Saturday, November 17, 2007

Beautifully Written

My friend Chanda wrote the most amazing post. Please check it out.

One of the things Chanda touches on (it's not the biggest point in her post) is that she doesn't consider her newly adopted sons to have been "meant to be" in her family. If they were meant to be her her sons, then that would mean God wanted them to lose their original families. [I'm totally chopping her thoughts to peices--you've really got to step over there and read it.] I've never thought about it the way she does.

I have said many times throughout the years that I believe my children were meant to be my children. And I do...in a weird cosmic "this isn't the best case scenario for you but I'll step in if God wills it" sort of way.

What do you think? Are our kids through adoption "meant to be" our kids?

Anita

7 comments:

Jim & Laurel 3:47 AM  

While I agree with Chanda that God's original design would be for children to be raised by their birth families, God knew before these children were even born that their families were not going to be able to care for them. So, he hand-picked each of our families to raise these precious ones from 1/2 a world away.

Sooo .... you're both right. :)

Laurel

Michelle 8:27 AM  

This is the age old predeterminations vs free will debate! I feel so lucky to raise my son and I feel so sad for what he has lost. I believe things happen and the plan for everyone is dynamic and ever changing. In the end you have to have faith that if you live your life being the best person you can be - things will turn out the best way possible with maximum happiness for all those you love. So I hedged....is my son meant to be here instead of in Kyrgyzstan...I guess I think it doesn't matter. He is with me now and I feel so lucky and feel luckier everyday that I have this wonderfull son to love. Maybe that makes me fall more on the free will side of the debate!

Becky & Nick 1:01 PM  

Maybe it isn't about whether or not our child is meant to be with us. Maybe instead it is about some of us being meant to adopt. Or meant to be available when someone-who in the end becomes our child-needed us most.

Nicki Mann 8:28 PM  

I think adopted children are "Meant to be" in our families, the same way my very best friend and her three children were MEANT to be part of my extended family, and my two little girls were MEANT to be in my life, and even my beautiful dog was MEANT to be my dog.
Life is what it is. Your children's lives, and your life, would have been an entirely different experience if they had been born to you.

Sue 8:28 PM  

As a believer in Christ, I whole heartedly agree with Laurel's comment.

God knows everything about our lives and what will or will ot happen.

Our children are coming from unfortunate circumstances, but He is the orchestrator of all that is good and He knows where He wants these children when the original family is not a possibility.

So you can say your children are meant to be with you, because that is where God unltimately placed them.

Sue

Renee 10:09 PM  

What a wonderfully heartfelt post by Chanda.

I agree with her response to people who believe or assume that our children are better off with us than with their birth families.

People often say "They are so lucky" or "They are so blessed" about our sons from Ethiopia when actually we are the ones who have been blessed beyond what I can even describe to be entrusted to these precious children.

I am afraid a lot of it stems from the fact that many people believe that financial prosperity = a better life and more opportunities. People of all walks and incomes love their children. A family who lives in stark poverty loves their children as much as I love mine. It would be as wrong of me to insist that I could give that child a better life as it would be for Bill Gates to believe my children could have a better life if adopted by him.

I believe that it was not God's will for our children to lose their birth family just as it was not His will for Adam and Eve to sin in the garden. We live in a fallen world, and much happens that must deeply grieve the heart of our Father.

I do believe that just as He did with Joseph God is going to take what is meant as evil and use it for good in the lives of our boys. He has and will restore the years the locusts have eaten.

I do know that God in His sovereignty purposely placed our children into this family. I firmly believe that there are NO accidental adoptions. There is so much that can happen or go wrong in an adoption that I know each adoption is a miracle just as is the birth of a child. It is no accident or coincidence that these children with their personalities, strengths, and weaknesses were put into our home.

These are wonderful and thought provoking posts.

Thank you Chanda and Anita!

Chuck and Jenny 10:49 PM  

Well, what I was going to say doesn't sound nearly as good as Renee put it, so I'll just say this: Yeah, what she said. :) Exactly.