The Talking Drum

For those that don't know, the "Talking Drum" originates in West Africa (both Ghana and Liberia claim it as their own!).

Tonight Eric and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary by going to a West African restaurant we recently discovered! It was really neat because it's not as if Jollaf Rice and Fufu are sold on every street corner in Tulsa, OK! I was excited to taste authentic W. African food. Much to my delight, I liked it!!! Well, I liked the Peri Peri Chicken (with spicy pepper sauce) and the Jollaf Rice. I didn't care as much for the fried plantain or spinach!

Mom, for what it's worth I think you'll do just fine with W. African food. It was really good and not as "foreign" tasting as you would expect.

Our summer has begun here in Tulsa. The kids are out of school and I have two more classes to teach before a 6 week break from classes. I'm looking forward to my last summer with Taevy and Samren before the babies come home and they start school full time. I think I will be a bit batty come August if both of my big kids are in school all day and the two babies aren't home from Ghana yet! How boring will that be?! =-)

Love, Anita

P.S. The flower picture is from our garden! The other picture is of T & S at the Arkansas River over Memorial Day weekend 2006.

Domestic Situation

Just a very quick update to thank you for your prayers and let you know that the baby available domestically wasn't a fit for us. The birthmom wants to baby to remain in Texas. =-)

Anita

Which two kids?

Hi all,

It's been an interesting few days--but a good few days. You all know that we are going through a pilot program for Ghana. There is no established expectation about what children are available, how long, etc. It's all a guessing game and we knew that going in.

It's become more clear recently that adopting an infant from Ghana may be a very long process. I mentioned before that Ghana has an active domestic adoption program where families usually want baby girls. It appears as though international families would have to be on the same waiting list as domestic Ghanaian families--which can be a wait of many months to a few years!

Since learning that information I've felt a bit uncomfortable. I believe that it's best for a child to be adopted within their home country if at all possible. Do I really want to "take" a baby girl away from a loving Ghanaian family? Hmmm.... That thought, coupled with the possibility that it could take a LONG time for a baby referral, has caused me to re-evaluate what our purpose really is in this adoption. I say "me" because you all know Eric--he's easy going and will be happy with whatever two kids we bring home!

All this to say, we're becoming more and more open to children that may not have originally been within our "requested" criteria. Our purpose is to adopt two children who need us as much as we need them. Does one of them have to be a baby girl for us to love that child? No! Does one of them even have to be a girl? No!

We've asked our agency (who happily agreed) to present us with all children they receive information on that are under 5 years old. If the Lord wants us to have a baby girl, we'll have a baby girl. If He doesn't, we won't. We feel perfectly comfortable allowing HIM to speak to us when we see our children's faces. Eric and I both have confidence that we will know our children when we see them.

A few more things...

Our agency director will be going to Ghana in July and has assured me that she WILL come home for referrals for us if we don't have them by then. Sounds good to me! I told her our prayer is that both children are home by Christmas and she said, "Oh my yes!" =-)

Finally, we heard of a baby girl born in Texas that is in need of an adoptive family. She is 8 weeks old and of Asian/African decent. They have no interested families for her, or the birthmom hasn't liked the profiles she has seen (not sure which). Anyway, we have left a message with the agency inquiring about this baby girl. Chances are nothing will come to this because her fees are too high or because we aren't the type of family the birthmom desires for her daughter, but Eric and I are open to whatever the Lord has in store. Why not check into it?!

Encouraging Words

I just want to thank those of you who have written me letting me know that you too see the Lord in all of this... that you agree that the Lord knew we would be dealing with adoptions and a kidney transplant at the same time. Your words bless me.

The Lord has also sent a few great quotes/prayers over the past week that I want to share with you. Sometimes I find myself trying to explain why I don't feel the Lord has necessarily always called us to the easiest path. My mom especially always hopes that the Lord only calls Eric and I to do easy things! LOVE YOU MOM!!! She just wants to protect her baby and I understand that. At any rate, here are a few words that blessed me this week, and speak to how my heart feels with regard to the things we go through in life.

"O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers, but give me powers equal to my tasks, for I want to be stretched by things too great for me.I want to grow through the greatness of my tasks,but I shall need your help for the growing."
--E. Stanley Jones

" Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proclaiming, "Wow, what a ride!!!"

