what's this? What have I NOT said? What do we folks immersed in the adoption world often leave out? The other half of the verse! WIDOWS. We are called to look after them in their distress, just as we do orphans.

Widows aren't as high-profile. There are no big homes for widows where you can send your monthly donation. But there ARE some good organizations out there that haven't forgotten about the WIDOW in all of our push for the ORPHANS.

Earlier this autumn my sister was made a widow very quickly and very unexpectedly. Yesterday, someone in our adoption community was made a widow after a tragic military accident. And maybe the present day widow is the woman who is used and abused and then ultimately abandoned by her husband. I have a friend dealing with that sort of "widowing" right now too. I have a dear friend whose husband fights chronic disease that will most likely take his life long before his prime is over. And it's no secret that I am married to a wonderful guy who will be lucky to see his oldest married or his youngest graduate high school.

"What's on your mind?" Facebook asks me. Widows. Being a widow. Caring for widows. That's what is on my mind today.

What am I doing to care for widows in their distress? That would be a big fat goose egg. What are you doing to care for widows in their distress? Hopefully more than I.

HERE'S ONE WAY TO HELP RIGHT NOW. The mom who was widowed yesterday had recently stepped out with her husband to adopt a child with significant special needs. The adoption was just finalized last week. Now, she will be parenting her four children without her rock, her husband, and is left with $11,000 in adoption fees still yet to pay. Money won't fix what she's going through right now, but it may take some of the pressure off of her as she figures out how to care for her family alone. [You can read this family's blog HERE. As you can see, they already had their hands full (in a good but challenging way) before this accident.]

My sister Amy is 4 months into widowhood. There seems to be a statute of limitations on how long we pour out our condolences on those who have lost loved ones. It's human nature. At 4 months in, Amy isn't receiving cards or flowers or "How are you doing" phone calls. People have gone on with their lives. But she is only 4 months into the rest of her life without Dan. She is still trying to figure out how to survive on one income (that wasn't even the primary income!). Please, LIFT UP my sister. Her grief is still very raw. PRAY for her. She is still in the midst of "distress" only 4 months after Dan's death.

I'm sure that hearing about another friend becoming a young widow may affect me a little differently than most. I might be that young widow long before I want to be. When that happens, I won't ask anything of anybody. I'll be doing good just to wake up each day, I'm sure. But I'm telling you now, my Christian friends. Inside, I will be hoping that you won't forget about James 1:27. I will need you when I lose my husband. And these women (among millions of others) need you now.

Love,

Anita

Doesn't Count!

2011-12-13T15:44:00.002-06:00

I keep mysteriously getting all of these payment receipts in my inbox from online purchasing. JUST. CAN'T. STOP! I've decided that if I'm spending money on evangelism or orphan care or to support other adoptive families it shouldn't REALLY count. Right? Am I right about this? Please tell me I'm right about this! =-)

Love,
Anita

Braid Time

2011-12-12T14:37:00.003-06:00

It's been over a year since I last put yarn braids in Kendi's hair. [For those of you who haven't heard of them, they are basically like putting extensions in her hair, except that you use plain 'ol acrylic yarn, which actually ends up looking more like real African hair than the regular extensions. Plus, they are super inexpensive!]

Kendi has asked for "long hair" many times this year. Honestly, I don't find that the yarn braids do any favors for her normal hair growth, so I put it off. But I promised for Christmas that I would give her long hair. We had a talk yesterday about hair time and if she was really willing to sit like a good girl. YES, she said, she would be patient. YES, she said, she would look down when I told her to. YES, she said, she would sit still on mommy's lap.

We started her hair last night and put in 3 hours. I got about 35 braids done in that time. [I am not very fast at this and her hair is thin and short.] She kept her end of the bargain and was a good girl the whole time!

When we finished for the night she RAN into the bathroom and said, "Mom, this is just TOO great!" Then she brought me a ponytail holder to put in a ponytail (something she can't normally do with her short hair)!

Today Kendi was expected next door for a Christmas lunch our neighbor has for the kids. What to do with a 1/3 braided head? Bandana is our best friend! [Note, I haven't braided to the end or decided what length to go with. Nobody notices that with it tied behind her back. ]

Last night I asked Kendi to talk about her new long hair on video. Silly girl! Uh-oh. Better go. She's crying upstairs because somehow "my hair is all messed up!"

Scrooge at the Manger

2011-12-10T00:10:00.002-06:00

Taevy and Samren in their "Dickens" costumes (or as close as our local Thrift Store could provide)!
The big kids worked very hard all semester to prepare for their Tulsa Homeschool Choir performance of "Scrooge at the Manger" the past two nights.
Yes. Scrooge. The manger. Interesting concept; good message (in a messed-up time travel sort of way)!The elementary-aged kids were the chorus for this production. No speaking parts or solos, but an important supporting role!
It was a really lovely performance and I'm proud of the kids. I'm also proud to be a part of this homeschool choir. They really do get a decent music education (not just performance-focused) and the kids look forward to choir every week.

Next school year I've been asked to teach the preschool class of THC and I'm so excited! It's been several years since I've had my music teaching hat on. It will be so fun teaching the little ones the very basics of music and sound! I look forward to my kids participating in this choir until the graduate high school.

Love,

Anita

That Kind of Day

2011-12-09T23:55:00.003-06:00

I'll tell ya what....it's been some kind of day! This morning we were surprised by 10am with a postal delivery. The kids ran in with the package below. Yes! That is some kind of sugary cookie-ish sticky mess all over the package!But don't worry!!! The post office assured me, "We Care." LOL! [I have several families that serve at the USPS so I'm not complaining. Just the irony of it made me laugh. I thought, "Did someone try to send me Christmas cookies in an envelope? Nope turns out it was a gift I ordered for Kendi (that was perfectly fine inside). I guess this was another person's Christmas cookies all over my package!
Soon after I washed my hands from the sticky cookie-ish mess I took out a container of Taco Soup for lunch. I watched in slow motion as the container flew out of my hands and exploded on the floor. SPLAT! The kids were good sports in helping to clean it up. The dogs helped lick up some extra splatters later in the day. =-)I suppose these events were rather fitting if you consider our week. We started on Sunday with a cold bug that got ALL SIX of us! Thankfully it isn't a bad cold. Everybody is on the mend except for me (who tends to lag behind on these things). I've probably got another day before the turn-around. No biggie.

We expected this week to be the busiest of the year. Choir rehearsal for 3 hours a day, or performance at night. First week of bball practice. Both Kendi and Eric had their clinic days. Hosting LifeGroup on Wednesday. As it turns out, because of the stinky cold bug, we ended up rescheduling or skipping out on several of the things. I don't know if I've every thanked the Lord for a cold before, but I came close this week! Now Choir is over for the semester, and the bball and LifeGroup will commence next week.

Love,

Anita

IEP Virgin

2011-12-03T19:11:00.004-06:00

On Thursday we had our first IEP meeting for Bright. I really had no idea what to expect. I hadn't done any research or even read the parents' rights. I know, I know....bad mommy. But life has been hectic and it is what it is.

Since our "school" is unique (a public charter school where kids are educated at home by parents) the meeting took place at our house. Bright qualifies for services based on cognitive, behavioral/emotional, and speech and language delays.

I really had no clue what services were available for Bright and, honestly, most of what is available wouldn't really help him at this point. I guess it's just a matter of getting him into the system, where he will stay for the next three years at least.

We will have the assistance of the speech pathologist and the special ed resources teacher anytime we need it. At this point, that's fine.

The most interesting part of the meeting was that as I looked at the lists of things that they can do to help kids, I saw a lot that would help Samren! It was already on my list to have him evaluated next (speech and OT concerns). I just wanted to get Bright taken care of first. I'm a little excited to see the ways that Samren might be accommodated to be more successful at his school work!

Anita

Deck the Halls!

2011-12-02T23:16:00.003-06:00

I have had all of our Christmas decorations sitting in the living room since before Thanksgiving. A very little bit got done each day, until Thursday. On Thursday I remembered we had Bright's first IEP meeting at our house that evening. Oops! It was a mad dash to get everything unpacked and displayed before the doorbell rang at 7:30! Seriously, we had just enough time to finish and shove some nasty Taco Bell down our throats before they arrived. Ahh....but today....today it all feels worth it. I just love the first few days after our Christmas decorations are up. So magical.

Our "simple nativity" on the entry table, along with what we call the "Jesus Gift" (to remind us that He is the ultimate gift).

Our "Praying Santa" vignette. It's a weird thing, I know, but traditional in our family. [More info here.]

The dining room--same every year with the Nativity Tree.

Our "Jesse Tree" made the move into the classroom this year. It's nice to have a bit of "trim" in there so the children can enjoy it as they study.

My first nativity set--nothing I would ever purchase these days (not unique enough) but it's special because it was my "grown up"nativity, purchased our first year of marriage.

The Ghana nativity is right at home once again on the breakfast bar.

This is one view from the chair I sit in while I work.

This is the other view. So pretty!

This year I finally had to admit to myself that I have more nativities than I have space. I'm down two display areas since last year! Hard to know that I have some nativities that are still in their boxes, but it is what it is. I suppose I can't justify moving to a larger house just so all of my Christmas decorations have a display area (or could I?)!

There is a part of me that says, "You should feel guilty for all of this excess! This isn't what Christmas is about!" There's another part of me that says, "You should display your very best to celebrate the Lord! Enjoy the beauty He has given us!" Ultimately, I don't think there is anything wrong with having pretty things, and putting them out at this most precious time of the year. Do we display these pretty things at the expense of giving to others? Absolutely not. All about perspective, I suppose.

Love,

Anita

We Wish You...

2011-12-02T22:53:00.004-06:00

The little ones did their Homeschool Choir performance Friday afternoon. Here they are with some of their cute little buddies!
They sang such classics as Six Little Ducklings, and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.
Here's Bright rockin' out to "Bow Wow Wow."
Don't Kendi's lips look so lovely as she sings? She looks like she's really concentrating while she sings Itsy Bitsy Spider!

Here are the kids with their great teacher, Miss Danielle.

I actually quite prefer the type of performance the kids did, rather than the over-produced Christmas play that some choirs would have tried to do with these sweet preschoolers. This was more of an "Informance." The kids showed what they learned this semester--loud and soft, fast and slow. THAT is what they SHOULD be doing at this age, not worrying about missing their lines!

And now, I present to you, the Tulsa Homeschool Choir preschoolers singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas and Jingle Bells! =-)

World AIDS Day 2011

2011-12-01T15:50:00.003-06:00

On this, World AIDS Day 2011, I want to share with you a glimpse of truth about what HIV/AIDS looks like for most in America today. Warning: These images may shock you.

Yes, I'm one of those people (sort of)

2011-11-28T20:56:00.003-06:00

Ten years ago I laughed at "those people" who went crazy for shopping on "Black Friday." My aunt asked me to go with her one year and I told her NO WAY! I think that was the year that she got my mom to go out with her at 5am to Kohl's for one thing or another. From there it was a slippery slope and before we knew it, my mom and I turned into "those people!"

Don't get me wrong. I don't go crazy. I don't tackle people for #2 mini choppers. I don't cry (unless I get tackled over $2 mini choppers). However, my mom, my aunt, and I have made it a fun tradition to scope out the deals and stay up all night going to the various sales. It's fun looking through all of the ads, making our lists, and then going to our designated areas to pick up certain items. [It pains me to say that, but it's true!]

This year Wal-Mart decided to do something awful (IMHO) and start their sale at 10pm. I didn't even know that until I got to my mom's house and my aunt was saying we had to hurry up and get ready. NO WAY was I going. But then mom guilted me. Aunt S. really wanted some items at the WM sale, and she has a very limited budget, and she's always helped us get our items all these years. Yeah...my mom can work me. I very warily agreed to go, but ONLY because I loved my Aunt S!

We got to WM at about 8pm, just to scope out locations of items and get things that were on our shopping lists but not part of the big sale. Before long we were all in our areas, staking out our claim on the various good deals. At 9:44 we got word that they would allow folks to go at 9:45. 9:45 sharp and the chaos began! It's definitely "grab and go!" We all got our items and met at our pre-designated meeting spot within about 10 minutes. We added a few more things to the baskets on our way to the check out lines. If you've been to these sales, you know the check out can be CRAZY! I have seen Kohl's check out wrapped around the store TWICE! But somehow we ended up in a line with only 2 other people in front of us. We were out of the store at 10:20pm. A shopping miracle! LOL!

We really didn't need/want any other items at other stores bad enough to get up at 4 or 5am, so we actually got to go to sleep on Thanksgiving night for the first time in years. After a leisurely morning we went back out to do our regular Christmas shopping at about 11am on Friday.

The cutest thing was my niece Mac. She is 14 and this was the first year she ever went Black Friday shopping. She also lives out of town. She was so cute! She was doing the laughing and crying at the same time thing after she grabbed her item at Wal-Mart. She ran to my mom and gave her a huge hug saying, "This is the funnest scariest thing ever!" LOL! We went to Gordmans and K-mart--both places she had never been before. She was a trooper and a great help the whole day long.

We shopped about 9 hours on Friday while the guys stayed home and watched my little kids. [Good hubby. Good hubby!] On Saturday just my mom and I went back out to Dollar General for 15 grandkids worth of stocking stuffers. Then, done!

Even though I still have mix feelings about doing any shopping on Thanksgiving day, I must admit it was so nice to be home before midnight and then be able to sleep a regular night's sleep. It was a fun time with my women-folk relatives, and I'm about 95% done with all of our shopping. Score!

Love,

Anita

Loud House!

2011-11-28T20:40:00.003-06:00

From Thanksgiving afternoon until this afternoon the big kids were away on a little trip with Grandma and Grandpa G.. They had a great time, but I missed them terribly over the Thanksgiving weekend at my mom's house! When we got home last night we still had to wait until this afternoon for the family to be united again.

There is an interesting thing that happens when our big kids and little kids are separated. Honestly, there is more peace. The big kids are great together and the little kids are great together. When the two pairs are together we have more arguments, more stress, and a LOT more noise. [Just being honest.] It's not that the bigs don't love the littles, but it just so happens that the pairs sort of play off of each other's areas of trauma. [Example: Samren has a tendency to feel victimized, and Bright often bullies him.]

This afternoon the big kids came home and the decibel level skyrocketed! [It didn't help that Taevy told her grandparents she needed to take her ADHD medication only once a day rather than 3 times a day!] The stress level went up. The arguments increased. These all sound like bad things, but I sure do like it better when all of my kids are together. As dysfunctional as we are, we were placed together to make this family. It doesn't feel right any other way.

