Freaking Out Just the Slightest Bit

I've gone back and forth about posting about this on my blog, but (as usual) I just need to write and get it out.

First the non-freaking out part... I'm headed back to Ghana on August 2nd! I always hate leaving my family, but Ghana has part of my heart now, so I always love going back. I will be coming back home on August 19th (arriving the 20th). There are so many things to do, and I am looking forward to them all. Of course the thing I most look forward to is meeting all of our new kids and getting my fill of hugs and cuddles each day!

Now to the freaking out part.. I'm also headed to another country in Africa. I'll be checking out the situation of orphans there. I've done a lot of research on the possibilities of adoption and am excited to learn more. But it wasn't until the last day or so that it actually hit me that I am going to this whole new place, and I know nobody there. It's not like the first time I went to Ghana with my agency director, knowing we had a driver all lined up. I know NOBODY there. I have a few names and a few addresses.

Don't worry (too much)--our Ghana Adoption Coordinator Percy will be traveling with me. I would definitely not feel comfortable going to this country by myself. I'm sure Percy will be a great help, although he's never been there either. I would be lying if I said HE was looking forward to it. He's not. He's got some major bias against this country.

So...after digging out the 'ol Lonely Planet book (from 2002, so not exactly current) and spending most of the day on the internet checking out the state of things in this country, I feel a little concerned. I want to be all completely brave and say that I don't worry at all about our safety while there--but I'd be lying. At the same time, I've read that the media reports are hugely exaggerated and it's really not as bad as people make it out to be.

And gosh, I feel bad for saying ANYTHING negative about this country because the orphans in this country are no less deserving of a permanent family than anywhere else! They can't help it that the country is more like Haiti than Canada! What if nobody ever got brave enough to organize "Operation Babylift" in Vietnam all those years ago? How many children would have never had a family?

This is a big part of my life. This is a big part of my purpose. My mom (and Eric to a certain extent) is having a hard time with the thought of me going to this new place. It makes me sad to have them worry. The Lord has called me to this specific life and this specific area of ministry. So I have to believe that He will also protect me from any unforeseen dangers in my path. How can I just write this country off just because of the possibility of danger? How can I write off 10 MILLION orphans like that? If I go, and things don't work out, and it feels too dangerous, fine. At least I tried.

At the same time, I'd appreciate your prayers. The Lord doesn't want me to have a spirit of fear about this. But I do feel a little fearful right now, at this very moment. I know from going to Haiti that the "threat of danger" never really feels as "threatening" when you are actually there. I loved my short time in Haiti and never felt unsafe, despite the "warnings." I pray that it will be the same with this country. And honestly--I'm not worried about me. Whatever. I'm ready to go "home" whenever the Lord calls me. But I hate the thought of something happening to me and my family paying the price for it. They are they ones that would lose. I'd be all happy and joyful in heaven!

Thanks for just praying for my peace of mind, as well as my loved ones. And thanks for praying that all of the pieces will fall together so that by the time we actually arrive we will feel as if we "know" plenty of folks!

Anita