Friday, June 30, 2006

A Full Heart

Wow. What a day. I can hardly digest all of the joy in just this one day! I think I have stared at Kendi all day long. I printed out an 8X10 picture of her and we've taken it with us everywhere (even to McDonald's). I just cant stop looking at our girl--it's part of the process I seem to go through with each of our children. I think it must help my heart fall more in love to look at my children's photo all of the time as we wait for their homecoming. I did it with Taevy, and with Samren, and now with Kendi.

Looking at the hard copy photo is okay, but I especially like looking at in on the computer because I can blow it up and inspect every detail of our girl! Did you know...

It looks as if part Kendi's left eyebrow has been shaved, or is otherwise missing.
There may be a tear streak down her left cheek.
She has LONG eyelashes hiding under those very dark brown eyelids!
She may have a scratch on her chest, but I'm not sure.
That isn't a roll of baby fat on her neck--it's a necklace of some sort.
The hair on the right side of her head seems to be growing in much less full than on the right.

I had an interesting experience as I looked at her tonight. I blew her picture up to the point that just her eyes filled my screen. I searched those eyes. The could be saying *SO* many things. But to me they look very strong and determined more than anything else. Yes, also sad and confused, but behind that--strong and determined. They are old eyes--the eyes of a survivor. I could have been looking at a 30 year old woman with years of experiences rather than a 3 year old little girl's eyes. I got so lost in them.

Then I made the picture smaller...until just her face and head filled my screen. Still one could wonder, "How old is this girl?" "What has she been through?" "What has made her so strong and wise-looking?"

But then, as I continued to zoom out on the photo a tiny little girl appeared. A tiny little girl that holds herself more like a toddler than anything else (with her arms hanging away from her body the way they are). She's just a baby in this world. Just a baby. My baby.