Saturday, December 05, 2009

So NOT Perfect (follow up)

Ha! Okay, I'm really glad I posted just a FEW of the not-so-perfect things around here yesterday. Judging from the comments, I needed to make that post. They were great comments, so I want to respond in a blog post. Don't usually do that, but I felt like it this time.

Jen said, " This is beautiful! I love it! Don't you feel better to have gotten it off your chest?When I make it through a day and feel like reliving the hard parts, I will have to do a post like this a I have my own confessions!!"

What's funny is I didn't feel like I was getting anything off my I was sharing secrets. If you ever came over you would TOTALLY see all this stuff. I just realized that I was painting a one-sided picture on the ol' blog. I would LOVE to see other "real mom" confession blogs!

Mo said, "I hope I did not stick my NOSE in.."

Mo, you cracked me up with that one! Thank for the advice on Bright. Thanks also to Sister Beta and Renee for commenting on that. Glad I posted, as I never gave much thought to it being a medical issue. Sister Beta, your thoughts are along the same lines as mine. However, Bright has been like this with the poop since he came home at 20 months, so I don't think it's something to do with having added a sibling. It may have actually gotten better since Kendi came home because SHE already poops in the potty! But control, definitely. I also think it may have to do with anxiety. Bright couldn't speak to other people for the first 18 months (or so) that he was home. High anxiety. He still clams up around other people sometimes. I've wondered if when he is upstairs, relaxed and in a "go to sleep" environment he can relax and "let it go."

Sister Beta, reading your blog religiously and praying for the day when you and future hubby are united FOREVER!!! What you're going through has got to be, in some ways, similar to what adoptive parents go through waiting for their children to be united with them.

Chanda said, "There simply just are not enough hours in the day to do EVERYTHING. And even if there were...would you want to spend all your time cleaning and making your house look perfect if it meant spending less quality time with your kids (or your husband)? "

Amen to that! Or at least that's the excuse I will use!!!

FullPlateMom said, "Thank God! I thought I was the only one who endured what we have affectionately entitled "big Ghanaian fits" (not because Ghanaians are thrown to fits, but because that is what our little Bubbly did in Ghana. ALL THE TIME). They were probably 50 times per day at the beginning. Now, after nearly 6 months, it is down to 1-2 a week."

Girl! Oh no! I think a LOT of us deal with Ghanaian fits, but our two girls do seem like two peas in a pod! Just so you know, your blog is what made me think about needing to do this post, because you have a way of painting a picture of exactly how it is with your posts. No frosting!

Story Of My Life said, "I don't even know where our decorations are. I was wondering if my kids would even notice we didn't have a tree this year."

Oh, that totally cracked me up. My kids are totally baffled that our tree is still naked. No way was Taevy letting me go too long without the decorations. She got them out last Sunday while I was "busy" taking a Sunday nap! Here it is almost a week later and she is still enduring no lights on the tree. Every day they beg, "Mommy, PLEASE put up the lights!" (so they can hang the ornaments. It's 1:15am now, but I've got to get that done before bed so they will be proud of the 'ol mommy in the morning!

Renee said, "-Big Kids love to shepherd little ones here too.."

Renee, you are the mommy I want to be when I grow up, so it means a LOT to me to hear you say that! And I *LOVE* the way you put it. I didn't go into it last night on my blog, but I really do expect a lot out of my kids. Even if I was perfect and could do everything on my own I just wouldn't want to because I really believe that they learn so much when they care for each other. Of course there is a limit, but I love to see them teaching one another. Taevy has modeled that so well. When Samren became a big brother, I heard her in his voice as he got used to being big brother to Bright. Now it's Bright that is the big brother, and I hear him modeling Samren's little caring sayings to Kendi. I think it's beautiful. And everybody working together makes our family work much better!

I was telling Eric about my blog post last night, and about all of your comments. He said I should tell all of you that, basically, we are like the family on that new comedy "The Middle." LOL! Probably not QUITE to that level, but let's just say we REALLY identify with the family on that show!



Jen 2:42 AM  

Good follow up... you had some good responses in your original post that I had not gone back to look at...

I loved Renee's description of all the noise being called Joy! Sometimes it is and sometimes I wouldn't quite use that word. Maybe I will respond better when I am frustrated if I tell myself it is joyful before I ask them to turn it down a notch! I am going to give that a try!

Also forgot in original post to mention the bowel thing. We had a child who would have night time potty accidents especially when stressed with change (school starting, sibling coming home). When it lasted longer that I expected, doc asked about bowel and if she only went less frequently and if she was constipated more often and said that is what was causing the wetting because of the extra pressure on bladder- it made her urinate more often and she went smaller amounts because of it. She recommended some over the counter powder to give her but child did not like and had fits so I just monitored the situation and we were able to get through it by me slightly adjusting the diet and encouraging her to try to have bowel movement more often. Probably TMI but point is, it may be worth asking doc about it.

whenpigsfly 9:12 AM  

LOVED that post!! I was too busy in my own Castle of Joy to read much yesterday, and no , our tree is not up yet either. The old one died, and I am not ready to spend the $$ for the one I want, but don't want to buy a real one particularly because my hands can't touch pine stuff....allergies...We LOVE real trees, but we love the ease of pre-lit too.
My dad was #7 of 8 and his memories of growing up are so totally different from his oldest brother Ken who was the second born. Don't know if I can state a thery here, but the grumpier ones of the family, the ones who, like my dad seem to have few memeories of fun, laughter, music, noise, all died young. I mean like 68, My Uncle Ken just turned 90 this summer. He calls me to check in and to tell me how much like his own childhood house ours is: FULL OF LOVE, FULL OF NOISE and ACTIVITY. MY dad would visit and tell me about the mess he saw. his memories are of his house being very quiet and orderly. My oldest aunt is 89 and she still shoots pool Ken lives on his own, chops his own wood in northern Pa, Ruth lives i nan assisted living facility in Florida but still shoots pool regularly. I knew them all, and yes, the grumpier ones died first. My point is that , like you, I tend to hear my kids ask "who's coming over?" if I say "Let's get this swept and tidied" (not always, but , yah.....) and its OK. We will never win Better Home and Gardens awards for efficiency or smooth running order, or amazingly awesome storage use. WE are loud , we are full of fun, the girls love to sit on the island in the kitchen when we cook together, the kids do rip stick around in the dining room, I do wash "high 5" marks off the portion of wall above the doorways because my basketball playing boys can not avoid a temptation to slam dunk -slap that high spot. I decided a long time ago that I could be comfortable with some mess or clutter and not miss a basketball game, gym meet, play or hang out together time. When we clean we usually do it all togeher anyhow. Maybe coz I have known you for so long I never felt like you were keeping part of you back or only telling part of your story when blogging. I think that I have just put the what I have seen and heard together with what I read and it all just fits Anita, really it does. I love that our kids love to come to Auntie Linda's house because Y'all are always welcome!!!