Thursday, October 05, 2006

It's been...

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our
faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross,
scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne
of God
Hebrews 12:2
It's been ten days since the Director of Social Welfare in Volta Region should have received our "Letter of Interest" packet on Bright.  Ten days of wondering if the packet went directly to him last Monday, or if it's sitting in a mail room and he hasn't even seen it yet.  Ten days of wondering if he has had it since the first day and hasn't had time to open, or if maybe he has opened and just doesn't care to send the formal application for adoption to us yet.

It's been thirty-four days since we first say our baby's face, heard that he was around 11 months old, and that his name is Bright.  It's also been 34 days that we've been waiting to find out more information...a full name...a birth date...a weight (since he's malnourished)...a verbal medical or scanned report.  It's been 34 days.  Bright may have turned 1 year old already, but we didn't/don't know what day to celebrate.
Yes, it's hard.  Hard to wait.  Hard to know if we're waiting for something that is actually going to happen or if we're waiting to get bad news.  Hard to know if we're setting ourselves up for disappointment or not setting our hopes high enough.  It's hard to place our trust in people who haven't proved that they are worthy of our trust yet.  It's hard being so far away from the child that we love as our son.  It's hard to imagine his little malnourished body.  It's hard to wait.
My eyes are fixed on Jesus.  My heart is counting on His never-ending love and mercy.  My soul rejoices at the knowledge that He loves Bright even more than I do.  My peace comes (sometimes slowly, but it comes) because my Helper and my Friend has only good plans for my life, and for Bright's.  My contentment comes because I know He is more powerful than all other would-be-powers of the world.