Travel Journal: 3-23-07

Whew! Last night was a long night! So hot. I know I was awake at least until midnight even though I was in bed by 8! Getting to sleep is the hard part. Once asleep it's okay. The electricity comes back on at 6am and the fan actually chills you at that point.

It's amazing how quickly the time has gone by since arriving. Hard to believe I might have less than a week left--at most I have a week. And my time at Hands of Mercy is coming to a close. I've decided to stay at a hotel with my agency friend starting on Tuesday. So...3 more nights her.

I am hearing credible rumors that the Department of Homeland Security guy (who would approve I-600s) is gone for several weeks. Plus, we still have no passport for Bright. It's looking very much like Bright will not come home with me so I have started thinking in that frame of mind. I don't want him to be traumatized when I leave him. So I have come to the very difficult decision that when I stay at the hotel Bright will stay here at Hands of Mercy. I asked Paul's opinion on this and he confirmed my feeling--that if Bright is with me and only me for several days it will cause him trauma when I leave him. Also, Paul brings up the good point that it will allow me to see how Bright does without me for several days before I got (more peace of mind). Of course I want him with me constantly. I'm just trying to think about what is best for him, no matter how hard on me.

So I have a very heavy heart right now. I miss my babies in the US so much and yet I know I will miss Bright terribly when I leave as well. Actually I think I will miss him terribly from the first day at the hotel. Please God, I pray I am making the right decision for my son.

I got another nasty email from Lois today. I just can't even deal with it. There is no reason to even respond at this point because she is so way off base with her accusations against me. And she loves to psycho analyze me and tell me what my emotional problems are. Interesting that nobody else seems to see these same things in me. Hmmm...

I'm just so tired of the drama. I very much look forward to the end of this relationship. That's the one downer about (okay, on e of the downers) about not bringing Bright home. Please God just let me be able to file the paperwork with passport before I leave. If not, I trust Edward with the paperwork and know he will do everything possible to get it ready. Even if Lois doesn't want him to, I know that Edward will do the right thing and advocate for Bright.

Bright--let's see--what to say about Bright today? Have I mentioned how the boy can eat?! Today he ate 3 bananas and a mango in one sitting! THEN he stole somebody else's cracker! He's so cute. I've always had skinny Asian babies before so it's a whole new world to have a fat African baby!

Today we still had some hitting issues (usually when we're playing rough) but not fits. He pretty much only gets whiny when he's tired or hungry. You would not believe the difference in him in just this two weeks. He cruises all over the place, can pull himself up to stand (if he's pulling up on something for support) and does the one-legged army crawl instead of a normal crawl.

I know he will continue to flourish here. I think he will probably come home with some bad habits--or what Americans think of as bad habits. They are very rough with the puppy here and Bright has picked up on that. Also, they let the little ones walk around and pee/poop wherever the mood hits (I'm talking babies/toddlers). rather than wearing diapers. Too expensive to do disposables all of the time so they save them for church and outings.

The habits he takes on here will be a small price to pay to know how loved he will be, and how they will help Bright develop to this truest potential. I love Eugemot and the people there. The babies are very loved--but at least Bright was also very babies (I suppose because of his state of health when he came). They nurtured him back to health in an incredible way, and love just seeps from the home. God has just provided a different place for Bright for the rest of his time in Ghana.

Even though Bright won't be coming home with me I firmly believe we did the right thing in having me come. God has shown His purpose for this trip in many ways. I even felt as long ago as last week that Bright wouldn't be coming home with me. Paul needs to come to America and spread the word about Hands of Mercy. Escorting Bright home will help him do that. It will all be fine. It will all be fine. It has to be.

*Post trip note: Unfortunately it looks like Paul won't get to come to America to bring Bright home, because I will be traveling in stead. I can't wait for Paul's first visit to America though!

Bite update--They've definitely abandoned the used property on my appendages and are now enjoying areas like my thighs, underarms, chest, stomach, and rump! Six bites on my rump now!!! ITCH!!!