Honeymoon

I have no idea whether Kendi is having a honeymoon phase (time will tell) but I know I definitely feel as if I am on a honeymoon. You know...a trip where you are having the best time of your life and you never want to leave? Yep. That's how I feel.

I am the sort of person who has a long-range plan. When I was in middle school I knew what I would be when I grew up. I would be a teacher. Then I would get married. Then I would have kids and stay at home with them. And golly gee if it didn't pretty much happen that way!

Once we started having kids I always had 4 in my mind. When we had our first child I absolutely knew I MUST have #2. I did not want to have an only child. With two children my life could feel happy and great. And that was true. But I HOPED for 4. When we had #3 I felt awesome! Three kids! In fact, after we brought Bright home there was a period where I really thought, "This is great. I don't NEED anymore kids. I don't HAVE to have #4." We didn't know when/if there would be a #4, even though somewhere in my mind I still had thoughts of him/her. As time went on I knew in my heart that if there was a #4 it wouldn't be the type of thing where we started the process, waited for a referral, and adopted. I knew it would be the sort of thing where there would be a specific child the Lord showed to us. And that's how it happened.

And now she's here. And we are complete. THIS is a feeling I have never had before. Even during that time when I felt so content with my three children, I didn't have THIS feeling. This is on such a different level. That life I started planning when I was a 7th grader at Wilson Middle School has actually come to fruition! Of course I didn't know about the international adoption part, or the 3 countries part, or the hubby with diabetes and other health issues part. But the basics have all come to be.

I know that there are going to be bad days ahead. I know life isn't all peaches, especially not with two people who have chronic illnesses in the family. But I've learned through the last 11+ years of marriage and family-building that joy (or lack thereof) isn't determined by the unpleasant times in life. Joy is determined by the moments between the tough stuff. Joy happens between doctor's appointments and anxiety attacks! We don't have less joy because of the serious medical stuff we Gillispies deal with. Special needs don't detract from love (of children or husband). That's just "extra"--fat on a great cut of meat, that we work around so we can enjoy the good stuff.

I'm having a honeymoon. I'm living the good life. I'm blessed beyond measure. That doesn't mean that in a few weeks I won't be crying out for support when everything seems to be going wrong, but the big picture is amazing.

Anita