Sunday, January 14, 2007

Stupid Anticipation! Urgh! =-)

I am thoroughly convinced that being iced-in for a 3 day weekend is NOT good for waiting adoptive parents--at least not this one! It gives me way too much time to think about Bright--how much I wish he were here to hear the ice pellets hitting the windows, or to experience sliding across the yard like it were an ice-skating rink, or simple to snuggle up with the rest of us on the couch while we watch family-friendly movies. Yep--all this time makes me miss my sweet baby that much more.

Another thing bringing "all thoughts Ghana/Bright" back to the forefront of my mind is the talk I had with Lois on Friday. It was so good to hear that the Director of Social Welfare seems to be very motivated to get our adoptions done. Really! But it's bringing up a side effect that I haven't felt in a while--anticipation!

How dare I have thoughts of traveling in April to get Bright? That's so dangerous! My self-set summer deadline feels much "safer." I just don't know why I seem to always get myself all worked up and excited even though I should KNOW better by now! This is Africa! This is "Ghana Time!" It seems rediculous to think that we could travel for Bright in April. Nevertheless that is what my stupid hopeful heart has started praying for. My pessimistic brain knows that I've probably just set myself up for another disappointment, but my optimistic heart can't help itself. The talk of the DSW being so motivated put the thought in my head and now it's stuck there. So my prayers will be for April and you all will have to pick me up off the ground if it doesn't happen, okay? =-)

Iced over in Tulsa, OK
Anita

1 comments:

Christina 12:01 AM  

I had the worst time with that... setting my heart on the "ideal" timeline when I knew it wasn't very realistic ... but where would we be without hope? I'll be praying for April with you. :)