I've Sized Him Up =-)

Okay, so we went to our movie as a family and the whole time all I could do was think about Bright--his smile, his tummy, what size clothes, what size shoes...you know. =-) Tonight when we got back to my mom's house Eric and I headed out to Wal-Mart because I couldn't stand NOT to know what size clothes he is in! LOL!

Right now Bright is in 3/6 month size for clothes, and a size 3 shoes. So those pictures are a bit deceiving! He is a tiny little guy with a great big belly. =-) We figure overalls might be the best type of clothes to put him in at first so that his big 'ol belly isn't too restricted by waist bands!

As much as I wanted to go crazy and buy him lots of stuff I was a good girl. We got him a pair of denim overalls and a striped onsie--size 12 months (because I can't stand the thought of him outgrowing something I bought and 12 months seems "safer" in that regard).

One thing I have realized this time around with our adoption is that we adoptive parents are fooling ourselves if we think that any amount of information is ever going to be "good enough." In lots of ways we've been spoiled this time 'round. We now have NINE photos of our sweetheart! We only had 2 photos of each of our other children while we waited (and no measurements for Samren). Even though I've been spoiled with all of these photos my mind IMMEDIATELY thinks of something else that I don't have. My mind says "If only I knew X the waiting would be easier." But that's just not true! No matter how much I know about Bright I am always going to want to know more, because nothing is going to feel "right" until he's home. Information isn't a replacement for holding my baby. Period.

I have to fess up on something else. At first, when I saw my baby boy's picture I was elated at the site of that huge tummy! But then, as I looked closer, I could also see how swollen his fingers and wrists are. This isn't good. Bright is doing SO much better than he was when he first came into care, but he is still dealing with the effects of malnourishment. When he first came into care I *think* that he was dealing with both marasmus (starving) and Kwashiorkor (lack of protein in the diet). It's obvious that he's getting adaquate calories now, but the edema in his tummy and wrists indicate that he hasn't recovered yet from the protein deficiency in his diet. Of course this makes my mommy heart worry a bit and want to get him home that much quicker. Please continue to pray with me for Bright's healing you all. Kwashiorkor looks so decieving. The kids look so much healthier than they are, but on the inside their little organs are dealing with a chronic shortage of protein. The liver is particularly affected.

I have a feeling that I'll post several times in the coming days. Just so much to process right now--and I haven't really even gotten an update from Lois about how the adoption is going, or any developmental stuff with Bright! Right now I just have an overwhelming urge to stare at his photos continuously in an effort to memorize every feature of the child that I pray will become our son very soon.

Love,

Anita