Wednesday, July 19, 2006

News from our agency...

On Monday I was feeling very discouraged about the possibility of us receiving a baby boy referral from Ghana. So I did something I try not to do and wrote our agency director a sobbing about how I was feeling and asking her to be completely honest with us about whether or not babies would be available.

Her response was NOT what I was hoping for, but I so appreciate her forthrightness. Right now it doesn't look like babies will be available from Ghana. There are still some possibilities, but certainly they aren't probabilities. She asked us to give her 5 or 6 weeks (which is when she will be back home from Ghana) to get everything straightened out so that she can give us definite answers.

The news sent me into a tailspin emotionally. And it REALLY frustrated Eric! He went to bed that night ready to no adopt, or to only adopt Kendi. He was frustrated by the thought of changing courses because he is so big on ONLY ONE ADOPTION TRIP and he said he had a "sick feeling in his gut" when he thinks of all of the fees with adoption. He feels like almost all the time someone is pocketing lots of cash (note: He does NOT feel like that about our Ghana adoption which is very transparent and inexpensive compared to most countries!).

If you know me you know there was NO way I would be able to sleep after news like that. So I stayed up until 3:30am trying to research our options and wrap my brain around this news. After I got off of the computer I lay down to pray. Oh how I begged the Lord to speak to me--to give me big open answers! But in His wisdom He only gave me one word. "WAIT." Wait. The thing I am probably the least good at in the world!

There were a few things that I felt like we were released by the Lord to look into further, as long as Eric felt the same way. Read more about that in the next post...