Friday, November 18, 2011

Adoption-Minded

This has been a good week. Nobody was sick. The kids rocked "at" school. I had a fruitful week "at" work. The house is not a total wreck, and nothing stopped working or dropped out of place this week (unlike last week when the vent hood fell off)! It has been a week when I've actually had the ability to do a bit more than the absolute minimum. Yeah for "more than the minimum!" I had a bit of left over brain at the end of the night to consider things...to think about things. Therefore, I have thoughts to write about!


[With absolutely NO intent to hurt feelings of others.]


I love all of the adoption and orphan care t-shirts that are out there. Well, not "all," but I love that they are out there, on the market. Many of them are so cool, and it's awesome that families can design a shirt and them make money for their adoption selling the shirts. I have my own mini-collection of these shirts now. However, my children do not. It would just feel weird to me to dress my kids in shirts that advertise their former orphan status. I don't want to use them to advertise adoption or orphan care. Is that weird? I think I might be in the minority here. I see kids on facebook wearing these adorable shirts, and I know the hearts of their parents are in the RIGHT place. I know their parents are great people. But I just can't do it. My kids didn't sign up to be orphans. And they didn't sign up to be the child of an adoption advocate. They just want to live their lives as normal kids in a normal family. If THEY ask me for a specific cool adoption t-shirt, I'm totally cool with that. I just don't want to push it on them.


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I feel all special because I've been asked to review two adoption resources. So cool! Bryan Post has created a resource called "Parenting Attachment Challenged Children, a Hands On Parenting Home Study Course.". They asked if I would review this new packet. I have looked through it and so far it looks really good. Elizabeth O'Toole wrote "In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption." I have read most of that book now. It looks like a really valuable resource for those that have families who are new to adoption and need to know how to support the adoptive family. Easy read. I've read a similar book before, but this one is much better. Anyway, this reviewing thing is an interesting new venture that is right up my alley.


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I've been thinking more about fostering lately. I sort of wish it was the "right time" in our life, but I know my heart is ahead of the game. I told Eric that I would not ask him to adopt again after kiddo #4, and I will stick to that promise. If we are called to adopt again, the Lord will have to speak directly to Eric about it! But, do I have room in my heart for more children? Absolutely. I like to think about the time when we will be able to foster children. I want to be able to serve vulnerable children with an absolute hope for reunification with their biological families. And if that doesn't happen, and the child becomes available for adoption, that will be between the Lord and Eric. =-) Right now, I know that it wouldn't be healthy for Bright if we fostered. He's not to a secure enough place yet. Oh yeah...and there is that little matter of DHS never approving us because we don't have any more bedroom space!


Love,

Anita

3 comments:

Anonymous 8:08 AM  

I just wanted to say I am totally with you on the shirts for my kids. Like you, if one of them asked for one, no problem, but I would feel weird putting them in one. Maybe because they already get enough "weird" attention just because there are 5 of them, all a different race then me. And I'm very careful about their privacy, and their stories. I don't want to put them in something that seems like it invites unwanted questions or attention. Then again, I have a 12 year old that is very sensitive about such things. I don't necessarily think it is wrong for other AP's to do, but doesn't work for us. Susie(Liberia AP, and US foster mom) speaking of, I have been fostering for 3 months now, and LOVING it. Hopefully your someday will come when the time is right. It has been a great experience for my family. Especially at a time when I didn't feel done in the kids department but can't really afford another adoption, nor am I sure adopting again is what I want. Fostering has been a good fit.

Kait 11:05 AM  

I'm with you on the shirts. And in general, I don't put my kids in shirts that promote any sort of agenda whether it be a Disney character or political agenda or even a matter of public advocacy. It just feels wrong, to me, in our family, to push MY beliefs on to the kids. So while I might admire the tee shirts that are pro adoption or pro gay marriage or have a Disney princess on them, my kids won't be wearing them. At least not until they're old enough to recognize and understand what it is they're promoting.

The Last Crusade 9:15 PM  

The shirts...me too. I LOVE this one particular adoption shirt. And my kids would look so cute in it. But it just feels weird. I'm even afraid to wear it bc I don't want them to think I'm announcing 'Hey, look at my kids! They're adopted!' Crazy, I know.