Kendi, working hard to write her name!
Mac cracks me up. This is the chair he likes to lay in, but ornaments were in his way. He would NOT give up on "his" spot today. He just crammed himself onto 1/3 of the chair. He fell off over and over again but kept getting back up again. I'm sure there's a lesson to learn here.
Mac and Lucy in their "normal" daytime sleeping spot.
Best friends, for real. This weekend Bright did something to upset Kendi. Kendi looked at him and said, "Are you my best friend, or not?!"

"Yes Kendi. I your very best friend."
Not bad for a self-photo, eh?

Love,

Anita

Why are Christians not taught this?

2011-11-23T21:54:00.002-06:00

50Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.

51And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to
the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;

52And the
graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,

53And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the
holy city, and appeared unto many.

Earlier today I happened upon a blog that mentioned Mathew 27, verses 52 and 53, and the controversy in the evangelical Christian community about whether what the verses say actually happened (or were more symbolic words). I went to look up the verses. Whoa! What's this? I might have heard something about the tombs breaking open when Christ died on the cross, but 3 days later (when Christ arose) the people in those tombs also rose from the dead and went into Jerusalem where they appeared o many?!

I've read my Bible. I grew up in church. I've heard the story of Christ's death and resurrection thousands of times. If you go and read Matthew 27, and you are someone who grew up in the church, you will recognize almost every part of the story. The crown of thorns; the vinegar they gave him to drink; the mocking; the earthquake upon his death; the temple curtain ripping in half from top to bottom; the resurrection, etc.. WHY is the resurrection of these other believers not a regular part of the story we all learn as children? WHY has it been left out?

Is it that this is TOO far out there? Maybe our Christian leaders are afraid that including this part of the story in the oral retelling will freak people out? Is this part considered unimportant? Is it boring? What's the deal?

I don't have any answers to this one. I'm all questions this time. I'm sure that this part of the story isn't news to anybody who has carefully studied scripture. My question is, why is it not included in the ORAL retelling--the kind we hear from the pulpit, or shared in children's books or movies?

What are your thoughts?

Love,

Anita

Jingle Jingle!

2011-11-20T00:06:00.004-06:00

Up until the week before Thanksgiving I try my best not to think much about Christmas. [Well, not Christmas the birth of Christ, but Christmas the gift-giving, event-attending, busiest time of year.] However, now it is the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and time to start planning! I know myself well enough to know that if I don't carefully plan gift-giving, I will go way over what I should spend.

Does anybody else find this a very conflicting time of year? On one hand, I sort of love the joy of planning gifts for my loved ones. I love to decorate my house with a ton of Christmas decorations. I love the music and the noise and get-togethers. At the same time, the other side of me wishes for this to be a peaceful time, concentrating on the birth of my savior (and all that means for the world); reflecting on the magnificence of creation; sitting at a window and "hearing" silence as snow falls outside; to sit still and read scripture; to teach my children to think about giving rather than receiving. The two mindsets are opposite, and yet both are within me for the next month or so. Come January 1st, I am DONE with the busy-ness. I am DONE with the clutter and excess. I guess January is that quiet time that I partly wish for in December.

Since I am conflicted at this time of year, it's no wonder my children are! They are good kids and they do think about how they can be involved in giving to others. But they are kids, and kids love Christmastime for more than just the religious meaning. They can't help but think about what they would wish for, even if they have learned that it shouldn't be the focus. I have been so proud of Taevy this year. She has been saying for weeks that she honestly doesn't need anything (true) and that even most of her wants have been fulfilled. I have folks asking me what she wants for Christmas and it has been a bit like pulling teeth for her to come up with a list. [Isn't that awesome?] There is a special something she wants, but she knows it's not going to happen. [She's saving up.] The other kids have no problem coming up with things they hope are under the tree, but with Big Sister's leadership I know they will keep their "wants" in check.

I have come to realize that we will never be the family who doesn't exchange gifts on Christmas. We will never be the family who doesn't at all get carried away in the hustle and bustle and excitement in the air. My kids will always have reason to think about themselves a bit and prepare a small list of gift ideas for those that ask. And I will always take joy in giving my loved ones gifts. At the same time, we will have a reflection each day focused on the Advent, the events leading up to the birth of Christ. We'll enjoy setting up each of the 30+ nativities that I've collected over the years (not that nativities say something about ones' spirituality!] We'll read a Christmas book each night. And we'll spend more concentrated time together than we do at other times of the year--baking cookies, or making peanut brittle, doing crafts, traveling, or simply wrapping gifts!

It was a long but ultimately satisfying day today. We cut and trimmed and otherwise prepared the yards for winter. We put away all of the lovely Autumn decorations. We cleared out a spot for the Christmas tree. [Big help by Eric and the kids). And I planned what we will give the children on Christmas. A mixture of family gifts, and personal gifts, and "giving to others" gifts. The best moment of the day was adding it all up and realizing I came in $2 under budget!!

That's the "jingle jingle." It's eight quarters in my pocket!

Anita

P.S. Oops! I guess I'll be using those 8 quarters after all. I forgot about stockings!

PB&J, You are Invited!

2011-11-18T22:26:00.003-06:00

[In Ghana, whenever somebody sits down to eat food while you have none, they say, "You are invited." Even if they don't necessarily want to share their food with you, they will always invite you to share it with them. Not to do so would be VERY rude!]

Starting Sunday at sundown our family is going to eat only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches until the Thanksgiving meal on Thursday. The money that we save by eating this simple food rather than eating out or even making other meals, we will donate to Adoption Advocates International. AAI has LOTS of worthy projects, but this time our family is going to donate to the "home fires" fund. People don't think about giving money just to keep the electricity and phone bills paid at their adoption agency, but that is a very real need--especially with agencies who truly only charge what they must to make ends meet.

In the scheme of things, 3-4 days of eating PB&J three meals a day is a super small sacrifice. Not even a whole week! And yet, we figure we will be able to donate over $100 to AAI. It will also serve as an example to our children how much of the world eats. For much of the world, there isn't a lot of variety in the basic diet. I expect that we will hear more than our share of complaints next week. That's okay. It's just a very short inconvenience for all of us.

YOU ARE INVITED!!! Maybe your family wants to join us? If so, let me know! I'd love to hear that others have decided to do the same thing (or something similar). Some families do beans and rice instead of PB&J. That would have had my vote, except that we have one child that gags and vomits if he sees a bean!

Love,

Anita

Adoption-Minded

2011-11-18T21:53:00.002-06:00

This has been a good week. Nobody was sick. The kids rocked "at" school. I had a fruitful week "at" work. The house is not a total wreck, and nothing stopped working or dropped out of place this week (unlike last week when the vent hood fell off)! It has been a week when I've actually had the ability to do a bit more than the absolute minimum. Yeah for "more than the minimum!" I had a bit of left over brain at the end of the night to consider things...to think about things. Therefore, I have thoughts to write about!

[With absolutely NO intent to hurt feelings of others.]

I love all of the adoption and orphan care t-shirts that are out there. Well, not "all," but I love that they are out there, on the market. Many of them are so cool, and it's awesome that families can design a shirt and them make money for their adoption selling the shirts. I have my own mini-collection of these shirts now. However, my children do not. It would just feel weird to me to dress my kids in shirts that advertise their former orphan status. I don't want to use them to advertise adoption or orphan care. Is that weird? I think I might be in the minority here. I see kids on facebook wearing these adorable shirts, and I know the hearts of their parents are in the RIGHT place. I know their parents are great people. But I just can't do it. My kids didn't sign up to be orphans. And they didn't sign up to be the child of an adoption advocate. They just want to live their lives as normal kids in a normal family. If THEY ask me for a specific cool adoption t-shirt, I'm totally cool with that. I just don't want to push it on them.

*******************

I feel all special because I've been asked to review two adoption resources. So cool! Bryan Post has created a resource called "Parenting Attachment Challenged Children, a Hands On Parenting Home Study Course.". They asked if I would review this new packet. I have looked through it and so far it looks really good. Elizabeth O'Toole wrote "In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption." I have read most of that book now. It looks like a really valuable resource for those that have families who are new to adoption and need to know how to support the adoptive family. Easy read. I've read a similar book before, but this one is much better. Anyway, this reviewing thing is an interesting new venture that is right up my alley.

******************

I've been thinking more about fostering lately. I sort of wish it was the "right time" in our life, but I know my heart is ahead of the game. I told Eric that I would not ask him to adopt again after kiddo #4, and I will stick to that promise. If we are called to adopt again, the Lord will have to speak directly to Eric about it! But, do I have room in my heart for more children? Absolutely. I like to think about the time when we will be able to foster children. I want to be able to serve vulnerable children with an absolute hope for reunification with their biological families. And if that doesn't happen, and the child becomes available for adoption, that will be between the Lord and Eric. =-) Right now, I know that it wouldn't be healthy for Bright if we fostered. He's not to a secure enough place yet. Oh yeah...and there is that little matter of DHS never approving us because we don't have any more bedroom space!

Love,

Anita

Pic Post

2011-11-13T19:34:00.005-06:00

It's been a while since I shared pics (I realized when I downloaded pics off my camera today)! So, from 10-31 to 11-13-11....

Taevy made this cute little fish key ring for our neighbor's birthday. It's not that this is a significant piece of work, but it's a perfect example of one of Taevy's gifts. She is artistic/crafty. She can look at a skein of yarn, imagine something, and then actually create it! No pattern for this fish. She just...did it. I can crochet with patterns, and I can be somewhat creative in putting different stitches together to make something else, but Taevy uses the the yarn to make fishes, or birds, or other things I could never imagine!
Halloween. This year we didn't buy anything to make costumes. The kids used things in our costume/dress-up bin. I thought they did pretty good! [Bright is a dinosaur, in case you can't tell. He has a tail in the back.]

A few weeks ago our washer broke down. Instead of repairing the washer we decided to bite the bullet and buy a new washer/dryer set. Honestly, I was so nervous going to the new front load set, but it is AWESOME! We can do twice the laundry in half the amount of time. We had a LOT of back-up laundry to do when we first got the set. The laundry was getting down so quickly we had to just take a break! As soon as we were done folding another load was dry and ready to fold. I feel incredibly spoiled with this set (even though it was quite inexpensive as these things go).
Our little Sammy-Man turned 10 years old the other day! 10 is significant to our family because back when he was so sick the doctors told us that lots of kids don't make it past their 10th birthday with his disease. I used to look at 2 year old Samren and wonder if I would ever get to know him at 10 years old. Praise the Lord--thanks to His healing--we do. I feel so honored to be able to parent this little man.We celebrate Sammy's birthday with his cousin Mia every year. Mia turned 8 on the 10th. She is such a blessing to our family. It's so cool that my kids have a cousin who was also adopted internationally. Although Mia is blind, she is one of the most advanced kids in her class. She says she is going to be a teacher some day, and I 100% believe her!

They both picked Butterfinger Cake for their birthday. Easy peasy! [Take a Devil's food cake mix and bake as directed. Use the end of a wooden spoon to poke holes in the HOT cake. Pour one can condensed milk over the HOT cake (it will go into the holes). Crush butterfingers and spread over the hot cake. Let cool. Spread cool whip over the cake. Sprinkle with additional butterfinger. YUM!]

The other night I went to kiss Bright goodnight. He was waiting for me. Poor guy fell asleep like this! LOL! Only a 6 year old could fall asleep like this!

10 Years Ago...

2011-11-11T22:27:00.002-06:00

November 9th marked 10 years since Eric and I become a mommy and daddy for the first time. Ten years ago we got a call from our caseworker that changed our lives forever. "I have a referral for you. And it's a girl!" A girl! 9 to 1 odds that we would NOT receive a girl referral, but the Lord saw fit to match us with a beautiful 1 month old little girl. In today's world of international adoption it's hard to conceive the possibility of being matched with such a young child, but back then it wasn't such an oddity. We thought that we had missed SO MUCH of her young life. She came home at 5 months and 3 weeks old. =-)

We could have *never* *ever* *EVER* imagined that the next 10 years would have us experience all of the things the Lord brought to us. Here's a partial list....

Adopting again 10 months after Taevy came home.
Adopting from Vietnam.
Feeling a call and a passion to begin assisting others with international adoption.
Resign from the teaching career I had planned since I was in 7th grade.
Learning all about attachment issues.
Sensory Integration Disorder.
ADHD
Failure to Thrive
Auto-Immune Enteropathy
NG tubes; G-tubes; Mickey Buttons
pre-digested formual (and the cost!)
Amazing, humbling, incredible, miraculous HEALING of Autu-Immune Enterpathy
Healing of warts (hey--ANY healing is worthy of praise!)
Introduction to Fibromyalgia
Deciding to homeschool.
A dream that told me we had two more children, in Africa. Would have NEVER dreamed we would have children in Africa.
A new home, perfectly suited to four children.
3 lay-offs, and 3 new jobs that provided for our family even better than the jobs Eric was laid off from!
Direction that took us to Ghana to adopt Bright.
Adopting an "older" child. Not really, but to us at the start of this 10 years, 20 and 27 months was "old!" I remember my friend T adopting a 17 month old and me thinking, "Oh, I could never adopt a child that old." Ha!
Dialysis. Ugh.
The provision of a job working in Ghana adoption.
Learning that HIV/AIDS is NOT a death sentence and that people actually adopt positive children. NEVER would have guessed that one in 2001!
Adopting our 4th blessing, an HIV+ child.
Kidney Transplant.
A niece that was brought into our family when my sister and her husband adopted internationally. Never saw that one coming!
Riding on a bus for 19 hours in Africa. Africa! I went to Africa (10 times)!!!
Kidney transplant, post-surgery doctor's appointments (so not fun).
Childhood trauma, and what it can do to a little one's heart.
Malnutrition, and what it can do to a little one's mind.
[Eric's contribution] A church where we watch the Sunday sermon on a video screen. Couldn't imagine such a thing (or that we would be part of it) in 2001! LifeChurch.TV
Hope. So VERY much hope for the future!

I've sat here for the last 5 minutes thinking about what to write next, and instead, smiling to myself as I go through all of the images in my mind. What a life. If I died tomorrow, I would have had an amazing life. The Lord has blessed us. Lots of the things on that list don't look so fun, but each of them prepared us for the next thing or in some other way grew us in a way that was beneficial to our family. I wouldn't remove a single thing from the list. Without all of those things, I wouldn't have the family I have today. I have a feeling that the next 10 years won't be quite as full of "new" as the last, but never say never!