I don't profess to be a "warrior to Christ" (although I aspire to be!). But how many warriors for Christ do you know of that had an easy path? How many martyrs played it safe? The most wise and Christ-like Christians I know are also the people I know who have gone through the most trials in their life. I believe that every trial is like fertilizer for my spiritual growth. Every challenge is an opportunity for me to stop leaning on my own understanding and instead to lean on my heavenly daddy--just like He wants me to.

I don't seek out trials, and I certainly have moments (sometimes days!) of feeling sorry for myself. Like all humans, I don't thrive on complications in life. But because of "complications" Eric and I have already gone through together I now recognize that there is blessing in the trial! How much did Eric and I learn when we went through his blindness and eye surgeries together? How much more did we learned when we went through Samren's terrible illness? With every trial it gets easier and easier to have faith that the Lord has it all in control.

Oh what an opportunity for growth we have!!! I honestly don't think there is anything more exhilirating in this world than stepping out into thin air and knowing that my God will catch me every time! Everytime that is, as long as I've done my best to be in the center of His will before I do the stepping!

Blessings to all.

Please Forgive My Absence!

Hi all. I'm so sorry not to have updated the blog lately. It has definitely been a roller coaster week (plus). May 11th was a particularly up-down day.

First the good news! We sent our completed dossier to the agency on May 11th in the morning. It felt great to have that huge step completed!

Second, the not so good news. On May 11th we also had Eric's kidney appointment. For those that don't know, right before we adopted Samren we found out that Eric's kidneys were beginning to fail and he would need a transplant in 3-5 years. However, he's been hovering around 40% function for the past two years so we haven't worried much about it. Of course, now that our dossier is complete, we get the news that Eric's Kidney function has dropped from around 40% to just about 20%.

This means that Eric needs a kidney transplant as soon as possible in order to avoid going on dialysis (3 appointments a week, 4 hours each appointment, and lots of side effects). Eric needs a transplant before he reaches 10% function in order to avoid dialysis. Please pray with our family that we find an appropriate donor very quickly and Eric's kidney transplant goes forward without dely. It is possible that the entire process could be completed in 3-5 months if everything goes perfectly.

I'm sure lots of you are wondering, "What about the adoptions?!" My mom's first reaction was that we should stop them. A few other people thought the same thing (even though we never asked!). =-) Nevertheless, we are going forward. Our God is a knowing God. He knew we were going to get this news, and he still chose to lay adoptions on our heart at this time. He still orchestrated for me to send that dossier BEFORE the kidney appointment on the 11th rather than waiting until AFTER the appointment. He knew....so we will continue to walk forward on faith.

What if the worst happens and Eric passes away? Folks, it's just part of our reality with Eric's health issues that we go down the "what if" road before any major decision. If I didn't feel like I could parent all four of our children myself, we wouldn't have gone forward with adoption. I hope my husband NEVER leaves me, but the possibility of that is part of our reality. We've taken the appropriate steps and IF the worst were to happen the children and I (all four children) would be alright financially. Please don't think I'm cold or morbid. The thought of Eric dying sends me into emotional turmoil, but I know that my God would carry me though it if it happened. Now let's stop thinking about it happening and pray that it doesn't!!!

Our final peice of news is that we got our immigration approval that will allow us to bring two kids into the US!!! YIPPEE!!!! Now we wait for that amazing phone call telling us who our new children will be.

Please join us in prayer for the following:

• That Eric would fly through the medical workup and be cleared for transplant.
• That a kidney donor is identified in record time.
• For the safety and well-being of both Eric and his donor during surgery.
• That the transplant occurs before our children from Ghana are home--or at least not while I'm traveling to pick them up!
• That Kendi and Caynan will be identified in Ghana soon! That they are healthy, and happy, and loved as they wait to be united with us.

Love to all, Anita

Who's in control?

Isn't it wonderful that Our Father has things in control? With so much happening, its natural to feel that things are spinning out of control, but God is there to encourage us, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11) This Ghana Adoption Journey has had some twists and turns, and I'm sure there will be more, even some paths that look like roadblocks. How wonderful to know that Our Father is there to lead the way, one step at a time, if we just trust Him and let Him lead. It's such a blessing to be part of the journey!

Great News!!!!

We just found out that our adoption is going to be over $3000 LESS than we were budgeting for!!! We assumed that the foreign fee was $3500 per child. But as it turns out it is $3500 for the first child and only $250 - $350 for each additional child (depending on if they are related). GOD IS SO GOOD, ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!

Moving right along!

