Monday, September 11, 2006

Full Circle?

At the beginning of February, maybe the day after Eric said we could go forward with another adoption (??) I was out shopping for the baby that I imagined we would adopt. I didn't know if it would be a boy or a girl, but I knew that SURELY the baby wouldn't be bigger than 6/9 month clothes when he/she came home. So I splurged and went to Babies R Us (a very dangerous place for me to be even if I'm not "expecting)! I bought two of the most adorable little outfits on winter clearance, but still paid more for them than I would normally pay for kids' clothes. I tried to tell myself they were gender neutral, but really they were boy's outfits--I just liked them enough to put them on a girl if that's what we got. =-)

As time went on, and we changed from Liberia to Ghana I felt my hopes of a baby slipping away. But that was okay. The Lord really did change my heart and I couldn't have been happier to be adopting two three year olds when we were expecting Juliet and Emmanuel to become our children--truly! However, it was a sad day when I went to "the baby's" closet and packed away the many outfits I had purchased the first few months that we were paperchasing. The only time I cried was when I had to pack away those first two outfits I had bought for our hoped-for baby. I had envisioned our baby in those outfits so many times. They were my items to hold on to--to remind me that there will be a real child at the end of all of the bureaucracy and red tape.

Today, for whatever reason, I thought about those outfits again. My heart soared as I envisioned our little Bright wearing them!!! I don't know anything about his size yet but he looks very tiny. I can't imagine that they would be too big on him. Better yet, they are both winter outfits (most of the outfits I bought were summer outfits because I thought we would have a baby home by summer). I know it's a small thing, but I can't tell you the joy it would give me to put those little outfits on our Bright. It would be like the Lord has really brought us full circle. The picture above was taken when I first bought the outfits and took a pic of them to email to my mom. Right now they are still packed away in a box upstairs. I can't bring myself to start physically preparing our home for Brighton yet. There are still too many unknowns and I don't think I can take another bought of packing things away for a child that never came home. [Still in the process of doing that for Juliet and Emmanuel and it sucks.]

Seems like I'm always asking you all to "pray with me that..." but I'm going to do it again. Can't hurt, right? Please pray with me that Brighton comes home to us, and even that he fits into those two beautiful outfits. =-)


P.S. Trying to post this via a new method--directly from email. This will benefit you all because I can actually use spell check on my email without it screwing up the formatting! LOL!