Love,

Anita

I guess I'm not ready to write yet...

2011-11-10T12:53:00.002-06:00

I put up a vague post about Bright on Facebook today, and then said I would write a longer post on the blog. Guess not. The page has been sitting her empty for hours. I don't have the mental energy to spend on a long drawn out post right now.

We got all of the psychological/behavioral/cognitive testing results for Bright today. It's sort of what we expected, but maybe a bit "worse" than we expected. He has received the diagnosis of "Mild Intellectual Disability." Back in my day it would have been "Mild Mentally Retarded." Back about 100 years ago the scientific label would have been "Moron." Yeah...

Well, he's not a label. And given the specifics of his testing, I think he's doing INCREDIBLY well. I haven't cried. Don't feel like crying. I'm not particularly affected by this news. Just sad for my baby and what it might mean for his future. And yet, he's the same Bright today that he was yesterday.

Maybe I'll write more on another day.

Love,
Anita

Quaking

2011-11-08T20:30:00.002-06:00

If you haven't heard, Oklahoma has been experiencing earthquakes lately. When growing up here you learn that we are sitting on major fault lines and that "someday" we may feel earthquakes in our area. I guess "someday" is here. We are used to tornadoes around here, but earthquakes? Unsettling! For me, as a Christian, it makes me think of end times. The Bible tells us that in the last days the earth will experience natural disasters of greater magnitude. It's both scary and exciting. Scary, because I think of all of those who don't yet know my Christ and all the work there is to do before the second coming. Exciting, because I would love to be among those very few in history who will be alive for the second coming of Christ. What an honor!

I appear to be in a very weird place in my life with this blog. I honestly don't know what's going on. Why am I not finding time to write like I have for the past 5 years? Is this a good and healthy thing, or a bad thing? I tend to be a hermit in "real life." I don't care to go hang out with friends. I prefer to just spend time with the family over doing anything else. I am SUPER leery of over-scheduling kid activities, which may mean that we actually UNDER-schedule them. Still yet, we have more to do outside the house than we have in several years. Doctor's appointments and Wednesday-night church (yea!) and Friday Family Fun Night and Homeschool Choir, and, and, and. I'm sure we do less than lots of other families, but it's more for us. It's like my brain is so tired from living that I don't have extra energy at the end of the night to sit and write about it.

Writing has long been my release. Am I so contented that I don't need that pressure valve release anymore? [I doubt it!] Am I feeling like I can be less public about some of my feelings? [Quite possibly.] Have I run out of interesting things to say? [It feels like it!] I can only assume that this is a season in my life that will pass on by, eventually. Tonight, at least, I am writing (even if it is nothing at all important).

Updates:

Work/Adoption: Things are generally going very well. I have felt so blessed this year by not only placing more children, but by placing children who fall into the category of "older" or "special needs" more often then not. ALL children (even cute young healthy babies) deserve loving families. It's just that my heart is particularly for those children who are harder to place. I have been so blessed to work with families who share my burden. Last week was an AMAZING week--matching 3 children with significant special needs that have been waiting for a while. Today was a totally mixed up day. On one hand, a family I know went through a horrible disappointment. On the other hand, two of our families passed court, and another received the visa for their VERY special baby girl. Such a roller coaster thing, this adoption business.

Eric: He's plugging along. Okie, the amazing super donor kidney, continues to treat the hubs very well. He consistently has great numbers every month when labs are drawn. We are so very fortunate in this area. I try not to think about the day when the kidney fails. Chances are we will have "her" a good five years. Some folks make it to 20+ years before needing another kidney. Eric's work is treating him well. He was blessed to receive a job offer at another company (which he didn't take). That helped him to feel better about his abilities and how "marketable" he would be if he needed another job. We are so thankful he doesn't!

Taevy: I think that 11 years must be the new 13. Oh. My. Word. Can you say hormones? Yikes. I sometimes mourn my little Taevy Baby at 5 or 6 years old. I wish I could go back and visit her sometimes. I don't think I took the time to really breathe her in and memorize her like I should have. At the same time, I see the amazing potential in my young lady daughter. Who is she becoming? I see a humanitarian and an artist in there. I also see a lot of confusion and frustration. It's so hard growing up. It's so hard deciding where to assert your independence and where to fall into the safe and loving arms of mommy and daddy. I love her so.

Samren: 10 years old on Thursday! Thankfully, I think we are a few years away from hormonal drama with Sammy-Man! He is every bit the little boy he has been for years, with hints of budding maturity thrown in for good measure. He struggles (like his mommy) with his relationship with food. He struggles to like his brother and sometimes battles the lazies (hmm...again, like his mommy!). But when he chooses, Samren is easily my most helpful child. He thrives on praise, and loves to do things to bless Eric and I.

Bright: Bright is in a pretty good place right now. He's chugging along, learning new ways to handle his stress and frustration. We've been very pleased with how Kindergarten is going so far. If he were in a typical classroom in any school in America, I thinking he would be passing. We are beginning to enter in to more abstract concepts. I will be interesting to see how he does with applying sounds to words, rather than just memorizing letters and letter sounds.

Kendi: Good grief, this child is too smart for her own good! She continues to be the sassy diva that she always has been (for better or for worse). I'm convinced that she comes by it naturally. I sometimes giggle to myself when I think of what it would be like for her if she would have grown up in her little village outside of Bolgatonga Ghana. What would they do with a child like her? Allow her to run the show, or "beat" her into submission? I really don't know. It's interesting to observe the relationship between Kendi and Bright. Sometimes he is every bit the big brother (older by 20 months). Other times she definitely takes the role of big sister. I think that she intuits his differences. They do their schoolwork together. Sometimes he has the answer. Sometimes she does. At the end of the summer Kendi didn't yet know but a few of the letters of the alphabet. But yesterday, she corrected Bright on a letter-sequencing activity he was doing. I think that this child is really VERY intelligent.

I guess that's about it for tonight. It feels good to write, even if only a mundane update.

Anita

Back to Boring

2011-11-03T21:55:00.002-06:00

I look forward to getting back to boring. I miss having time to sit and contemplate something deep, and then writing out my thoughts about it. I keep forgetting to take pictures of moments during our day that I know will someday be forgotten. When I do remember to snap something, I don't find the time to download it and post it on the blog!

I miss having time to do "extra" instead of just "enough."

Nothing at all BAD going on. It just seems to be a busy time. A time when I am too busy living life to sit and write about it.

Writing is when I process. No writing = no processing. Not good for me. However, being present for my family? Good for them.

Love,
Anita

This, That, and the Other Thing

2011-10-28T22:18:00.003-06:00

This pic totally cracks me up. Eric said this is the food chain (around here) in action! The cat eating his food, with the big scary pitt bull waiting patiently to eat the cat's scraps. Yep, around here Simeon the cat is TOP DOG!

I really think that ambien might be the best medication ever! [Okay, not really, but it's up there.] One of the side effects I have from fibromyalgia is really horrible insomnia. I accidentally forgot to refill my medicine so I didn't have any last night. MISTAKE! I took 6 mg melatonin and some other sleep aide the doc had me try once (that didn't work well). I felt tired alright, but being tired and turning off my brain are totally different things. Long story short, I never fell asleep last night. Ever. Once the sun was up I finally got a few hours of sleep. This does not make for a good Friday! All this to lead into the next paragraph....

Even though I didn't really feel like it, we made plans with the kids to take them to a local Fall Festival (halloween alternative) and I was determined to make good. They were all excited. They packed their candy bags and were looking forward to an evening of carival games. We picked up Eric later than usual (even though he was tired and ready to come home from work) so as to eat dinner and head directly that way. We ate up our Chinese Buffet and then drove to the church. But where are the cars? Maybe around back. Nope. What is going on? Good grief! The thing is on MONDAY, not today. I swear I heard on the radio that it was today! The kids took it pretty well. They know my mommy brain doesn't work well without sleep!

One positive to the evening was that the ladies working at the Chinese restaurant were very nice. They were very complimentary about our family. One lady said that she thought Samren must be our bio son because he looks like his daddy. [We get this often from Asian folks, who can see Samren probably isn't FULL Vietnamese.] I could tell Samren liked that comment as he called her the "nice lady" from then on out. Before we left some folks at another table said, "Excuse me ma'am.." and then said they just wanted to tell us how wonderfully behaved our kids were. How nice! Gotta love those moments. It helps me endure the other moments (like getting a brand new HUGE sharpie marker drawing on the bathroom wall, via Bright!]

Since I was not doing well physically, I popped one of my extra-precious "good" pain pills during dinner (still thinking I had 3 hours of walking to endure). We had no other plans, so the 4 hours of feeling good was going to be wasted! But not. I came home; the kids plugged into a movie; Eric went to bed early; and I have spent the night catching up on email. I even cleaned out my AAI inbox--from 275 emails to less than 75! Whew. That feels good. It got backed up back in June when I went to Ghana and I've not taken the time to clean it out since then.

Hmm...what else? Our washing machine broke this week. Eric wasn't able to fix it, although he's not the most handy guy so that isn't saying a lot. [Blind guys can't usually fix appliances.] I've been sort of hoping to get a new washer for a while, so instead of fixing the old one we decided to shop for a new one. Good grief there are a lot of choices! Ultimately we decided to try a front load. The deciding factor? Our *tiny* laundry room and the fact that we would be able to store stuff below while also putting baskets on top. It will basically double the amount of room in our laundry room! When we went shopping last night we bit the bullet and bought a pair. They really get you when they have them on sale for $800 less than normal and THEN take off a few hundred more if you buy the pair. Being a bit paranoid about getting a lemon we did purchase the 5 year "bumper to bumper" warranty. Our new fancy-schmancy washer/dryer set is to be delivered Tuesday. By then we will be floating in dirty clothes and should be able to really give the new set a workout!

One of the cool things about being blessed enough to be able to purchase a new set is that we can now give our old set to someone else. I put them on Craigs List tonight thinking someone would definitely want the dryer and someone *might* want to fix the washer. Boy was I wrong! I had like 15 responses immediate for the (broken) washer. Folks are really hurting out there. So many sad stories (I know some of them could be lies, but not all). Looks like the washer is going to go to a large family whose washer just broke down. Cool. One of the washer responses was from someone whose house just burned down. We had already given the washer but she can have the dryer. What's neat is that from that response maybe we can help her out. Single mom with 3 kids. She says they need "everything." Well, we have "everything!" Good Lord knows that we have plenty of excess in this house. I hope we're able to help her out with some stuff as she starts over. I love how the Lord puts people in each other's paths.

Hey! Did you see that the author of "Imaginary Jesus" commented on my review of his book? Taevy thinks this is so cool, that a "real live" author posted on my blog! LOL! I had to remind her that authors are "real live" people! He seems like a cool guy.

I guess that's about it. Nothing much that interesting going on around here, for which I am very thankful. That's the way we want it! The 4 hours of feel good time are dwindling down. I think it's time to join the family in a good night's sleep!

Love,

Anita

P.S. Does anybody else constantly spell ie/ei words incorrectly? That grammar rule has never clicked with me. "I before E except after C?" Huh? Then why is "peices" spelled EI instead of IE? Oh crap. I just spellchecked it. It's not. Humph! See what I mean?! Can't get it!

What's your Halloween/Harvest Budget?

2011-10-26T14:00:00.004-06:00

Kendi, 3 years ago. Lost all of her hair and much of her body fat from lack of food. 13 pounds at 18 months old.

Bright, 5 years ago. Almost lost his life due to starvation--marasmus and kwashiorkor. 8 pounds at 12 months old.

Samren, 8 years ago. Malnourished due to a disease that robbed his body of the ability to digest proteines. 14 pounds at 15 months old.

Three of my 4 children KNOW hunger. They know what it is like to lie awake at night and try to sleep, with their stomach shriveled up and empty. They know what it it is like to watch people eat around them while they continue to go hungry. As a family, we know what hunger does to a child's mind, heart, and body. Even though the hunger lasted less than 2 years for each of my children, they have issues that we believe will haunt them throughout their lives. My 10 year old obsesses about when the next meal will come, what it will be, and if he can sneak "extra" when nobody is around. My 6 year old gorges on and steals sweet foods any chance he gets, to the point of making himself sick. My 4 and 6 years old both experience great anxiety when food is being prepared, even though they may not eat it when it's served. All of them have some sort of learning/behavioral issue that we can probably attribute to the malnutrition they experienced as babies. All three of them have been traumatized by HUNGER.

There is a photo going around on facebook right now--a starving child and then a plea to consider donating as much to a charity this Halloween/Harvest as you will spend on candy and costumes for your kids. What a good and simple idea. I hope that you'll take this idea to heart. I figured, instead of posting that picture of a random "starving child" I might show you my 3 previously starving children instead. That random starving child that you see on the internet...that child is someone's baby! It's not a "cause" to that child's mom/dad to feed their child. It's a great failure to them that they aren't able to help their child eat. It's personal.

I'm not saying not to buy candy or costumes for your kids. It's fun. I'm going to. But I think we will also start a tradition of donating funds that will help a child out of (possible or actual) starvation.

I know you're busy, so I'll make it super duper extra easy for you!! =-)

Click HERE to donate to projects hosted by Adoption Advocates International. Specifically, you can make a one time or recurring donation to purchase food for a vulnerable family (Ghana--Food Sponsorship), provide education (and therefore LUNCH!) to a child through sponsorship (Ghana or Ethiopia, child sponsorship), or simply mark your donation for FOOD (and specify country)! I make a solemn promise to you that every penny you donate will go directly to its intended purpose.

Click HERE to donate to Feeding the Orphans. This organization has a simple mission--to feed orphans. You can do this through a one time donation or an ongoing sponsorship. I can attest to this organization's character.

Click HERE to donate to HardtHaven Children's Home--a home specializing in the care of HIV/AIDS affected children. Our family sponsors a child through HardtHaven. I've visited the home personally and can promise that your donated funds are used to assist children who would otherwise go without.

Click HERE to donate to Feed My Starving Children, and organization dedicated to feeding children worldwide. Our family has given to this org for a few years, and we've always been so pleased. Even though they seem "big," they have always been very personal in their thanks for our donation. You can feed a child for a whole year for $88, but they will gladly accept any donation!

