Dearest Bright

Oh my sweet baby boy. How I long to be with you. I must think about you a thousand times a day. It seems that for so long there was a plug holding back some of the emotion attached to making you our son, but now the floodgates have opened! I have a thousand unanswered questions about you--questions that will only be answered once I hold you in my arms.

Do you smile a lot?
What does your laugh sound like?
Do you have teeth? If so, how many?
When did you get your first tooth?
Do you crawl?
Do you walk along furniture?
Are you mischievous?
Are you strong-willed (like Taevy) or easy-going (like Samren)?
Is your body muscular (like Taevy's was) or soft and cushy (like Samren's was)? Is it somewhere in between?
Are your hands and feet as tiny as they seem in the pictures?
What does it feel like to have your hand wrapped around my finger?
What does your cry sound like? Will I hear it often?
How much do you weigh?
What size clothes do you wear?
Will we keep calling you Bright once your home, or will we transition to Brighton quickly?
What do you eat every day?
Do you take one nap, or two, or none?
Do you say any words?
What size diaper will you wear?
Will you be an older or younger brother to our as-yet-unknown child in Ghana? Are you my "baby" or my second youngest?
Are your lips and mouth as cute in person as they are in your pictures?
Do you like to be cuddled or are you independent and on the go?
Will you grieve heavily when we are united, or will you give us a honeymoon period first?
How old will you be when we meet for the first time?
Will you come to me willingly or be afraid of the big white woman walking towards you with tears in her eyes?

This is just the tip of the iceberg Bright. I love you so very much even though we haven't met. I feel more obsessed than ever with thoughts of you right now. I suppose that's because Lois will be in Ghana in only a few short days. I am so glad that she will be with you, but am also overrun with thoughts of "if only" I could be with you as well. At the same time, I know that if I were to meet you and spend time with your right now I would be a real crazy woman by the time you came home! It is ONLY because we haven't yet met that I am able to control my feelings of love for you sweet boy. I know from previous experience that the love I feel for you now is real and true, but the love that happens once we are united will be even more fierce. I will never want to let you go! So for now that's how we'll keep things--I will meet you for the first time when you are able to join us forever. In the mean time I pray that God is able to hold you tight and somehow let your heart know that you DO have a mommy, on the other side of the ocean, that longs to be with you.

Love,
Mommy