Saturday, January 30, 2010

One Year Ago Today...

There might be a few "one year ago today" posts coming up. Hard to believe, but it was one year ago today that Eric and "put out a fleece" to the Lord to see if we were supposed to add Kendi to our family. Obviously, He answered! We basically shared with the Lord that our faith was weak, and in order for us to KNOW, we needed a sign. Our specific request was that "money would fall from the sky" for the adoption. On January 30th, the fleece went out. February 10th, the fleece was answered! The Rollstone Foundation offered us a $5000 grant for Kendi's adoption. And our journey towards Kendi began.

Of course, those are just the official dates. In reality, I had felt a special connection with Kendi since October of the previous year. I didn't know if it was a daughter connection though. In January 2009 I visited Ghana and met Kendi in person. I told Eric that he needed to start praying for our #4, because I think I had met her. Then, after knowing Eric's hesitancy, I told him never-mind. She wasn't #4. Her being #4 would require a huge stretch of faith that I wasn't sure Eric was ready for. [I'm pretty much always ready to "jump.] We were in a really good place in our marriage, and both of us were in agreement that it didn't make sense to adopt before his kidney transplant. By the end of the week in Ghana I called him back and told him I was sorry--I know it was going to be a difficult decision--but I really felt that little Mabel at Eban House was our Kendi.

I think about how things would be different if the Lord wouldn't have given us the sign we needed to go forward. Would Kendi have waited in Ghana? Would she have gotten sick and died? No. A resounding no. It's a year later and she is only just now to the point where she needs to be put on HIV meds. She wouldn't have remained a waiting child. In fact, I have a good friend who has been praying for an HIV+ toddler girl for about a year now. Kendi would have most likely become their daughter and been in an AMAZING family.

Kendi wouldn't have lost out if we would have said no to her adoption. We would have! We would have been the ones that missed out on her. I wouldn't be privy to the life of this amazing little person. I wouldn't know each wrinkle in her nose when she smiles. I wouldn't hear her squeaky little voice saying, "I wuv oo mama." I wouldn't get her "slobber and kisses, HIV style." I would have missed out on one of the greatest blessings of my life.

Our putting out a fleece isn't something we are proud of. I'm ashamed that we didn't have the absolute faith needed to step out and say YES to Kendi, trusting the Lord for the money. I'm here to say, if there is a little one tugging at your heart, and it doesn't make sense on paper, that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense! It all worked out for us. Not only did the Lord provide the $5000 grant, but somehow we were also able to pay the rest of the adoption off IN FULL before she was home. That's around $15,000 in 7 months, when we didn't have a penny saved at the start. Even though it didn't make sense to take on a child when we were waiting for a kidney transplant, it all worked out! Having Kendi didn't interfere in any way. It was all very safe in the Lord's hands. It was silly for us to worry about the travel call coming the same day as Eric's transplant. Oh ye of little faith!

Step out. Step up. The Lord will provide a way to your child if HE is calling you to it. I'm not saying that you shouldn't pray and pray hard before you commit to a child. But if it's an earthly thing holding you back, don't let it. People adopt with low income. People adopt with cancer. People adopt with obesity and diabetes and kidney disease. People adopt when they already have "too many kids" by the world's eyes. Don't let anybody tell you no except for the one being in this Universe that actually has the power to make things happen!

We're very thankful that the Lord had mercy on us and gave us the sign we were hoping for. He didn't have to. He doesn't always answer in that way. He could have just as easily not given us a sign. We could have not listened to His call, and missed out on the child that was meant to be with us for all time. It's scary to think how close were were to missing out on our daughter.

Step out. Step up.



Kait 7:12 PM  

When I asked my husband if we were crazy for pursuing another adoption less than six months after our first (messy, long) adoption finalized, he said yes. Then he told me "God told Noah to build a really big boat. And Noah thought God was crazy. Other people thought Noah was crazy to obey. But Noah built that boat and look how blessed he was." So we say that, in regards to our adoption, God has called us to build a really big boat. So even though we have to sell our house and move, even though we have to invest every single penny of our taxes in to getting debt paid off and saving the rest for this adoption, and even though we will have four kids under the age of five - we're building this boat.

Our sons are waiting for us. And like you said, would they be waiting forever if we rejected this call? Probably not. But our lives would always be lacking them and we would feel that loss as keenly as one feels the loss of a limb. Our boys are out there and we're going to get them.

Incidentally, we're also using AAI because you and Erin Henderson's blog have convinced us that those working with AAI are genuine, wonderful people who will help us be united with our sons.

Kristin Jag 8:58 PM  

ha! I just posted with the same title! ;)

Yea for trusting!!!

FullPlateMom 9:37 PM  

I like when other adoptive parents point out that we are truly the ones who are blessed. My kids would have all found other wonderful families too. I'm lucky to get to call them mine. Congrats on a beautiful year!

A. Gillispie 11:25 PM  

Kait, you bless me! Thank you for the kind words. There is no perfect agency, but I don't think you could choose better than AAI when it comes to people who genuinely care and programs that are ethically run!

whenpigsfly 11:52 AM  

AS God has blessed us with 6 completed adoptions and as we wait on one to complete SOOn and two more to "Settle" I know so well that God will make a way when it is HIS WAY! He makes a way through all of our "circumstances" through what we see, what we hear, what we "know" and He guides us step by step through the deep waters, the storms and the dry spots. YE we have heard so many times "Lucky child" over each of our most recent but I have to respond with the utmost conviction from deep in my Mamma-heart "OH WE are the BLESSED ONES!!" Each of our children, bio and adopted alike have made me so very rich and given depth to who God intended me to be and to keep on becoming. Are we "done" adopting when this 171 H expires, used up or not? I "think so" BUT I have learned over the past 10 years particularly, that it is wiser to simply say "Yes Lord, here am I. Send me" and then let Him open and close the doors.Who wants to miss a thing that God has ordained for them??!