Finally, click HERE to donate to Compassionate Journeys. Yesterday Christ Outreach Orphanage in Kasoa, Ghana was devastated by flooding that occurred in the Central Region of Ghana. I have been to this orphanage and know that these children are in true need all the time, let alone at this time. They lost many of their possessions. I can only imagine that the food in the storeroom would have been washed away along with clothing, school supplies, and everything else. Compassionate Journeys will be taking donations to help the home recover.

Thanks for keeping perspective during this fun (but sometimes excessive) time of year!

Love,

Anita

In Bright's World...

2011-10-25T14:17:00.003-06:00

At his b-day party (turned 6 on 10-4-11) Bright opened a card. I asked him to read it to us. The look he made cracked us all up!

Our little guy Bright lost one of his front teeth on Sunday! [This is his 3rd tooth to loose, and he's just at 6 years.] He already has a big gappy smile, so losing that front tooth gives him a HUGE empty space on top of his mouth. Is he not so cute? Since Bright really has no concept of money, the Tooth Fairy brings him candy. [The irony is not lost on me!] He was so excited to find a Tootsie Roll Pop under his pillow!

We continue our quest to figure out exactly what is going on with little man (socially, emotionally, academically, etc.). Monday was a big day for him. He went through 2 hours of in-home testing. I'm not sure exactly what they tested him for, but I know it included cognitive and behavioral stuff. I'm hoping to get the results in the next few weeks.

I won the SUPER MOMMY award by totally forgetting about the appointment! As I was rolling out of bed the door bell rings. Since I was up I yelled down for the kids to answer it. They did, and the guy started walking in. Taevy was like, "Excuse me! Why are you here?!" "I'm here to test Bright." Oh crap! I threw on yesterday's clothes, ran my fingers through my bed-hed hair, and ran downstairs. The guy was super nice. Of course the first thing he needed to do (after driving 2 hours to get here) was go to the bathroom. "Um...just a minute." I ran in and picked up the pieces of toilet paper the dog had chewed, flushed the toilet that hadn't been flushed, and prayed that he wouldn't lift up the seat and see what was under there! The sink was adorned with half-dried toothpaste spits and plenty of little hairs (hair cuts on Sunday). Nice. I *think* I grabbed my bra and panties off the entry way table before he saw them. Oh well. This is real life!

After the testing the evaluator couldn't give me any results. Lots of grading to do. He did mention that he thinks Bright could quite possibly have PTSD from all he's been through, but that it's very hard to diagnose in children. He also said that we should have him tested for apraxia. He thinks that could possibly be what's behind his very odd speech.

There are moments with Bright (sometimes hours) that I feel like my heart could just burst I love him so much! I will seriously catch myself smiling for no particular reason, listening to him play or watching him "read" a book. There are other times that I want to duck and crawl away because his stress causes me to go outside of my own window of tolerance. I don't want to scream at him because I know it's not his fault, but I DO want to scream at him because he's driving me crazy! LOL! Thank goodness that those blissful moments are there to carry us through. He's a GOOD kid that has had BAD stuff happen to him. What a survivor he is. How blessed we are to be given the opportunity to parent such a survivor!

Love,

Anita

4 months

2011-10-23T21:28:00.003-06:00

Yep. It's been 4 months since I was in Ghana. I know this because I have started to miss the country again. Every time I come home I think I will be ready to stay home for at least a year, but at the 4 month mark I start day-dreaming about my next trip. Oh Ghana, how you do haunt me!

Love,
Anita
P.S. For the record, I totally miss Cambodia and Vietnam too. I just don't have any way to get there anytime soon! {Work pays for Ghana.}

Imaginary Jesus

2011-10-22T19:33:00.002-06:00

Every day I get a list of free or almost free Kindle books. Sometimes the whole list is a suck-fest, and other times you find a decent (or even good) book in the list. A few weeks ago "Imaginary Jesus" was in the list. The reviews looked pretty good, and it seemed like a really funny premis. It was free. What's to lose?

I just finished the book today and I really liked it. First of all, there aren't many times that a book can make me literally laugh out loud. I hee-hawed several times in this book. I'm sure that I missed several of the jokes, but I was able to get enough of them to have a very good time! The main character wants to find REAL Jesus. He realizes (through the Apostle Paul and a talking donkey) that he (and the world) has created lots of fake Jesuses, as a way to make him predictable.

This is fiction in the most real way...and in the most fictional way...at the same time. It's sort of like an irreverent Donte's Inferno. I think that non-Christians could read the book and enjoy it. I think that most Christians could read the book and enjoy it. The exceptions would be LDS folks and folks with very "reverent" Christian traditions. He pokes fun at almost all denominations, but devotes two chapters and one stinging comment to LDS folks. Really reverent/traditional Christians won't be able to stomach how he makes light of various Christian traditions.

I thought the whole thing was a barrel of laughs, until the end when I thought he had a lot of meaningful things to say, and painted a good portrait of "Real Jesus." In order to find Real Jesus he had to meet a whole lot of other Jesuses. There's Legalistic Jesus, Free Will Jesus, Angry Jesus, and Hippy Jesus. There's my personal favorite, Magic 8 Ball Jesus (who can only answer with 10 positive, 5 neutral, and 5 negative phrases), and Baptist Jesus (who lugs a huge bathtub around behind him). Throw in "Pete" (the Apostle Paul) and Daisy (a talking 1st century donkey), and you can see what a rousing good time is ahead of you!

Here are a few (I think) funny quotes from the book:

[Matt, the main character describes the 1st century.] "The first century smelled like what Christians call a 'men's retreat.' This is when men leave their wives and children for several days, go to the mountains, and yell at each other, 'Stop neglecting your wife and children!' The unique stench of a men's retreat comes from the close company of men at high altitude eating only beans, steak, and onions, combined with a lack of bathing and shaving. The entire first-century culture revolved around the men's retreate concept."

[Matt has been sent to look for Daisy and finds her to be a talking donkey.] "I assumed that Daisy would be a, uh, person." The donkey snorted. "Well, you know what assuming does."

Here are a few more serious quotes:

"The Bible is meant to be interacted with, not cut up on a table."

"When exactly is Jesus supposed to have a conversation with you?" "If he talked, I would listen" Daisy shook her head. "No, Matt. He is talking. You're not listening. You're trying to avoid him by filling up your every moment. You need to clear some of the static."

"Societal transformation can only come through personal revolution. Which only comes from the Holy Spirit. End of story."

If you have a Kindle, the book is still FREE for download. The author just released his second book, "Night of the Living Dead Christian." The first chapter for that book was at the end of the Kindle version. Eh. It didn't grab me in the same way, but that may be it's Halloween time and I really get sick of all that "stuff" this time of year!

Super Garage Sale!

2011-10-22T19:17:00.002-06:00

Yesterday Eric's mom tipped us off on a great garage sale in her neighborhood. A 3rd and 4th grade teacher retired and had a TON of her stuff up for sale--cheap! We got the entire haul below for $22!

These are the neatest thing to illustrate and practice fractions. You can hardly see the clear plastic square at the bottom. Then, the pieces are in different colors and split in to 1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/5, etc. all the way up to 1/20!
She also gave us a binder full of dry erase place value charts and intermediate writing lines. Taevy has such a hard time with place value, so these will be MUCH used!
We got a Cadoo game, a croquet set (never used), a United States puzzle, mini-bank bags, and FOURTY-TWO awesome books (mostly chapter books). The kids were running low on books they haven't read, so it is awesome timing. We got lots of classics (Little House, Call of the Wild, Shiloh) as well as several boy adventure and childrens' mystery books. Before we left the lady gave us a whole bunch of laminated calender numbers "just because."
The kids played with their new stuff all evening last night! The little kids had fun lining up the calender numbers and the big kids think Cadoo is super fun. $22 well spent. Thanks to the MIL for the tip!

Ear Flap Hats

2011-10-21T18:19:00.004-06:00

My latest no-thought-required crochet project is ear-flap hats. I found this gigantic ball of yarn at a ridiculously low price, and knew I would need to make a hat for each of our family using the yarn. It's perfectly non-gender-specific. Is it pink? Is it purple? Is it red?!When I finished Taevy's hat she was like, "Mom, it's nice, but can I PLEASE have some flaps?" Umm...never made flaps. Wasn't sure how to make flaps. But off I went, and flaps did appear!
So the flap was finished but I had to make the tassels. That wasn't too hard to figure out. I'm used to yarn braids, after all!I'm on Kendi's hat now (only Eric's to go). I've made all of the hats with the same yarn, but with different designs. Taevy's has lots of "x" stitch. Bright's has a few rows of open squares. I like Samren's best (the one Kendi is wearing above). I got creative with some sort of front post triple crochet thing that I can't repeat again.

If you are a beginning crocheter, learn how to to hats! They are quick and easy and it makes you feel really good to make something you know somebody can actually use! Plus, there's no end to different ways you can make the hats. Fun, fun, fun!

Hubby-less

2011-10-19T16:55:00.004-06:00

This week Eric has abandoned us for "team building" exercises in Virginia. It's not often that Eric goes out of town for work. In fact, last time he went, he was still on dialysis (and had to carry the 40 pound dialysis machine through the airport!). Since I'm the only driver in the family, and Eric's low vision keeps him from doing lots of "guy" things, it really is very rare that we aren't all together, all the time.

One of the facts of our life together is that, most likely, I will be a young widow. While I don't plan to say goodbye to Eric anytime soon, we probably don't have multiple decades left together (on earth). When we were planning our family we had to be very real about how I would support the kids if he were to leave us before they were grown. All this to say (as morbid as it sounds) when it's just me and the kids I can't help but see it as a tiny "practice" for when a time that it might just be me and them.

Can I meet their needs on my own? Can we do everything we need to do in a week? Can we keep the house clean?! Can I be the loving leader they need me to be? Will I go crazy without my spouse to take over when I feel overwhelmed? This week has gone well. We certainly miss "the daddy!" But all in all, it's been oddly fun to have my kids all to myself for a bit.

Today our Epic teacher came by for our monthly visit. She is a super creative person. She brought a Pumpkin Patch Village (she made herself) for the kids to play with. That kept them occupied while we discussed individual learning plans for the kids.

Taevy is pretty good at crochet now, so she asked the teacher to help her learn how to knit!
The first truly cool front of the year came in yesterday. We are LOVING it! The heat went on for the first time this morning. Jackets are required outside. And for Taevy, it means cuddling up in crocheted goodness from head to toe!
What would the perfect fall day be without poking at a dead baby squirrel? We turned this into a science lesson, homeschoolers that we are. "Kids, see how the worms are eating away the dead flesh?!" =-)

Eric comes home Friday morning. He has been much missed this week, even though we've had a good time, just the kids and I. Last night it was like Kendi realized he was gone. She said, "Mommy, we can't go to sleep without daddy!" I said, "Well Kendi, he's not coming home tonight. What do you think we can do?" She said, "We have to go and get him right now! THAT is what we can do Mommy!"

Love,

Anita

"Unkin Spatch" 2011!

2011-10-14T20:15:00.009-06:00

Every year since we became parents Eric and I have taken our kids to the pumpkin patch. We didn't know it would become such a tradition, but our kids have come to look forward to it each October. We always go to the same pumpkin patch. We always do the same thing. The kids always pose for TONS of pictures. And we always go in the early evening while the sun is low in the sky and the light is golden.

This year our neighbors from down the street (who also homeschool) asked if we wanted to do it as a homeschool activity, during the day. In my mind I was thinking, "Oh no! This will not be the same as we always do it! Eric won't be there! It will be during the day!" But my mouth said, "Sure! We'd love to!" And it was really a sweet time. We love our neighbors. Here's a pic of all of the kids (minus one teenager that had to get to her tech class, and plus one grandmother of the baby). One of the biggest sacrifices in going during the day was that the light wasn't "golden" and I knew I couldn't take up all of our time having the kids pose for pics. Still, we managed to get a few good ones here and there. They definitely aren't my favorite pumpkin patch pics of all time, but they will do. The sun was in their eyes for most of the pics. Bright was having a pretty "off" day so I didn't get much eye contact with pics. =-(
Taevy, while always beautiful, was not having her best pic day. She was feeling shy because there were other kids (that she knew) around. We didn't get those sparkling Taevy pics we normally get!My poor little Sammy! He was a preemie and (we suppose because of that) has always been extremely sensitive to light. He really feels pain when he's trying to smile for the camera when the sun is in his eyes. Nevertheless, we managed some pretty good pics of Sammy-Man! The one below he was giving me a dirty look because I was taking a pic of him sitting out (his choice) while all the others rode the ponies! Sammy is totally adored by our little neighbor from down the street. Follows him everywhere. Puts his arm around him as they walk. Wants to do everything Samren does. It's SO cute! [Chris is just 6.] Chris's mom and I had a good laugh about Chris explaining to Samren why he HAD to ride the ponies even though he didn't WANT to...you know...because Samren didn't ride the pony and he couldn't lose cool points with Samren! ;-) [Ironically, Samren totally adores Nick, Chris's older brother. Samren wants to gain cool points with Nick! It's a bit of a love triangle!]

Bright-O was feeling a little anxious about the whole pumpkin patch thing. Beyond the fits he threw when he got overwhelmed, it's the little things (like making eye contact with me/the camera) that shows how he is feeling. Still, his smile is beautiful every time!

I LOVE this shot of him riding the pony! This is "real" Bright. I was going to say Kendi was in "unique form" during our time at the patch, but that's not true. She was Kendi--always full of energy and spunk! She was actually telling me to take pictures of her, silly girl!

When she was riding the pony she was swaggering her body back and forth (her idea of a cow girl I guess), making this "Yeah, I rock this pony!" face the whole time.

"Mommy! Take a picture of me picking up this unkin!" =-) Kendi couldn't stop talking about the "unkin spatch" and didn't understand why we only go once a year!

It was a really sweet time. I always enjoy Autumn with my kids. We all talked about it, and think that next year we really need the Daddy to come with us again. He was missed. And Mommy missed that golden evening light! Still, we enjoyed spending the time with our precious neighbors.

Christians and Adoption

2011-10-14T20:05:00.004-06:00

One of my personal pet peeves is to hear from Christian families who wish to adopt in order to fulfill their Christian duty. They know that we are called to care for the orphan. The logical next step for them is not necessarily to consider HOW they personally should care for orphans, but to instead begin the adoption process. That's the most in-your-face drastic thing they can do. They are "on fire" for the orphan, so they start the process to adopt. Oh, please don't.

Please, don't adopt unless you want to parent another child. No, not just "another child," but a hurt child--a child that has experienced major traumatic events and WILL have issues surrounding their past. Don't adopt to "save" a child. A side effect of adopting may be that the child is "saved," but that can't be the primary objective when a child is added to the family.

