It is truly amazing to me how quickly one (umm...this one) can go from feeling pretty okay about things to feeling blue again. In one day--poof! I feel down in the dumps again. I don't think this is going to be like the last episode that lasted for 2-3 weeks but I don't like feeling this way.
What's amazing to me is how much my state of mind depends on how "in tune" I feel with what's going on in our adoption. The more I know, the more held-together I am (even if the news isn't all that good). I know that I'm feeling blue right now because of three things.
1. Bright turned 14 months old yesterday. This is wonderful (because he's living) but also sad (because my "baby" is going to be a toddler by the time he's home).
2. We've been waiting for Bright to come home for 3 months already, and it will probably be another month (at least) before the application for his adoption is even filed. It makes me sad when I think about how we thought he might be home for Christmas, and now he probably won't even be home for Easter or Mother's Day.
3. I have no patience! I wrote to Lois with lots of questions on Sunday afternoon and still haven't heard back from her. Now, I asked her very detailed questions--not the type she could just reply immediately to--but I'm still in that "check the email every 30 seconds" phase of waiting for her reply. I know she's so busy and I've been very lucky with quick responses lately when others have had to wait. I will just feel very unsettled until I hear back from her.
I'm not worried about anything. I know God has it all in control. I'm just missing my baby tonight. =-(