Sunday, December 18, 2011

Trying...

I'm trying to keep my joy, knowing joy comes only from the Lord. I lost my Uncle Jim a few days ago. We thought he had made it. We thought the surgery was successful. It wasn't. In my heart I can feel happy for him knowing that is suffering is no more; but I am struggling. This is as hard as the death of my father, for reasons I may go into on another day. At the same time, I am "only" a niece, and feel that I don't have a right to grieve like this. I feel guilty for feeling this sad. His children, his wife, his siblings....they are the ones who have the traditional "right" to grieve him. He was "only" my uncle. Except that he wasn't.


Life goes on. There will be joy in the coming days as we celebrate the birth of our Savior. Real joy. Happiness? Not yet.


Anita

3 comments:

Cora 11:00 PM  

No one is 'only' a family member if they were loved. Grieve the way you need, it is so hard to lose someone and this time of year where everything is supposed to be so happy sometimes makes it harder to be able to grieve. My heart goes out to you, truly take care.

Cora

Jess 11:10 PM  

love and prayers...

Mama D.'s Dozen 11:25 PM  

I have an aunt, that I know I will feel the same way about when she is gone.

You have every right to grieve the loss of someone you love.


Laurel