Ramblings

Two weeks and 3 days before I head off to Ghana, where part of me always remains between trips. It's funny...the adoptive mom things. There are parts of me all over the world now. Cambodia, Vietnam, Ghana, and even Haiti (where we never adopted from but first knew without a doubt that skin color and love had nothing to do with one another).

Now that the particulars of my trip are starting to settle down a bit I've had the time to think of the less exciting aspects of the trip--leaving my family for 2 weeks. Not fun! I won't know for sure until I'm going through it, but it seems that this trip will be more difficult than the others because I won't have a loved one to keep me company. My other trips I was taking care of Bright and had him to keep me enamoured during long nights in the hotel. This trip I will be alone. I have a feeling that it will be very difficult emotionally. It's Bright's first time away from me since we brought him home in June. Eric and I both wonder which way he will greet me upon my return. Will it be the classic "run-to-mommy-with-both-hands-outstretched" scene, or will it be the "I'm mad at you. No hugs for you!" I'm certainly hoping for the first, but there is no telling with Brighto!

I will say this will by far be the most busy trip I've had. You would think my last trip, where we setup Eban House, bought everything needed for the home, and I also complete Bright's adoption process, would be busy enough. But no! This trip I'm up to visiting 5 different regions (1 just added yesterday) and 5-7 different orphanages. Maybe I'll be so busy that there will be no time to focus on how much I miss the kids and Eric? One can only hope.

I was hoping to do just a bit of shopping for myself on my last day in Ghana. I'll be staying in Osu area of Accra (at Ghelabon Guesthouse). But the articles about the Africa Cup have me thinking that the bargaining won't be that good right now. I'd like to get some new clothes for future trips. Nothing is as comfortable in Ghana as clothes that were made to be worn by Ghanaians in Ghanaian heat! I have requests from Taevy for bracelets, clothes with beads on them, and a drum. Samren just wants another soccer shirt (should be easily found at triple the price I bought his current one for!). Bright won't have any specific requests but I think neck beads are a pretty safe bet for my boy. He loves him some beads around his neck!

I have one worry for myself during this trip. I am so scared to fall head over heals in love with one of the children we identify for international adoption! Our family is nowhere near ready to adopt again. We have lots to do before we can adopt again. Eric's transplant must be done. And we must recover financially from medical bills and adoption debt before we can move forward with anything new. Still...my heart doesn't listen to my head about these things.

It's been 7 months since Bright got home. Three months in I really didn't know if I would ever want to adopt again. Our family felt complete. Seven months in....not so much. I ADORE or family! Because I adore our family so much I think there must be room for at least one more Gillispie, right? Well, time will tell. In the meantime I've got to convince my silly 'ol heart not to fall in love with anybody while I'm in Ghana.

Shhh...don't tell anybody....but sometimes I think our next child will be an HIV+ child.

Anita