Monday, March 06, 2006

Dark Words

In May 2004 I woke up in the middle of the night with words streaming out of my consciousness. Sometimes this happens to me, and I don't know why. What I know is that I am not THINKING about the words. They pour of me like water. I don't know what they will say until the flow of words stop and then I look at what was written. That May night in 2004 these are the words that poured out of me.


In home, with family.
Loved ones near.
Then trouble.
Then wind. Hot wind.
Fire! Gunfire!

Running from home.
Husband and Son left behind.
Daughter, precious daughter, still held close.

Walking in bare feet.
Passing loved ones who are no more.
Covering Daughter’s eyes to protect her from the horror.

Walking, tired and hungry.
Daughter cries in hunger.
Mother’s heart breaks.

A friend!
No, two friends! A piece of home.
One friend, very sick.
Both friends, very old.
All walk together, tired and hungry.

A hospital.
Must find hospital for Sick Friend.
A doctor, a healer, someone to help him.
Sick Friend falls to the ground.
Mother and Old Friend carry him.
Daughter follows behind, alone.

A hospital found!
Someone to help!
A place that can save.

Too late for Doctor.
Sick Friend, no more.

Too late for help.
Hospital, no medicine
Few doctors.

Too late for food.
None here for days.

Too late for water.
Pump, destroyed by The Hateful.

AIDS everywhere.
Even Old Friend, dying the slow death.

Must leave Hospital.
AIDS is everywhere.
Must protect Daughter!

Too late. Again.
Daughter frolics, steps on IV needle.
Dirty needle, through Daughter’s tiny foot.
Her blood, mixed with AIDS.

Falls to her knees.
Cries to God.
“Why God?” “Why is the world like this?”

Daughter, precious Daughter, dying the slow death.

Opens eyes.
In soft bed.
Husband beside her.
Down the hall, children sleep soundly.
Family, SAFE!

“Thank you God that it was a dream.”
Loved ones, near.
Home, safe.
Everyone, safe.

Soul awakes!
Heart awakes.
Nightmare is real.
Real to other mothers in the world.
Real to other children in the world.

Mother begins the journey.
Walks toward Other Mothers.
Other Mothers, whose reality IS her nightmare.
Must help.

Someone to help.
Someone with food.
Someone with water.Someone that can save.
I didn't know it then, but I now believe this was God's first hint of our future children in Africa. I didn't know where the dream took place at the time--only that the people were very dark-skinned. It blesses me to know that even before *I* knew we had children in Africa, the Lord was paving a way in my heart for them to come home.