I'm not saying anything very well here, but THIS GUY does! I think this is the best written expression of how I feel about the issue surrounding Christians and adoption. Head on over to read his full post.

"We need a battalion of Christians ready to adopt, foster, and minister to orphans. But that means we need Christians ready to care for real orphans, with all the brokenness and risk that comes with it." Russell D. Moore

Children's Haven!

2011-10-12T11:01:00.002-06:00

I haven't mentioned it on my blog before, but I am SO EXCITED that the Isaiah 1:17 Foundation is renovating buildings in Eastern Region that will be used to care for orphaned and vulnerable children! I visited the future homes during my trip in June, along with my friends from TRF. It is an ideal location for a loving, family environment for children who need it. Looks like the homes will be ready for kids in January! Go HERE if you want to read more!
Anita

Hair Evolution: 2+ years in

2011-10-09T21:30:00.005-06:00

I haven't posted about Kendi's hair "evolution" in quite some time. To be quite honest, I haven't done much with her hair over the past 6-8 months. We condition. We de-tangle. We moisturize. We don't see much (if any) growth. She cries often because, "Mommy, I want long hair. When will God give me long hair?" [Ugh--break my heart!] She asked for long hair for her b-day. She is asking for long hair for Christmas. I tell her every single day how absolutely beautiful she is with her short spunky hair, and she is! =-) When we meet a black person with short hair I am always sure to point it out to her so that she can see she isn't alone, and some people CHOOSE to keep their hair short. Still, she's a little girl. She wants pigtails and braids and beads.

I guess somewhere along the line we just fell into the habit of wearing it free or free with a headband every day. It's quick and easy and she looks super cute that way.

The last week or so I have decided that I must get out of the Kendi hair funk and start trying to be more creative with it again. Well, I don't know if "creative" is the right word because I don't do anything creative with it even when I'm trying to style it!

While it seems to never get longer than 2 inches, it definitely has gotten thicker over the past few years. And just in the past several weeks I've noticed these beautiful little ringlets popping up naturally. Are those not too cute?! Can you see them? I wonder, if her hair ever did get long, if it would break up into these beautiful little boings?!In preparation for OU-Texas weekend (football) we did some french twists with red and white snaps. I've done this style several times because the top and sides of her hair are longer than her back.By this evening her cute little twists were full of fuzz, and some of the snaps had fallen out. Re-style time! Actually, I intended just to sit and massage her little ringlets into a thing of beauty but ended up making little coils all over her head. People either love this style, or hate it. My mom hates it (says it looks like worms)! I like it. It only takes about an hour. It is an actual "style" rather than free hair. And I feel like it's more protective than just leaving her hair free.

I suppose a stylist might be able to do cornrows with her hair, but I can't. The hair is too fine and too short for me to work with. Ironically, I can rock out some cornrows on my (Asian) daughter Taevy's long sleek hair.

I have promised Kendi that for Christmastime we will put in another batch of yarn braid extensions. She just loves having "long hair" so much. Some people say that yarn braids are protective, but our results are a LOT of breakage and shedding. I feel like we go way backward with hair growth. We pay a price for putting them in, but as an extra special thing once or twice a year I will do it for her.

We are almost out of product for Kendi's hair. I spent quite a long time yesterday comparing brands and prices. It is so hard for me to drop 50 bucks on my 4 year old's hair when good 'ol Suave is sitting in my own shower! We have been using a mixture of Bee Mine, Organix, and Quenched Curls, along with good 'ol coconut oil and shea butter. I love these producs. But in the end I decided to try to save some money this time around. It came down to Organix, or "Africa's Best Organics" (which I realize is not fully organic). I *LOVE* the smell of the coconut Organix products! The particular items I wanted in the Organix line weren't in stock, so I went with "Africa's Best Organics." Anybody used them before? Good or bad results? For $25 (including shipping) I got these 5 items. [Actually, one is "Soft and Beautiful" line.]

1. Africa's Beat Organics (ABO) Mayo Leave-in Conditioner, 6 oz, $2.81

2. ABO Kids Olive and Soy Growth Lotion, 8 oz, $3.35

3. ABO Ultimate Organic Therapy Coconut Oil Stimulating Growth Oil, $3.49

4. ABO Kids Olive and Soy Moisturizing Lotion, 8 oz, $4.00

5. Soft and Beautiful Just for Me Hair Milk Styling Cream, $4.49

I figure if these totally stink I haven't broken the bank! We can always go back to the more expensive stuff.

Love,

Anita

State Fair

2011-10-07T23:37:00.010-06:00

Gillispie Fam headed to the fair tonight! It is the first time in...um....forever! Seriously, I think Eric and I walked around for a few minutes once before we had kids, but our kids had NEVER gone before tonight. A mom with social anxiety and a mostly blind dad just do not mix. But, our kids begged us this year, and we had the funds to splurge a bit. We were blessed to get some $2 tickets from our neighbor, so SCORE there!

A nice lady across the table from us asked if we'd like our picture taken. Cool beans.

She asked if I would like my pic taken with 3 of the 4 kids too.Don't you love evening light? If only Bright were looking at the camera!

Fair scenes.We at LOTS of yummy food. Actually, the food was all Eric and I were looking forward to! We ate roasted corn on the cob (which was gone so quickly I didn't even get a pic!).
We ate Pizza on a Stick (which was the worst $9 ever, I thought). Taevy and Samren loved it.
The manly men digging into their manly sized corn dogs and pizza on a stick!

This was really a highlight--Kendi and her turkey leg! Her favorite food in the whole wide world is "chicken bone" (chicken legs, bone in). She can seriously eat 6 chicken legs in one sitting. We told her she could get a HUGE "chicken bone" at the fair, and she was not disappointed! Yes, it was about as big as her head!Bright is cheering here on--suck that thing down Kendi!
I ate some heavenly thing called "Pineapple Whip" that we didn't get a pic of. Just trust me. If you go to the fair and see it, try it! And of course, we had to finish the night with a yummy traditional funnel cake and cotton candy. Yummo! Next we went to the agricultural area, where I snapped this beauty of a pic at the "birthing center." Umm...yeah...new birth you say?
The kids and I (minus Samren and Dad) had a blast at the petting zoo. I mean really, where else can you see a kangaroo cuddling with a giant tortoise?!
This young camel was so sweet! He hung his whole neck out for us to hug.
This 4 horned sheep was an interesting-looking character!But really, the ostrich takes the cake, don't you think?
After the petting zoo we headed over to the area where they had lots of fun kid-friendly things to do. A giant wood block building area.... Giant bubbles. {Samren is really cheering Taevy on here!}

Biggest indoor sand pit anyone? Yeah, we didn't partake, but it looked fun!

Giant lego-building area is more our style!

We settled in to watch a milking demonstration. Kendi and Eric are in learning mode, as you can see.

Our friend, "Baby" gives an average of 8 gallons of milk every day--and she's not even a big producer. Holsteins can give up to 24 gallons of milk every day! The "Thank a Farmer" magic show was quite delightful for the kidlings.

Seriously, are the cute or what?!

There were a few "Africa" moments tonight. Recognize these baskets Ghana folks? Yep--straight from Bolga! Unfortunately, this (American) guy was straight for-profit. No fair trade. No employing folks in Ghana to make the baskets. You can buy these anywhere from 30-50 cedis each in Ghana ($20-$35) and this guy was selling a basic Bolga basket (like the one in the upper middle) for $370! Wow. Okay. Maybe I need to buy a few more baskets next time I'm in Ghana, and save them for my retirement fund!

We went past one booth that instantly reminded me of being at the Art and Culture Center in Accra. The dresses were in the exact styles I see there...exact fabrics. I was telling the family that it reminded me of Ghana when I saw the vendor. He asked where Bright was born--said he could tell he was African. Ha! Turns out the guy is from Mali. We talked about how we should retire to Ghana because it's so much cheaper than here. He had some beautiful golden shea butter. Funny how you instantly go into barter mode when you know you are talking with an African. "How much?" "Oh, for you? Five dollars!" [He really did give me a deal, as it was marked $12!]

The kiddos had a fun time on the for-sale play equipment. Since we have nothing but sticks and rocks in our backyard, this was quite the treat for them! At the end of the evening we strolled through the world's largest indoor candy store. They gave you a basket and everything was $3.69 a pound. It was full of old favorites that you don't see anymore. Fun.

By the end of the evening, this is how Kendi was hangin.' She looks how we all felt--tired but happy! We told her she looks like a giraffe in this picture with those long legs!
All in all, it was a really fun experience. We spent money on silly stuff, and yummy stuff, and funny stuff. The kids thanked us over and over again on the way how for taking them to the fair. [Nice to be thanked.] I think we will probably not make this an every year thing, so that it can remain very special when we do it. I don't know though...I could go for more of the fair food right about now!

Love,

Anita

From Passion to Action

2011-10-04T20:53:00.003-06:00

What was so special about Nehemiah? When he heard about a great injustice in his world (the walls of Jerusalem crumbing), he ALLOWED himself to be broken. He didn't keep his own internal walls up. He didn't think, "Well, I'm too far away. I can't do anything about it."

The Bible says that first, he SAT DOWN TO CRY (Nehemiah 1:4). Oh, how this news hurt him. He allowed himself to feel that hurt.

What burdens your heart? Is there one specific thing that weighs on you more than all of the other injustices or wrongs in this world? Maybe it is the unborn. Maybe it is hungry children. Maybe it is helping your own children to heal past previous trauma they've experienced. I bet, if you really open up your heart, you will feel broken and/or passionate about at least one thing.

After Nehemiah allowed himself to cry...to become sensitive to the injustice he saw, he KNELT DOWN TO PRAY (Nehemiah 1:4).

To pray is to become active, to seek guidance from all-knowing Father about what He would have you to do next. He may break the hearts of many over the homeless, but give each one a different way to make a difference in that area. He may call me to adopt an orphaned child; He may call you to start an orphanage. After you identify the area of injustice He would call you to, PRAY for confirmation and direction.

The Bible tells us that next, Nehemiah STOOD UP TO HELP. (Nehemiah 2:3-5).

He cried (became broken for a specific cause). He prayed (to confirm that the LORD was calling him to the cause, and to seek guidance). Then, he stood up to act! I think this is where lots of us get scared. I can feel genuinely burdened about lots of things. I can pray FOR those things to get better, but sometimes I don't ask the Lord what He would have me do to make a change. And certainly, there are many times that I never make it to the level of actually standing up to do something.

I think the thing to remember is that the Lord knows who we are. [He knows that I am naturally shy; that I am a picky-eater; that I don't want to go to the grocery store by myself (let alone across the world).] We just need to TRUST Him to know what He is calling us to. If we (1) allow ourselves to be broken, (2) seek his direction, and (3) are willing to step into action, He can do great works through us.

What would you allow Him to do through you?

Love,

Anita

You can be a world-changer!

2011-10-04T20:41:00.002-06:00

For the past four weeks at our church we have been doing a series on Nehemiah. Don't particularly remember Nehemiah? No problem. I didn't either.

Nehemiah was an ordinary guy--the cup-bearer for a king. He was nobody particularly "special" to the world, except that he was. As he served the king he heard that the walls in Jerusalem were in disrepair. They had crumbled. They no longer served their purpose. This greatly disturbed Nehemiah. He asked the king to be relieved of his duties so that he could travel over 1000 miles (in 400 b.c.!) to begin the work of rebuilding the walls. What he did, nobody really thought he could do. But he was called to do it. Through discouragement, threats, and other difficulties he (and the people of Jerusalem) rebuilt the walls in 52 days. He changed his world, in 52 days.

The point of the series at church was to encourage us to think about what God would have each of us to do to change the world. Sounds scary doesn't it? Sounds unobtainable, doesn't it?

This series really spoke to me, and I want to write my thoughts about it on this blog. Count this as the introduction.

What breaks your heart? What injustice in the world gets you so riled up that you feel truly emotional about it? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone to make a difference in the world? If you are willing to be broken, God is ready to lift you up and make you a world-changer!

Love,

Anita

Ten-Four Good Buddy!

2011-10-04T20:06:00.008-06:00

Today Bright turned SIX years old! Way to go Bright! [This is the smile I get when I ask him to open his eyes for the picutre. Ha!] After LOTS of practicing, Bright is now good at saying he is "six years old" rathern than "four years old." He never woud admit to being "five years old." We started practicing "six years old" about 3 months ago!
Bright is sort of an odd kid. If someone says "What is Bright into these days?" or "What sorts of things does Bright want for his birthday?" Eric and I really don't know how to answer. He's not into typical boy things (cars, Star Wars, trains, etc.). He doesn't really PLAY with a lot other than things that he can draw with, "read," or do imagininative play with (kitchen items, etc.). Eric and I decided that his present would be to go to Wal-Mart--just us three--and shop for his birthday gifts. After two hours he came up with an OU footbal ($7), a Bubble Sword ($2.50), a dry erase skills board ($6), and a cool Leap Frog "count and write" thing ($15). An odd assortment of goodies for a unique little boy!
Nobody was going to let Bright finish the day without his birthday swats! When Eric started calling him over he said, "Is it time for my Birthday Butt?" LOL! As you can see, he's scared to death!

Bright is such a blessing to our family. The challenges that he presents us with are also a blessing. They help us to grow, and to trust in the Lord for healing and guidence. You never have to wonder where you're at with Bright. What you see is what you get. That's good. No guesswork! Bright's smile is completely...bright! Because it takes him a bit longer to learn things, we always feel extra joyful when he accomplishes something new. We celebrate each year we are given with Bright, knowing that we could have easily lost him his first year.

Happy 6th Birthday Bright-O! [Bright-O is what his foster Daddy Paul called him in Ghana.]

Love,

Anita

Waiting for Mommy and Daddy

2011-10-01T18:41:00.002-06:00

It's time to highlight some waiting kiddos! Let me tell you, EVERY child on "my list" is important to me, but there is something that feels even more urgent when there are special needs kiddos on my list. These kiddos do not have a good chance at long and fruitful lives in Ghana. But in the USA? Here, they could receive therapies and assistance that could allow them to live long, happy, and active lives! They just need someone who can take a "chance" on them. No, we don't have all of the answers about everything their special needs entail. We won't, as long as they are in Ghana. The resources just aren't there. WHO will see one of these children and KNOW that they are called to step out in faith to adopt them? WHO is ready to love them forever, no matter what their future potential is? I know you are out there. I feel stymied by my inability to spread the word farther, but I believe somehow, these children will find their families.

