Wednesday, July 08, 2009

No Fear?

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18
I just read this verse on someone's blog. I really needed to read that verse. Ugh. There are a handful of adoptive families that I know that are so heavy on my heart right now, that I find it difficult to do anything except pray for them. Literally, all day, I want to sit in silence and simply pray. I feel such a burden for them. And I know part of that burden is coming from a place of fear. I fear for them to be heartbroken, or to be further delayed, or to make a decision that they will regret. I boggle my mind trying to figure out what I can do to solve whatever problem they are up against. How can I fix it? How can I move things forward? How can I make a decision crystal clear? I can't. But the Lord can. So I pray.
Lest you think I'm some sort of saint, this is not unselfish on my part. I have personal fears as well. If X happens to _______ family, will they blame me? If Y happens in Ghana adoptions, will I still have a job? If so and so decides choice Z will they blame me in the future if it doesn't work out well?
Right now, I feel helpless. I feel ineffective. I feel week and powerless. This is probably why I feel such a need to pray. Because I'm praying to someone who has all of the power and love and answers that I don't have. Perfect love casts out all fear. The Lord is "perfect love." I pray that He can take this fear from my heart.


Amy 3:17 PM  

It really has been just awful with delays lately. I really could not do what you do Anita. SO much worry and stress, but it sounds like you are doing your best to pass that worry off to the Lord. Very wise. I just really hope things start moving forward for everyone soon...


Bingaling 3:49 PM  

Bless you sweet friend for having such a tender heart...and for simply feeling the fear along with your families. We love you for that. And I want you to know that (at least in our case) whatever we decide it will be a decision made by following the path we feel placed on by God. We know that whatever our decision, we'll have you to help support us along the way. This decision isn't yours to make...and there's no way any "blame" could be placed in your hands. Your only crime is wanting the best for everyone...for every family...and every child. What incredible weight you must feel on your shoulders sometimes.

whenpigsfly 4:53 PM  

Anita, I love your heart dear friend!!! The scripture you shared is so so precious and to it I would add 2 Timothy 1:7..."God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" With the suspension dragging on and on in Liberia I remind myself of this verse a lot. I reject the fears the enemy would send creeping into my thoughts and I cling to God's POWER, His LOVE and HIS SOUND MIND.
Praying a strong hedge of protection around your heart as you keep on "keepin' on" for your families

Momto14 5:47 PM  

Beautiful. I pray for the same thing. Love you. S

Renee 7:32 PM  

When we are weak He is very, very strong. We must keep our eyes on Him.

I am praying fervently over these situations as well...and I am praying for you dear friend.

He's an on time God :o)

Love you.

A. Gillispie 8:29 PM  

Thanks for the love friends. Sometimes the act of writing it down and purging really helps to set things at ease. I'm ready for a BREAKTHROUGH! I'm ready for GOOD NEWS!!!! It is so hard to be powerless in all of this. But I'm so thankful I serve a God that is ALL POWERFUL.