Sunday, June 14, 2009

Day 3: Mixed Up Day

After my Kendi "high" from yesterday, today was a bit of a downer (as far as my personal adoption stuff goes). It was the day we moved Eban House from one house to the other. A very busy and chaotic day. The result was that I didn't really get to spend much time with Kendi. It's hard sometimes, to be both AAI staff and an AAI mommy. Sometimes I wish I could just steal her away and spend hours on end just the two of us. But it is what it is. Thankfully, I will get to spend the rest of my life with her.

As much as I would like to be a special person in Kendi's life, I really am not yet. I'm just another obruni that has come to visit Eban House. I really think she thinks my NAME is mommy. All of this is fine for now. There's no "right" when it comes to this stuff. Some kids figure out the parent thing pretty quickly and others don't. Bright hated me for a week and has clung onto me for dear life ever since. I'm his person. Kendi has liked me from day one, but I'm no more or less special to her than any other person. All she knows of white people is they come and go.

Since I don't have a particularly special place in her heart (yet!) she doesn't feel any need to be around me all the time. She's got 20 other adults and 30 other kids at Eban that ALL love her and give her attention. My major role today was to help care for the babies. It was fun, but I was sort of stuck in my spot--rocking or feeding or interacting in some other way. Kendi wafted in and out as she pleased. Sometimes she would join the other babies for a bit and ignore me completely. Other times she came up with a smile on her face yelling "Mommy!" because she wanted to be picked up. But most of the day it was me looking at my daughter from afar...hoping she'd come to me and want to interact with her person even if she doesn't know that I am that to her yet! One high point was that a bottle was brought out for her to drink and I got to feed it to her. I'm told that Kendi really doesn't want to give up the bottle. I don't see that as a bad thing in this case because (1) Kendi can use all the calaries she can get and (2) Kendi's need to suckle and nurse as a young infant probably was not met. So...I say let her regress and enjoy the satisfaction she gets from suckling a bottle.

Kendi did give me a "love spot" today. Sounds better than it was! She has picked up a big nut and screw. Then she hit it square in the middle of my nose! OUCH!!! In this particular instance she wasn't trying to hurt me. But it hurt! I didn't know until I got back to the hotel how close she has been to breaking my nose open!! As it is's just s bruice/alsmost cut right on the bridge of my nows. Ornery child!

Despite having a day where I felt like a tiny blip on Kendi's radar, it was a good day. There were very sweet momments. I took the opportunity to observe how kendi is with all of our aunties and the other children. You can learn a lot by sitting and watching. Today, I learned that Kendi likes to give other kids a hard time. Example: Child is eating the food well. Kendi walks up and standing right next to the eating child. CLoser and closer she'll go, until the children says something like, "What? Get your own food. Go!" Kendi just thinks that's the funniest thing ever. You can ask her (while she' halking down her next victim "Do you want to eat?" "NO!" "Do you want to take the bowl?" "No! Ornery child!


Jen 11:30 AM  

Selina was so spoiled too. I thought it was a good thing because after a difficult time she was in a place where it was all about her. I LOVED watching her because she figured it out and worked it. She would go up to another kid and do something to them and then she would fuss. Then she watched as the other kid got in trouble because obviously they must have done something to Selina!! I would just tell the aunties, "It is okay, they did nothing wrong to Selina" as she moved on to her next victim while the child looked at me with a look of thankfulness that someone understood what she was up to!! Selina is spunky and fun and keeps me on my toes, it can be tiring but I love that about her! I wonder if Miss Kendi will be the same way?!!