These kiddos are at a large government orphanage. We have only just begun to work with this orphanage, but so far things are going very well. The care is less than ideal, but once a family is through court we may be able to place the children in private foster care. For all of these children, family size and age requirements have been waived, and some fees have been reduced.

K & K are 2 and 4 year old brothers that can be adopted together, or separately. They have very low muscle tone (hypotonia). They do not yet walk or talk, but they are incredibly expressive! They make great eye contact and have amazingly beautiful smiles! When I met these little guys my impression was that with the right interventions they could go very far.

A is a baby girl, less than one year old. She is absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, she is not developing on schedule and her head appears to be smaller than normal. She may be micro cephalic, but no formal diagnosis has been made. When I met A in June she was very much like a newborn, doing all of those wonderfully cute newborn things! Currently, we are doing everything we can to move A to a private foster family where she can receive more individualized care.

P is a VERY special 4-5 year old boy! Recently one of our families traveled to meet their daughter at the same orphanage. The mom was sure to tell me that "You *must* find a family for Paul next!" Paul has cerebral palsy, but that doesn't stop him from greeting visitors with much enthusiasm. He gives "high 5s" and the biggest brightest smiles you ever saw! He doesn't walk or talk yet, but with therapy in the U.S. he may progress beautifully.

M is an adorable 2-3 year old girl. She is currently in a very loving private foster care situation. In fact, her foster family has requested an "open adoption" with her new adoptive family! M has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy. She does not yet walk or talk, but with appropriate intervention she may make great strides.

These kiddos can be matched with families who have approved homestudies. If you have an approved homestudy and would like more information on one or more of these children (including photos) please email me at anita@adoptionadvocates.org. Families that don't yet have a homestudy cannot be matched with any of these children, but they would be free to apply in the hopes of adopting in the future.

Anita

P.S. Always remember that the only placing agency in Ghana is the Department of Social Welfare. All official matches are made by DSW. AAI and our partners assist families to navigate the process in Ghana and the U.S..

Donate Life

2011-09-30T22:08:00.004-06:00

It has been an incredibly long few days. I feel selfish saying that, since it wasn't my husband that died, but my sister's. I don't know how she has made it through the last week. She is so incredibly strong. I think I would be a blob on the floor--waiting for others to carry me through the days. She, instead, is carrying others.

The funeral services for my brother-in-law Dan have concluded now. Our family will always carry a certain sadness at losing him, but there is also a certain peace at knowing it is not a permanent separation.

One of the things that that I learned the last several days was a bit of what it is like to be on the other side of organ donation.

My husband was the recipient of a kidney 21 months ago. We refer to "her" as "Okie." Okie has been a good and strong kidney for my husband. I cannot adequately express the freedom we feel (and appreciate) each day after enduring almost 3 years of dialysis. 21 months in, we are still seeing the nephrologist once monthly to check levels, but there is no comparison to the rigors of dialysis.

Because of a young doctor (and inquisitive family members who knew how to use google) we happen to know the circumstances surrounding the death of the person who donated a kidney to Eric. I remember feeling so elated when we got "the call." The family and I were celebrating that evening in the hospital room before Eric's surgery the next morning. Eric, was less than celebratory. As we prayed for the surgery to go well, Eric (with much conviction) asked us to please remember the family of the person who had donated the kidney. He felt a huge burden on his heart for them.

The person that donated a kidney to Eric died in a somewhat similar way to our brother-in-law. It was a shocking and unexpected thing for the family members. It was a head injury. The person was kept alive through machines while organs were donated to others.

What we learned through Dan's death is a bit about what it is like for those that donate their organs. It *IS* a sacrifice. Our family members had to be in that horrible place of limbo (between Dan's life and death) for longer than they would have had to, had my sister not decided to donate his organs. Calls have to be made. At least 8 people got "the call" that they have been waiting and hoping and dreaming of--a donor match. All of those people have to get to the hospital. Blood tests have to be done, confirming match between donor and recipient. There is a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that we never realized when we were the recipient of the gift.

Please, consider donating your organs. Make it KNOWN to your family members that when you pass, those are your wishes. [They will ultimately have to make that decision, and it will be easier for them if they know where you stood.] Know that your sacrifice will make a difference in many lives. Maybe it's a husband--and father to four, like my Eric. Maybe it's new sight to a person who needs a cornea transplant. Maybe it's new skin for someone who has had a mastectomy. Maybe, it's a beating heart to someone who would otherwise pass away. Making the choice to DONATE LIFE may mean that it takes just a bit longer for you to join Jesus, but I have a feeling He would give His blessing and will wait up a bit longer for your arrival.

Love,

Anita

P.S. We found out my brother-in-law was actually in the process to see if he could be Eric's living donor for the kidney. We just happened to have gotten "the call" before he was finished with the matching process. Don't forget that living donation is also a MUCH needed thing! People who receive living donor organs have a much higher success and longevity rate.

Life (and Death)

2011-09-24T18:45:00.003-06:00

Yesterday wasn't what we expected it to be. We expected to enjoy the early autumn day with some outdoor stuff. We expected to eat dinner and play cards with Eric's parents. We didn't expect to get a call telling us that my brother-in-law had a horrible accident and was fighting for his life.

Not a car accident. Not an on-the-job accident. He fell down some stairs in the early morning hours. He fractured his skull.

Dan is a good guy. Amy, his wife, is my oldest (step) sister. I love all of my siblings and their mates, but Eric and I totally loved hanging out with Dan and Amy. They are so fun. Dan and Eric could sit and talk business and IT stuff for hours. On holidays we always looked forward to whatever Dan was going to bring for us.

Dan...being kept alive by machines. There is so much wrong with this picture. This isn't supposed to happen to OUR family. It's not supposed to happen to dads. It's not supposed to happen to thirty-four year old men. Except it did.

I spent yesterday sort of numb. Part of it was sadness for my sister and nieces. Part of it is sadness for losing Dan. But part of it is the randomness of it. Such a freak accident. And if it can happen to Dan, it could happen to Eric (my husband) or anybody else I love. We have no guarantees in life. I know this in my head, but I haven't felt the realness of that in a long time. It sucks.

My brother in law isn't going to recover in this life. But he is going to continue to give life to others. We are so thankful to Dan for becoming an organ donor. It was someone like Dan--struck by unexpected tragedy--that gave my husband Eric life through a new kidney. A sacrificial gift at a shocking, devastating time.

Dan is "going home" tonight. He will be healed and whole again soon. Please, life up my nieces (ages 16 and 14) in your prayers. I lost my dad at 18 and can't put into words the affect that can have on a young lady. Pray for my sister Amy. She is a strong and independent woman, but nobody expects to be a widow at 36 years old.

Love,

Anita

Should I have the right to choose?

2011-09-20T17:10:00.002-06:00

I'm a mom, in Ghana. I love my children, but I just can't care for them anymore. I've tried. I make kenke when I can, and sell it on the side of the road. The kids dad never accepted them as children--never even attended the naming ceremony. My parents are dead and my siblings are all struggling to feed their own kids. They won't help me with mine.

I got in touch with this NGO, and asked them for help. They told me that they could help with the kids' education--could find sponsors. That would be great, but it's not enough. How do I know that the sponsors won't stop sponsoring? That doesn't help me with food in the pot at night. And the thing is...when I get really stressed out...I beat the kids. I love them, but life is just too much. I need a permanent solution.

The NGO told me that there are people in America that would adopt my children. I would lose them forever, but they would be safe, and loved. Here in Ghana, I can love them but I can't keep them safe. I have decided to make an adoption plan for my children. The NGO said they will take me to Social Welfare so that everything is above board and legal.

....

A family has been found for my kids. The NGO called and said that I need to go to another appointment, before the court case. I'm nervous, but I know I'm making the right decision.

.........

I went to Social Welfare today. It went horribly. The person asked me if I knew what adoption is. The person asked me if I intended to profit. The person asked me if I understood that I will have no rights to my children if they are adopted. I know all of these things. I think I answered the right way. But then...then the person shames me for my decision. They say that if I don't want my children, it should be fine if they are sent to a huge government orphanage. I don't want my children there. Children die there. Children fade away there. There is no hope of adoption for them there.

Why is this happening? Should I not be allowed to make an adoption plan for my children? Have I broken laws in truthfully admitting that I would like another family to raise them? Why should Social Welfare try to punish me for making the best choice I know how to make? I know I am not the best mom, but shouldn't I have the right to choose what happens to my children? Choosing adoption for them is choosing hope. It is not the same as choosing to put them in an orphanage where they will be nothing to nobody. My choice has been taken away.

Social Welfare told me to bring my children back tomorrow--so that they can ship them off to an orphanage. What am I going to do? What am I going to do....

*********************************

Based on a true story.

11 years of Taevy-Baby!

2011-09-17T21:52:00.007-06:00

Happy 11th birthday, my Taevy baby!

Because our family is spread out so her first birthday celebration was at the end of August (with Eric's family). Silly me forgot my camera, but she enjoyed being remembered. =-) She received some cool lime green room decor and some money from Grandma and Grandpa G, and some neat yellow yarn from her Aunt/Uncle/Cousins.

The next weekend my parents were down, so she got to open her gifts from them. Taevy is VERY into lime green right now. Her side of the girls' bedroom is black and white with lime green. Grandma and Grandpa B. got her some cool things to add to her decor.

Earlier in the day us three girls (Taevy, my mom, and I) got our hair cut together. It was Taevy's first EVER hair cut in a salon. She got some layers put in her long, beautiful hair.

Last night was when we (the nuclear family) celebrated T's birthday. She LOVES seafood. This is definitely something born in her, as nobody else in our family cares much for seafood. Last year, she ate shrimp for her b-day breakfast. This year we really splurged and took her to Red Lobster. I don't know that I've ever been to Red Lobster, and now I know why! A pretty penny!
Samren gags on any sort of fish or seafood, so you can appreciate how he "sacrificed" to smile at the restaurant! ;-)Taevy opened her gifts from us at the table. She was none too happy that her mom brought the camera.Her b-day loot included a new pair of (green) tights with 2 new shirts, a Hobby Lobby gift certificate, 2 skeins of GREEN yarn, a crochet book of hats, a wood-handled crochet needle, and her favorite granola barsTaevy and Daddy. With Taevy, I can really see how important the father-daughter relationship is. What she thinks he thinks of her is deeply important.While we were waiting for dinner, Eric played with the camera and tried to get a good shot of Taevy and I. Not many mommy/daughter pics in our albums, since dad doesn't see too well!
I forgot to get a pic when the food was delivered, but Taevy and I shared salmon and shrimp (me the salmon, her the shrimp). She had never tried Lobster--actually none of us had--so we splurged for a lobster tail. Taevy loved it. The rest of us varied from "it's okay" to "Spit it out! Spit it out! Don't throw up!" (us to Samren as he gagged)Bright and Kendi provided entertainment with their side dish of orange wedges, much to Taevy's embarrassment!

At the end of the meal, the waiter surprised us with a cute little happy face creation and a round of the "Happy Birthday" song. Again, she was *SO* embarrassed! You can see the shock on her face! LOL!"Cherry Berry" is the big new thing here in our city. It's a frozen yogurt place where they have lots of tasty flavors and toppings. You pay by the ounce. Taevy's friends all rave about this place and she asked to go there for her b-day (rather than having a cake).

I must admit, it is SUPER yummy! As long as you don't fill up your cup and just get what you can actually eat in one setting, it's pretty affordable. It's a good thing they don't have drive-thru or I could be in serious trouble!Eric was too full from dinner, but the other 5 of us got some. It was $12.99 for all five. Not too bad. And it's low calorie/fat too (compared to ice cream or frozen custard)! My favorite is "classic tart" with fruity pebbles on top, and "cheesecake" with graham cracker cumbs. Taevy went for "classic tart" with a variety of toppins, including strawbery soba.
Taevy's final gift was to get a Cherry Berry t-shirt. When she got home she did a little modeling. Of COURSE it is lime green! In these pics you can see how silly Taevy really is, rather than the mature-look she usually has in pics!

Oh, okay FINALLY we get a normal smile! Today was her actual birthday, but we had our fun last night. DAD, on the other hand, saved his fun for today! Birthday spankin's!

Get ready....

Get set...

Go! [Yeah, she's totally terrified of her dad--not!]

In all seriousness, I couldn't be more blessed by this child. Here are some words to describe Taevy...

Creative

Teacher

Caretaker

Artist

Crazy!

Leader

Sensitive

Hyper

Deep

Humanitarian.

Love you Taevy.

A House with No Doors

2011-09-16T11:52:00.004-06:00

Yesterday we had a meeting with Bright's therapist. This was the meeting where the therapist was to give us her assessment of Bright, and fill us in on her care plan. Eric took half a day of work so that he could be there. It didn't go as planned.

She started with sharing that she believes Bright experiences significant anxiety in his life. No surprise there. Didn't need a therapist to fill us in on that one! She feels that it's more like "Social Anxiety Disorder" than "Generalize Anxiety Disorder." Not sure I agree with that. He's anxious about pooping and last time I checked that had anything to do with being social. I digress...

Next, she shared that Bright is developmentally delayed. Again, no surprise. She showed us how the person he drew was in scale with how a 4 year old should draw rather than an almost 6 year old. She gave us examples about his emotional development that would indicate a 2-3 year old, not an almost 6 years old. Yep. I'm on the same page with you, Dr. T.

Next, she went to the way Bright drew his person. He drew a blob around the mid section of the body. You could see her eyes widen as she interpreted this to be g*nitals. Children at this age who have not been abused (usually s*xually abused) do not draw g*nitals. The thing is, he wasn't drawing those! He was drawing clothes. This is always how he draws clothes because this is how I draw clothes (the uninspired artist that I am). I just draw a simple shape like a rectangle or square or triangle to represent pants, shirts, skirt, etc.. Anyway, the doctor doesn't want to hear that what he is drawing is his attempt to copy the clothes he sees me draw. She is stuck thinking he may have been s*xually abused by his family in Ghana--you know, between all of the sustenance farming and work to keep him alive. Whatever.

We talked about Bright's drawings, in general. She brought up the good point that Bright doesn't ground his drawings. His people rarely have legs (just a long center body) and they seem to float. He doesn't ground his houses or people with grass or earth. Instead, he surrounds them with clouds, as if they are flying. This indicates how Bright feels trapped. He wants to "get out" of the anxiety he feels. He wants to fly.

