Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stress Dream! ACK!

I'm one of those people who usually remembers at least a few dreams every night. It's part of my husband's morning entertainment as we drive to work. ;-) So last night I had a whopper that was so obviously a stress dream. I'll share, as long as you promise not to decide I'm an absolute crazy person!

Phase One: I'm packing like a crazy woman and remember a "to do in Ghana" thing but forget to put it on my list. Of course I didn't remember this until later in the dream.

Phase Two: I'm in Ghana with someone else (a woman). We're hanging out in the morning--bed head, no bra, etc.--when there is a knock at the door. In walks the most snooty Ghanaian woman (if you've met a certain someone at DHS Accra you might know who she resembled). She had a guy assistant. She was really mad because we left her at the airport (back in America I guess?). We had an appointment to discuss something (don't remember what). Then another knock at the door.

Phase Three: It's an American guy that walks in and asks if he can talk to me. Sure. Then he says he's with the FBI. I'm being investigated for corruption in international adoption! In my dream mind I'm going through my head trying to think of anything I've done that could even be conceived as corruption. The guy is asking me why I adopted Bright away from his twin and I'm like--he wasn't a twin! He has three big brothers. "Why did you take him away from his big brothers?" I didn't know about them! I'm crying and telling the guy that I believe in ethical adoptions and do my very best. He asks if he can have my permission to search my entire home. Again, I'm think about what I might have in my possession that could help prove corruption? Couldn't think of anything, so I told him to search, through my sobs. Some person in the adoption community had accused me of being corrupt and "turned me in" to the FBI. Remember, this is a dream! LOL!

Phase Four: So the FBI is searching my home. Ghanaian officials are now assuming I'm a child trafficker. And now my hubby and kids are there. ??? So what happens with hubby there? Of course he gets a diabetic sugar low! He starts acting all crazy and generally just adds to the stress of everything. I'm giving him pop and candy but nothing is helping. The FBI agents think it's hilarious so they start playing with him as if he was a toddler.

Phase Five: I realize that I'm taking $5000 over for AAI (to add to our administrative budget--to avoid cabling fees). Is that corrupt? I don't think so. But will they see it that way? Holy cow! Do they "have" me?! I'm FREAKING out. About that time the investigator tells me that I'm clear and he apologizes for the inconvenience. In my mind (in the dream) it feels good to have someone official confirm what I thought I already knew--I'm ethical. Whew! ;-)

The dream goes to weird places from there. A seafood restaurant with see creatures swimming around and fighting. Eric is still low, so the waitress pours tons of candy down the back of his pants. LOL! [See, this is why my dreams are entertaining to Eric.]

The funny thing was to wake up and realize that I was internalizing stress about all of those things. Someone said the other day that I work for a corrupt agency (which implied that I was corrupt). Guess I haven't let that one go yet! I'm worried I'm going to forget something as I pack and plan. I hate carrying so much cash overseas. I always worry about Eric's health when I'm gone. And Ghanaian officials can be very intimidating!

Okay...leaving for the airport in 6 hours, so the computer is going off now. Next post, from Ghana!



Christine and Travis 3:49 PM  

Hi Anita,
I've been following your blog from The Friday Shirt Project's list of blogs. If you look at our website, you'll see an award we gave you! Take care and we'll be praying for you in Ghana!