Things are moving right along--actually more quickly than we had aniticpated! Our dossier is almost complete and will be in our agency's hands in less than a week. A few very special things happened to make that possible and I want to give God the glory publicly!

1. We have to redo our medical reports for our Ghana adoption (more specific information) and they also have to be notarized. I was worried that the notarization would cause problems because our doctor's office doesn't have a notary. But they are so great! They will take the document in person to the hospital, have it notarized, and will return it to us the same day! I know this is a little thing, but sometimes it's the little things that give us the most joy, right?!

2. We have been waiting since the day we decided to adopt from Ghana for our Social Worker to (literally!) change ONE word on our homestudy--from "Liberia" to "Ghana." As of yesterday she still wasn't ready to make the change and get 2 new copies notarized for us (said she is swamped). On a whim I called Lois (our agency director) today and ask if it was really a huge deal that we get our homestudy changed. In all other places on our hometsudy it says "Africa" or "African child". There is only one place that mentions "Liberia." Lois okayed us to send our homestudy as is so we no longer have to wait for our Social Worker to become "unswamped"! When I told our SW that she didn't need to do anything for us she was amazed that she had said "Africa" and "African" on the homestudy so many times, rather than "Liberia" and "Liberian." She's a Christian and said, "Anita, that must have been a God thing." I agree!

It's so fun getting to know people who are traveling down this Ghana journey with us. There is one other family that is just a bit ahead of us that will be adopting two or three 3-5 year olds. Our prayer is that we get to travel to Ghana together (with Lois) for the first round of adoptions. I also just "met" (online) another family who plans to adopt from Ghana with LVI. The neat this is that they live in Jopline, MO (a short drive) and are originally from Oklahoma! Hopefully we'll get to meet this family in person at some point in the future. I love being able to pray specifically for the families that are on this journey with us. The whole thing seems so much more real when you have people to go through it with.

Finally, I want to take a moment and brag on our agency directory--Lois Socrant. People, we should thank God that there are representatives like this working in international adoption. I feel with all of my heart that she is one of the "good guys" and it sometimes feels hard to find good guys in this "business." She has been so attentive to my questions and concerns. Today I approached her (via email) with some very difficult questions but she didn't take her time to formulate and "official" written response. She just picked up the phone and talked with me candidly about everything. She doesn't pretend to be perfect. She doesn't pretend that unplanned on things could happen during our process. That's exactly how all agency reps should be in my opinion. Who needs someone who is only going to blow sunshine up your skirt?!

More information about the babies...

Hello all! I'll tell you what, it will be very interesting to see how everything plays out with our Ghana adoptions. There's really no way to tell how it will go because we will be one of the first families to adopt through an agency in the country. At the same time, we are full of joyful anticipation! Having said that, we did get some more information about the children at OSU Children's Home. Evidently, many of them are *not* available for adoption. Some of them are living there on a short-term basis with the hope of being returned to their biological families in the future. Here is part of an email that our agency director sent out last week:

She said: "I asked our attorney in Ghana about all the babies that are in the pictures at the OSU Childen's Home. Here is his disappointing answer:

"Not all the kids at the Home are adoptable. the home also keeps children who belong to mothers serving terms in prison, those admitted to psychiatric hospitals etc. A few of them suffer some mental and physical disabilities and most prospective adopters do not want such children. some of the children may be there temporally under a care order."

The have also been questions about where babies are abandonded so I also asked our attorney his take on that:"when babies are abandoned at the hospital they are handed over to the Hospital welfare officer who hands the baby over to the Children's Home. It is common for babies to be abandoned in Hospitals. Babies can be abandoned at any other place. Any person who finds such a child is expected to send the child to the police and thence to the children home. The childrens home here are not the private orphanages but the State Residential Home for Orphaned children. for one reason or the other some abandoned children find themselves in private Orphanages."

I also asked about "The list" (waiting list for babies) his response:

"I hope this list I metioned is the prospective adoptors list. If so The Regional Directors of social welfare have the lists. You get on the list by applying for a baby from the department of social welfare and when the application is approved. most people apply for children age between 0-4 years. these children are usually not readily available especially girls."

So, more than ever we wonder how long it may take to receive the referrals of our children. Our hope is that because we want to adopt two children there may be a boy/girl sibling set just ready and waiting for us! Please pray that we are joined with our children at the perfect time, and that the Lord hold them safely in His hand until we can be united.