We talked about Bright's house. When she asked him to draw a house, I knew immediately that she would see something interesting about it. Bright's houses do not have doors. Sometimes they have a window, but never a door. If I ask him to draw a door, he will, but he never thinks to do it on his own. This represents the anxiety he feels in his world. He feels trapped. He feels insecure. He feels so, very, scared. Did you know that only 2% of children who are "healthy" (meaning no abuse or neglect or trauma) draw houses without doors?

I thought the information about his drawing was interesting, and the symbolism makes sense. I had not tied that together on my own, so I'm thankful for the Dr.'s expertise.

The Dr. did not speak about attachment issues to our other kids, which I thought was interesting. She felt pretty sure of that in earlier sessions, and I even came to agree with her observations on that.

The Dr. spoke about sensory issues. She feels he is sensory-seeking (but I do not). He isn't like Taevy that WAS sensory-seeking. He does seek out sensory input when he is feeling scared and anxious, but not as a general every day all day kind of thing. The Dr. fees sure there are some auditory processing issues. Yes, totally agree. I hadn't at all put this together before we saw her, but she has helped us to see several examples of how Bright struggles in this area. Fine. Sensory stuff. Been there, done that. Not scary.

The doc also makes mention of how I am Bright's grounding in this world. Me. Honestly, I never noticed it before going to therapy, but it's true. When she asked him a question, he looks at me. He always looks to me--to help him cope with a world that is overwhelming to him. I am his person. I am his safe thing. I AM a coping skill for him.

This is where it gets tough for me. When it comes time for the doc to give her over-all care plan. I'm expecting her to recommend therapy 1-3 times a week...give us some materials and exercises to help with sensory stuff, etc.. Instead, she says that she strongly believes Bright's IQ is probably in the "borderline to mild mental retardation" range. She guesses 70-80. She feels that until we know what sort of brain we are working with, we can't go forward with therapy. She has been doing this for lots of years and has worked with lots of kids, and is usually not wrong when she guesses low IQ (although she is careful to say she could be wrong). She says to let her know when we have all of the special needs testing back from the school.

That's it? No more help for Bright until we know how much his brain has been damaged by the neglect he suffered his first year? I'm sure she could see my eyes widen to saucers and my mouth drop open. I suddenly felt like I was trying to hold on to her while she was trying to make me let go. No! We need help! I sort of talked her in to seeing Bright once every two weeks until we knew about the cognitive/neuro side of things. She said she could help him with coping strategies. Okay. Better than nothing.

As we walked out of the building, I was holding Bright hand. He's smiling and looking up to me with joy--wallowing in the specialness of being out in the middle of the day by himself with mommy and daddy. He has no clue that my mind is spinning out of control with thoughts about his future.

Mental Retardation.
Cognitive Disability.
Neurological Damage.
Brain Damage.
Low IQ.
Educable Mentally Retarded.

I have always known that Bright likely had *some* brain damage from what he went through. But I didn't know that what he went through could "damage" him to the point of some of the labels above. The therapist even said something like, "Depending on what we find out, it could mean that we start focusing more on life skills in school and less on learning to read and do math." So now...now for the first time I am considering whether or not my son will be able to live independently as an adult? It took me for surprise.

Yesterday, after I took Eric back to work, Bright and I walked into our cool empty house. [The other three kids went to the zoo.] I cried. He smiled up at me and said, "You the best mommy in the whole world. Don't be sad mommy." I wish I had as much confidence in myself as he has in me. We took the opportunity of a cool, rainy, quiet day. We went upstairs and cuddled under the blankets for a warm comforting nap. Sometimes a good quilt and a good cuddle can make everything seem better.

I know that a doctor's guess does not equal definitive proof. I know she could be wrong. I know that Bright is the same boy today that he was yesterday, before something like "mildly mentally disabled" entered into my thought process. I know that we won't let a label define what he can accomplish in life. That doesn't make me less sad for him, or his biological family in Ghana. What do I tell them as he grows up and they ask how he is doing? How do I tell them that their attempts to keep him and the rest of the family alive has cost him so much? I guess those answers will come in good time.

I know LOTS of people who not only have mentally disabled children, but they sought them specifically to add to their family. I don't want any of my friends to think that, because I am sad about Bright, I in some way think they are crazy for adopting disabled kiddos. Not at all. The mental disability thing just isn't something that Eric and I knew we will be called to experience with our children. Ha! The Lord is always teaching me that He is the writer of my story, and I do not play the staring role--He does. I guess He has greater plans for me and my children than we could have ever imagined for ourselves.

One day, Bright will draw houses with doors. I believe it with every fiber of my being.

Love,
Anita

Need prayers.

2011-09-15T12:22:00.002-06:00

Prayers appreciated. Met with Bright's therapist today. Not what we were expecting (and I was open to a lot of things). I so want to check out for a while. In fact, I'm heading to my bed to do just that. I think my baby boy and I are due for a nice long nap--long enough for all the tears to dry up.

A comment on comments...

2011-09-14T15:20:00.003-06:00

For what it's worth, I've set comments to be umoderated again. I don't know what you all are experiencing, but I'm no longer able to comment on some blogs because of something to do with signing into google (or something). If anybody isn't able to comment on my blog please let me know and I'll try to fix it!

Praises, praises, praises...

2011-09-13T21:45:00.003-06:00

It may have something to do with the caffeinated Diet Coke I drank tonight (when I don't usually drink caffeine). It may be the over-abundance of good adoption news lately. Whatever it is, I feel like I will burst if I don't get some PRAISES out into the blogasphere!

1. Visas. Visas! Visas!!! There is absolutely no high higher than when a family is granted their child's visa. Actually, any good news related to visas is an absolute high. One of our families was granted their child's visa recently. They waited a long time for the referral and they waited a long time from court to visa issuance. I couldn't be more happy for them. Another two families got the BEST surprise when they were given visa appointments much more quickly than we anticipated. 1 or 2 weeks away is so much better than having to wait 1 or 2 months for the appointment!

2. Court! After a long dry summer, the past month has proven to be full of LIFE in Ghana adoptions. I can't tell you how thankful I am to know that SIX of the families I work with have passed court in the last month (and another handful on their way)! Just to know that six families have been created...wow.

3. Refund! We feel incredibly blessed to say that we received our IRS adoption tax credit over the weekend. We filed our taxes in February and we've been going through the verification process almost all adoptive families have been forced to go through in order to get their refund. Honestly, I am a crappy record-keeper. I had very few receipts from our travel. Thankfully, AAI sent our paid invoices for adoption expenses. I really didn't know if everything would match up and knew we didn't have any more "proof" to send. We were already lucky, because the refund wasn't being counted on to pay off an adoption or other important things. We would get it, or not. We got it. Since we weren't set on getting it, it was an extra special surprise!

4. Debt (or lack thereof). Since we got married, we have been in debt. Most of the debt was adoption-related (thanks to loans from a relative). Some of it was stupid credit card debt from when we were young and didn't know better. Some of it was essential credit card debt that went to pay for hospital/medical bills when Samren was so sick. For the past 5 years we have really been trying to pay our debt off. Earlier this year we paid off the family loan ($30K)! Whew--talk about a monkey off your back! We have been chipping away at the revolving debt and are now down to $4500. Between the tax credit and what we've been able to save, it looks like that debt will be paid off within the next few months. It also looks like within the next 6 or so months we will be able to pay off our car. Woo hoo! We will still have student loan debt, and a home-improvement loan to pay off (from the house we lived in 6 years ago!), but we are making progress.

5. School. While there have been some issues surrounding the program we chose for Taevy and Samren, over all, we've had such a great start to our school year! The little ones (and the rest of us) absolutely ADORE Calvert so far. They littles are basically both doing both years (pre-k and K), with modifications as necessary. It may just be that Kendi will get to jump ahead to 1st grade next year, or it may be that Bright needs an extra year to master Kinder concepts. The big ones are working diligently on their more basic curriculum in hopes that next year they will be totally caught up by end of year. All of us adore our little classroom. The best part of the day is our corny opening procedures! The Pledge...calender and weather..."daily news"...journal writing. It's great.

6. My husband's job. In an economy where so many have no job at all, my husband has a steady position that provides well for his family. He works very hard for us. Our goal has been that Eric would someday be able to provide fully for our family without my needing to make an income. That was impossible in the past, because of our debt. As we pay our debt, it's becoming more possible. It will be a wonderful day when we know I am working because I choose to, rather than because I must.

Recently he was asked to interview for another position, and was offered that position. While it's not the right fit, the experience as served to encourage him--to feel respected and appreciated for his talents. It also served to help him feel more appreciative of the job he does have. Isn't that awesome?!

7. Our home. Over the weekend we went to an open house...just because. We ended up in what would seem like the perfect house for us (of course!). An established older neighborhood with beautiful big trees for me. A house that had been taken down to the studs to the point that it was basically like new construction, for Eric. 3200 square feet with 4 bedrooms and a huge 2nd living space (aka classroom!) upstairs, for all of us. The perfect kitchen. Huge closets. A big deep bathtub. All at the amazingly low price of about 3 times the cost of our current house! We asked ourselves, "Did it feel twice as big as our house?" No. "Did it seem like it should be 3 times the price?" No. "Do we NEED all of those extra dream things?" No. "Would adding that huge debt feel good?" No.

By the end of the afternoon Eric and I were talking about all of the good things about our home. It's big enough (1800 sf). It has all the sleeping space we NEED. We have a ton of neighborhood support (should something ever happen to Eric). The mortgage is very comfortable, and would be easily paid off (if something ever happened to Eric). We have great access to the highway. Things could change, but instead of trying to figure out how we could sell our house and afford the "dream house," we ended up making a list of things we can do in this house to make it even more our home. For the past 6 years it feels like we've been living here without really knowing if this would be the forever house, or an interim house. We haven't painted. We haven't improved. We haven't even maintained it well, to be honest. We're ready to change that. We've already started with our recent classroom remodel and bedroom painting. With part of our tax refund we are going add some other things, and make this house even more of OUR home.

8. My job. I am a job-changer. I taught in public school for two years, then resigned to stay home with my kids. I worked in adoption for a few years, then resigned to be full time mommy again. I taught private early childhood music classes for a few years, and then resigned again. I have a constant struggle between mommyhood and career. For the first time in my life, I feel somewhat settled. My job is really emotionally draining some days (weeks), but for 4.5 years, the good has outweighed the bad. I have been able to keep my family as my #1 priority (which didn't happen the last time I worked in adoption). Nothing has been sacrificed. Well, I guess there are days here and there were the kids take a backseat, but not as a whole. I truly enjoy the families I get to work with. I don't know what it is. Is it that Ghana draws a certain type of family? Is it that AAI draws a certain time of family? There is *something* different.

Here are some character examples of the people I get to work with daily:

*Family organizes and hosts largest Ghana Adoptive Family gathering in the U.S., before they even have a referral.

*Families (plural!) VOLUNTEER to pay monthly foster care fees for their children, even though it is not required of them--just because they know funds are tight. What? Really?!

*Family hears of a mom in Ghana that needs career training. Plops down $500 IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR OWN ADOPTION EXPENSES to help the mom.

*Families write to ME to see how I am doing when there is bad news coming out of Ghana, when they are the ones who are in the middle of the process!

*Families write to express appreciation and thanks for the agency when fees go up!

*Family runs huge adoption auction for another adoptive family--raises $16k for the family!

I could go on and on and on, but you get the idea. How could I not feel privileged to do this work? And this is only the U.S. side. I won't even go into the amazingess of the folks I get to work with in Ghana.

Praises and blessings. Praises and blessings.

I don't want to put it out there like our life is all sunshine and roses. It's not. You all know about the challenges as well (since I write of them often)! There are times when this life feels completely overwhelming in the worst possible way. And there are times (like today) where I feel completely overwhelmed in the best possible way. I suppose that the bitter makes the sweet taste all the better.

Love,

Anita

P.S. The next time I'm on the low side, someone please remind me to go back and read this post again!

Baby Girl O

2011-09-11T20:54:00.002-06:00

I don't make it a regular habit to post about waiting children on my blog, but sometimes I really feel there is a need. Who knows...maybe there is someone out there that will happen across this post, and discover their daughter?

This is Baby Girl "O." She waits in Ghana. She waits for her family to discover her. She was abandoned in an orphanage earlier this year. When I met her I don't even think they had given her a name yet. I've given her "O" because that's the letter her orphanage starts with. It's a sad reality that some of the babies who are abandoned at this orphanage don't live. But Baby girl? She's a survivor.

I got to cuddle with little "O" during my visit to Ghana in June. She felt like a tiny 1-2 month old newborn to me--looked every bit the part as well. Somehow, the orphanage estimated her to be 7 months old. Honestly, 7 weeks seemed more accurate, but what do I know? At the time I met O she was squishy and warm and wiggly, like most young babies. She cooed, and her spit bubbled up in the cutest way possible. =-) Her hands were in fists, but she has a lifetime to learn how to open them. Her head seemed small to me, but she has a lifetime to overcome that as well. Her heart (her spirit, her soul) seemed completely normal--ready to give all the love she has.

Little O is developmentally delayed. There is no diagnosis. She may not even be taken for a medical until someone steps up and says, "Yes, I will make this child my daughter." When she does get a medical, a doctor who has never seen her before will look her over for a few minutes and then note any "irregularities" in her health. They may say "microcephaly" or "developmentally delayed" or "crossed eyes." We don't know.

Here's what we do know. Baby O needs a family! She NEEDS a family. She has people who can give her food, and change her diaper, and bath her each day. She does not have a single person who gives her the love that only a mommy and daddy can give. Nobody wakes up in the middle of the night just to feel her chest rising and falling. Nobody is trying to learn about her unique personality--to distinguish her "I am hungry" cry from her "I am in pain" cry.

It's not usual for such a young child to be available for adoption in Ghana. But because of Baby O's perceived special needs, she is eligible for international adoption. The staff at her orphanage aren't really sure if any American family would find "value" in Baby O. They aren't sure any family would ever love her enough to sacrifice the time and money required to adopt her. I know in my heart this isn't true. However, I also know in my heart that we must cast the net WIDE so that her adoptive parents can find her.

If we found a family that could move forward with paperwork and fees very quickly, Baby O could be legally adopted within the month! Within the month! That is so very quick for an international adoption. But if Baby O's family can't move forward that fast, that's okay. We just need to find them. Baby O's fees will be reduced (although there are still fees involved). Because of her special needs, families who don't fit within the normal Ghana requirements can apply to adopt her. Large families are fine!

