Ethics in Adoption: The Visa Interview
Putting more food for thought out there with regard to ethics in adoption...
Hypothetical situation: You've traveled to the foreign country to complete your child's visa processing. While there your adoption liaison tells you outright that $200 was paid to someone to make things go smoother at the embassy.
At the visa interview the embassy employee asks you if you have any knowledge of anybody being paid improperly throughout your adoption process. If you lie it will be considered purgery in a US Court of Law. If you tell the truth your child might not ever get his/her visa.
What do you do?
I'm putting the poll in the sidebar of my blog so please go and vote! This happened to someone very close to me and it is more common than one might think. These kinds of situations really put our ethics to the test. As adoptive parents we should be prepared for scary ethical dilemmas like this one.
Anita
8 comments:
What a difficult situation...as are many in this world of adoption. I don't know what I'd do. I want to say I'd do the ethical thing and answer truthfuly. However, if I thought it would jeopardize my child's visa, I'm not sure. I very well may lie just to get my child home. There's no good answer here because while the people who made and took the unacceptable payments might eventually be punished, it is the family and child who would more than likely feel the immediate ramifications of telling the truth.
Thanks for posing such interesting topics on your blog. Such good food for thought.
Kerri and Ruby
that's difficult Anita. I would think that the big issue here is that a US Employee of a Government building is taking bribes.
I am not sure what I would do - because you always want to do the right thing - BUT you also want your baby home!!!!
Julz
I would have to tell the truth. Since my goal in life is to please God, and God hates lies, I would tell the truth. It would probably be the hardest thing I have ever done! But if God wants that child home with me, He doesn't need me to help Him do it by lying.
After spending a "legal" fortune to get my child; having a charge tacked on to every adoption procedure I needed to complete.
After being driven to the emotional brink from the caprice of all involved. After spending over a year trying to even travel to get my child. After getting stuck in third world he!! for several months with this baby who was in pretty bad shape when I got her.
Not difficult at all, I would do what it takes to get that child home. By then I had been jerked around by the agency, facilitator, orphanage, my country, my state government, federal government, the childs country, the embassy. It was a no brainer.
I was left with little or no respect for anyone involved and my child was not going to pay the price for a situation I neither understood or could judge.
It is nice to have black and white, but you come to find there is so much gray, and not my child. This child was not going to suffer from a screwed up system that has defied fixing in every country.
tell the truth but better still try and avoid the situation in the first place. I just went through a horrendous 10 month process with the embassy and had several offers along the way to 'smooth' things along. It was hard to resist, especially when I wanted my baby home so badly but in the end, I'm glad I did. Just my 2 cents.
Oh please don't be a fence sitter on this one anyone... I would say no!!100 % I don't believe one person that would say they would not lie!!at that point of the adoption process... it's a dirty word.. BUT!!! by you saying yes!! who do you think your fooling.. your not going to change the world or help anyone... if you feel that strong about it... you would not have done it in the first place!! When your talking Africa. Africa works on wosta... greasing palms.. who you know... what you can do for me ... endless. It's sad.. but true!
Darren
Hi Anita
We have given this some thought and yes it is a tricky situation to be in but we think it would be best to tell them that you understand someone did give money, but it wasn't with your prior knowledge and it wasn't you who gave it. Hope we have understood your question correctly.
I will never know why they only asked you and Eric that question on that fateful day, and not Charlie and me. PERHAPS if one pair of us had answered one way and the other, differently, life would be entirely different than it is right now? I would really like to think that I would not even question how I would respond, and (being a real weeeeeeeney here) I am glad that we were not asked, and I am sorry that you were.
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