Sunday, April 15, 2007

Travel Journal: Sunday, 3-18-07

The morning started nice, as Edward and his family came to pick me up for church. They all looked so precious in their matching outfits! Church was good--similar to our church back home. After church the pastor prayed over Bright and I, completely with the traditional "anointing of oil" on our heads. So...this works out on an African head, but the after effects of a tablespoon of vegetable oil running down a Caucasian head looks horrid! LOL! Nevertheless, what a blessing to be prayed over.
I'm back home from church now and feeling pretty discouraged. Lois has decided she will be coming to Ghana next Saturday and once here she will require Edward for the next 10 days. Ironically it's the week Lois is here that I will need to be in the heat of adoptions stuff. I know she has many reasons for coming (lots of issues to deal with in the program) but I feel like one of those reasons is probably to make it more difficult for me to bring Bright home.

Not once has she said she hopes it works out. And she hasn't provided any support on how I should go about the embassy stuff. I have a feeling her other clients will have much preparation before going. I was already on my own but now she has taken Edward (my moral support) as well. I had given up on her trying to help me bring Bright home, but I didn't expect her to do something that would make it harder.

Again--I KNOW it's not about me (except she can keep closer watch on me)--I just think it's a bonus to her that her coming makes things more difficult for me. She didn't want Edward doing stuff for me so this way she can make sure he doesn't.

I'm trying hard to focus on my God--that He is bigger than any enemy formed against me. He is bigger than the details. Lois has no power over me unless I give it to her by remaining angry and bitter. I wish I could just spend the day in prayer trying to get right with everything in my heart--pray away the anger and fear and bitterness and replace it with the comfort and hope I KNOW the Lord wants me to have right now. Please God--help me to be the servant you want me to be.

*Post trip note: Although Edward was unavailable to me during the time Lois was there, she did "allow" him to take me to the airport when I left and the one time we did talk she was cordial. Remember, the above was written in a very emotional state! A pity party may have been in progress! LOL!

8:39pm-- Ever since I first got here we have driven past a certain shop named Isaiah 40:31. "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." How amazing it is that God talks as personally here as He does when I am at home, and that He used a verse from Isaiah (Bright's middle name) to do it. So...I do feel a sense of renewal tonight. My hope is in HIM--not Lois or Edward or the Embassy--but in my God.

These trials with LVI and/or the embassy are short-term trials. God, I think, tends to work more long term. I know there will come a time soon that I won't have to think about LVI or the embassy anymore (at least not with respect to our own adoption). I've got to keep my eyes on the end goal here--to add Bright to our family. That's going to happen. It's just a matter of time.

Today Bright and I had an amazing day! Not once today did he have a fit (except for typical little toddler whines because he wanted something he couldn't have). He was happy and content today--even playing alone on our bed for quite a while. Today he laughed over and over again...played peek-a-boo, played "atu" (hug)...danced...shared food with me...chewed on my fingers and put his fingers in my mouth for me to chew on...and he kissed me! I was feeding him oatmeal and he pulled my face down to his. I didn't realize what was happening until he had planted a big oaty kiss right on my lips! Throughout the day he probably initiated 50 more kisses, and received mine happily.

I had him most of the time but when I did give him up he was always glad to come back to me. In fact, at church today he cuddled into me with Ghanaian strangers tried to hold him or talk to him! I feel like we have finally made some strides to the point that he won't go back to hating me. I know we have a long way to go, but it's so much easier to do this when I get just a few smiles and laughs!

Today Paul, Lawrencia, the boys, Isaac and I all went out to the land they bought to build the orphanage on. It's nice--good area. I hope they can begin to build on it soon.

I bought a puppy for the kids today! It was Paul's spur of the moment idea but I offered to pay ($12). He's really cute and the kids love him. They named him Jack!

Al of the kids here are so special. Even though most of them are 8 and older I truly believe they will do well in families. There are only a few that I have concerns might have ongoing issues, but I have high hopes even for them. All of the kids dream of being part of a family in America. I pray they will be soon.


Anonymous 11:46 AM  

Anita, can you email me your email? I would like some info on Hands of Mercy. c j

Thanks, Charity Marek
Another Cambodian mommy