If you aren't her family, can you do me a favor? Can you help me find them? Maybe you can re-post on your blog, or on facebook? Maybe you can send an email to your friends and family (who can send an email to theirs). Her family is out there. Together, we can find them.

Thanks,

Anita

School in a Box!

2011-09-09T23:57:00.002-06:00

Today there was much excitement in the house as FedEx rung the doorbell and we found a big HEAVY box waiting for, "Mr. Bright Gillispie." Ha! When you enroll in Calvert School you learn about "school in a box." Every year Calvert students look forward to receiving their box, full of all of the cool items they will need throughout the year. I thought it might be fun to start a tradition of having the kids take a picture sitting on their box. If they continue with Calvert (which we hope, if it's a good fit) it will be neat to see their bodies grow and the box stay the same size!
As you can see, we are not just talking about student books and teacher guides. We have everything from math manipulatives, to yarn, to pipe cleaners, to a pencil sharpener! In addition to the supplies and school books there are also around 30 story books that we will use with each one of 10 themes throughout the year. We will need to rearrange some things in our classroom so that I have adequate storage for all of this (x2, since Kendi's box comes Monday)! It is a great problem to have.

Although I haven't started teaching yet, I am extremely impressed with this company. From day 1 they have been professional, timely, and very communicative. The materials come with explicit directions for use. There will be no question how to use all of these things, and how to understand each part of the daily lessons. [This is something we can already tell is very lacking in the program we chose for the big kids.]

Having said all of these wonderful happy things about Calvert, I'm glad that we have only chosen it for the little ones this year. This program is going to take some getting used to. It will be MUCH more time-intensive than the more web-based programs we could have chosen. I feel like just doing it with the little ones this year will be a good way to get my feet wet. If I can handle it with them, then maybe next year the big ones can change over. We shall see. In the meantime, the box was certainly fun to open!

Love,
Anita

Two Years of Honeymoon!

2011-09-09T22:43:00.006-06:00

Here in the Gillispie house we are celebrating 2 years of living and loving Miss Kendi Mae! This is so cliche to say, but it's true that it seems like just yesterday and a lifetime ago, all at once. I was looking back at my September 2009 blog posts tonight and this one titled "No Tears" was meaningful to me. It's two years later and much of me still feels as if we are still living a honeymoon. This child completed our family. The contentment in my heart that her homecoming brought, will never be matched.The picture above was the first one I took of Eric and the kids after everybody left our homecoming party. Look how tiny (and bald) she was! I remember this little dress. It was 4t. I knew it would be big, but it was HUGE on her tiny 20 pound frame. I forgot how poochy her belly was then, but I hadn't forgotten that sullen look that she wore for about the first 48 hours we had her. That is classic Kendi to this day!The above photo is probably one of my favorite photos ever of my four kids. Aren't unposed photos the best? It says a lot--taken a few days after she came home. She is looking so confused. Bright is in his own little world, flipping around. Taevy is the princess, as always. Samren is in the back (as he often is) with his quiet thoughts. The sidewalk could be a symbol of the long lives they all have before them, and the many things they have all survived to get them to this point! I really should print and frame this photo.This photo made me smile. Now, Bright is wearing the shirt that Samren is wearing in this photo. Kendi still has this dress, but it now comes to her upper thigh.
I don't have a photo from this month or last of all four children together, but I did have this photo of Kendi and Bright. Back in September 2009 I imagined that they would be best friends. I thank the Lord that is exactly what has happened. Despite Bright's special needs, these two depend on each other for so much in life. Sometimes he is the big brother. Other times she plays the role of big sister. They teach each other how to navigate the world. I asked myself tonight if Kendi had changed much in the past two years. Even her pictures don't seem THAT different. She has put on a whopping (read sarcasm) 8 pounds in the last two years, and about 14 inches! She has grown about 1-2 inches of hair. She is still "the diva." She still cries (and stops crying) at the drop of a hat. She doesn't much care to play the role of "baby" in the house, although she will certainly use that to her advantage if it suits her! She is cunning and clever and witty and full of energy. She will run into a stranger's arms as quickly now as she did 2 years ago. We now know this is just her super loving (and possessive!) personality. She is a tiny package of personality! Concentrated. Yes, that's it. Whatever is usual in a child, just concentrate it and that is Kendi. She is extreme in her love, her anger, her successes, and her failures. When I first asked my friend Muna about 2.5 years ago what Kendi's (aka Mabel's) personality was like she sighed and said, "Oh, this Mabel!" And that's it! Ha! I can't tell you how many times a week I say, "Oh, this child!" She is something else, and I am so thankful that she is ours. The Lord has truly blessed us.

My dearest Kendi...Kendi Mae...Mabel...Mae-Mae...Lil' Bit... words will never suffice to express how thankful I am that you are in our family. September 2009, when I thank back on it, was one of the happiest months of my entire life. It is because truly, you completed us. You brought us to the end and the beginning, all at once.

Love,
Anita

En garde!

2011-09-09T21:51:00.006-06:00

Last Monday evening we got a notice about an "Introductory to Fencing" class that was starting the following day. We aren't typically ones to make last minute decisions on extra-curricular activities, but the class is only 4 weeks and is fairly inexpensive at $35. We figured it would be a good experience for the kids, if nothing else. Are the fencing uniforms too much, or what?! LOL! Since it's just an intro class it was first come, first serve on the things they had. As you can imagine, there aren't may folks Samren's size suiting up--and the helmets were HUGE!The class was for anybody of any age. I found it humorous that my little Sammy and Taevy were in line in front of a guy that must have been 6'3" or so.
They had a great turn-out (since I doubt our town is the hub of fencing in America)! It was actually pretty interesting. I really know nothing about it. The instructor explained a bit about the history of fencing as he explained the various terms (en garde, advance, retreat, foil, "french grip," etc.).
We always think it's neat to run into other adoptive families. In this class there were two Indian adoptees and two Asian adoptees. The Asian adoptees were actually the assistant instructors. I don't know if you can see in this picture, but one of the young gentleman only had on arm. Samren (who is also "different" because of his stature) found this so encouraging. He said, "See mom! People of all shapes and sizes can do fencing!" So true, little man.
Hmm....that's a pretty big sword (umm...foil) for a pretty little boy!

Can you see the focus in Samren's face?! Can you see the boredom in Taevy's face! Ha! He thought it was awesome. He was also pretty good. He has really fast little feet and was able to "advance" and "retreat" with very little bumping up and down (which is the goal). Taevy is wearing MY tennis shoes, which I think really impeded her ability to move properly! [They had to wear tennis shoes and her feet are growing so fast that she didn't have any that fit. She's a 7 and I'm an 8.5 so it was the best we could do.]

We have three more weeks of the intro class and then the kids can decide if they want to go to the "Beginning Foiling" class (which is 10 weeks and only $25 additional!). So far Samren is totaly hooked. Taevy says she will not be continuing. We'll see. The price is right, that's for sure! We checked on it and IF they decide to get more serious about it the start up kit is about $120. Sounds like a lot but if you compare it to the start up pads and stuff for something like football, it's actually less expensive. The folks at the local Fencing Club (who host the classes) were just great. They were so excited to see some young faces. You could especially see them warming up to Samren since he was SO serious about it! All in all, not a bad way to spend 1 hour a week.

En garde!
(Unfortunately, Samren is blocked in this video, but you can certainly see how bored Taevy is!)

P.S. Taevy, thank you for letting mommy post these pics! I know you weren't too thrilled about me posting them, but you look so cute and one day it will be a fun memory!

First Day of School

2011-09-08T11:08:00.002-06:00

We enjoyed our first day of school on Tuesday! The kids feel right at home in their classroom (pun intended)! Seriously though, they are eating up all of the little "beginning of the day" procedures we've put into place--like saying The Pledge, changing the date on the calender, etc.. The big kids like feeling like they are in "real" school (you know...as opposed to all the "fake" stuff we've done the last two years)!

We don't yet have all of the materials to begin fully. We're waiting on our box of supplies from Calvert for the little ones, and long in information for A+LS for the big ones. We're tired of waiting, but it's one of the concessions we have to make as Epic works out the bumps in getting started their first year. We have received 3 of the 4 laptop computers (which are very nice).
Until we have everything to get started on their actual curriculum, we have been doing filler activities. Lots of vocabulary, and math review with the big ones; pre-writing skills, alphabet hunts, and counting with the littles. [We're searching for "A" this week!]
Each day after lunch I've been having a lot of fun teaching them music. For some reason I've never done this with my kids. You'd think with a degree in music ed (specializing in early childhood music) this would be the last thing left off the schedule, but it's just....different, teaching my own kids. Still, it's pretty cool to see how much I remember. I've discovered that all of that teaching goodness is still inside of me, has just been waiting for me to pull up the file. The kids have especially enjoyed our music lessons. We've started basic, learning the difference between beat and rhythm and pitch, and practicing simple patterns in each of those areas.

I've learned the last three years of homeschooling not to try to set up a schedule from the beginning. These first weeks of school are about figuring out what works for us. By around the 6th week of school I figure we will have melded into a schedule that we can put in writing and start to really depend on. We're all looking forward to a great year in Pre-K, K, 3rd, and 5th grade!

Classroom--Finishing Touches

2011-09-05T11:50:00.004-06:00

Our classroom is finished--ready for the first day of school tomorrow! Here are some of the finishing touches...

My mom and I found this cute primitive schoolhouse (which is also a lamp) at our local antique/craft mall. I have ordered a Pledge of Allegiance primitive plaque that will go up on top of the armoire with it, once it gets here.Mom mom brought us this old book stand that was used at her school (when she used to be a school secretary). Isn't it lovely and perfect?! We'll use it for our checked out library books.

We have had this huge empty frame for years. It was white. Taevy painted it brown this weekend. We're going to use it as a place to post numbers 1-31 and to mark the month and day.

The alphabet cards turned out just has we had hoped. I like that we're using the big blank space of the window sort of like a bulletin board. We tried hanging them with mini clothes pins first, but they were hard to work with and the bottom flipped up. Mounting wax did the trick! We kept the clothes pins on for the look though. They add a little something.I love how the light pours in during the day. We can't open the blinds because of the alphabet cards, but we can pull them up half way (which is almost as good).
Our last big find this weekend was the chairs. I want to mix old and new in our room, so we were searching for old chairs to go with our new IKEA table. We found them--at the LAST booth of a HUGE craft/antique mall. It was a good lesson to my daughter, who was ready to go 3/4 of the way through. I actually said, "You just never know when the perfect thing might be at the very last booth." Wouldn't you know it? That's exactly what happened! $45 for all four (solid) antique chairs was exactly what we were hoping for.

Tomorrow a new school year begins, after much anticipation. With such a wonderful spot in the house to learn new things, I think we are all expecting it to be a great year! I know none of this was "need." It is an absolutely luxury that we were able to switch rooms around so we could have a learning space. And another luxury that we were able to spend the time and money required to make it something even more special. I so appreciate my husband for his hard work as he provides for our family.

Love,
Anita
P.S. Thank you mom, for helping us make this a special place.

This is our life...

2011-09-01T19:39:00.003-06:00

Last week (or was it the week before?) I was looking for a comfy chair to add to our home classroom--something I could sit in and teach from, or possibly do my work from while the kids were doing their work at the desk. We ended up at a place that buys furnishings from hotels. Have you seen these places? I think it's awesome! We ended up with a totally cush chair for $40. It was so good, in fact, that it is now in the living room and the glider that was in our living room is now in the classroom!

While we were there we noticed these rock solid armoires. They had an ebony-colored one with 3 awesome drawers on bottom. I was salivating at all of the storage those drawers would provide! Also, the thought of not having the big ugly TV staring me in the face every time I entered the classroom, was good. We couldn't buy it at the time. We waited a few weeks (or was it just a week?). We saved our pennies.

Today we went back and got the ebony armoire for a really good price. This thing is SOLID and HEAVY! You should have seen blind Eric and wimpy me trying to get this thing into our house. But we did it!

Just one problem. Our big ugly TV won't fit into the top of it! Seriously. We both plopped down on the floor and just stared at it for a good 10 minutes. We thought about cutting the top off. We thought about taking out the drawers and putting the TV in the bottom area. We thought, and thought, and thought. No way was a TV that is 28" tall going into a space that is only 24 inches tall. Plan B...plan B...we need a plan B.

When we did all of our room switching a few weeks ago we ended up with an extra little 19" TV that worked but had no remote. We gave it to the neighbor to sell in her garage sale. The huge ugly TV is so huge that Eric and I cannot get it up the stairs ourselves. For real, we would drop it. For this reason, it's not an option to take the huge ugly TV upstairs and switch it with our smaller/lighter TV.

In the end, we went over to our neighbor's porch and swiped our old 19" no remote TV back from her, and now we have this huge ugly 35 inch TV with no home. We can't even get the thing out the door on our own, so it's currently sitting outside the classroom. The old 19" TV is in the armoire. The ironic thing is that if I would have had the 19" TV in the classroom to begin with, I wouldn't have even felt the need to have the armoire! This is how things roll in our house.

Love,
Anita

From "dog vomit" to this!

2011-08-31T19:34:00.004-06:00

Just to refresh your memory, a week or so ago we were putting our classroom together and it looked something like this:Today I had a free day (no outside appointments) so I got up with a mind to finish the painting in the classroom. I had the "dog vomit" green and the bottom blue portion done. Today's chore included LOTS of taping--more taping than I ever want to do again in my life! Tape the bottom blue portion off. Tape off the top section so I could paint blue there. Use the laser level thingy and hope I was straight.Top blue section, done. Tape second line on bottom, preparing for a brown stripe.

One brown strip, done!
Tape second line for second brown line.
Done! The pic below is dark, but I love how the lines line up with the window.Our color scheme.Eric and the kids ripped off all the tape, swept and mopped the floors, and put the room back together again! [So thankful for that, as I am DONE after all that taping and painting on my own!]

Isn't it soothing? I could learn in this room! The goal was for our learning space not to be too over-stimulating. I won't be adding a ton of bright and colorful things to the wall.
All this, from a little storage container with an interesting color scheme!This weekend my parents will be coming to town to help us finish up our home-improvement projects. My step-dad and Eric will be on blind and ceiling fan duty upstairs while my mom and I get to decorate the classroom and go shopping for "old school" chairs and other fun additions. I love it anytime my mom comes to town, but especially when we have a good reason to go shopping together!! The hard work is done. Let the fun stuff begin!