No more McDonald's for me.

No more McDonald's for me. I'm fed up now. I wrote in jest the other night that a job at McDonald's sounds pretty good on an emotional day at my "work." But you know what sounds better? Ethical adoptions sound better. Ethical adoptive parents. Ethical adoption agency workers. Ethical government workers. That would be better.

This week Ethiopia announced its intention that adoptive parents will have to appear in court, rather than the adoptions being done by proxy. I have no idea if this will stand. And I really truly do understand adoptive parents being extremely disappointed if this change stands. I understand that it could cause some families not to be able to choose Ethiopia as an adoption choice. But let us not forget that it is WE that have been given the PRIVILEGE to adopt Ethiopia's children. This is not a right! If Ethiopia wants to require parents to travel to court, then so be it. It's up to parents who want to be given the privilege to adopt to figure out how to make it work. And parents will. They will toughen up. And they will do what it takes. Because what most foreign officials don't seem to get is that American adoptive families truly LOVE these children who are only known to us by their names and photographs. We will stand by them.

This week I have become more and more disheartened with corruption by government officials. Yes, I'm speaking to you, government official. Pick a country. Why do you feel the need to profit off of an orphaned child's terrible circumstances? Why do you think there is such a "piece of the pie" you are missing out on? Can you not accept that American agencies aren't profiting from helping families adopt? We are NON-PROFIT! I am willing to bet that you make more of a salary as a government official than I do here in America, as an adoption coordinator. Yes, the fees are large that American families pay. But it takes a lot of money to simply run the agency. It takes money to provide humanitarian aide to the vulnerable in the country of adoption. It takes money to put food in the children's mouths, and to provide them with more than the basics of life. Just ask for an accounting. It all adds up. I am tired of being quiet about this. There are some people that say the Americans are coming to "buy" your children. But from my point of view the majority of people I see who are trying to profit off of these children are people within your own country. If the government officials greed continues to spread like a black disease throughout your country, people will take a stand. You may find some horrid American families who are willing to buy children from you, but most of us are working towards ethical adoptions and will not continue to stand for your behavior. There are people within your own country committed to ethical adoptions as well. And I believe in the US Embassy personnel. I believe they will know the truth, and will suck you out of the greedy corner you hide in. They will learn who is acting ethically and who is not. When they do, I will celebrate.

And adoption agencies! Yes! WHY would any agency feel the need to lie to their clients? I JUST DON'T GET IT! How can a lie be better than the truth? So yeah. Maybe the truth sucks. But families are strong. They can take it. And guess what? If you never lie you never have to worry about being sued (or at least not in a way where you would be found liable). Novel idea, right? I know that parents can be downright rude. I know that they can feel entitled when they aren't. But we're their lifeline. They are putting a huge part of their hearts in our hands. It's such a fragile thing. If we lie to them even one tiny time, that trust is ruined from then on. We can't be perfect. We're going to make mistakes. There are going to be things that we honestly don't know about. But if we're honest with the tough stuff maybe--just maybe--our families will believe us when there really is something we didn't know about! And oh, we have such a responsibility to these families. How can agencies (and orphanages) choose to play the game of corrupt government officials? WHY?! Pick up your ball and move to a new spot. You don't have to play there. Find a spot where you can play by the rules. It might be harder. It might be more expensive. It might take more time. But that is why these families put their trust in us.

This week I have become more convinced than ever that adoptive parents MUST stand up for their right to an ethical adoption. We must stand together on this! We must be brave! We adoptive parents have created our own monsters. There have been those of us who have defected, and made it true that some children in this world have been stolen or bought for a price. How can we blame foreign governments who think Americans want to "buy babies" when in fact, there have been a few who have done that horrid thing? Nobody would be able to "sell" a child if there were nobody to "buy" the child. SHAME ON YOU! Take a stand for what is right. Get out of your selfish shell for a moment and look at the chaos you have created within international adoption. Ten years ago there were many countries to adopt from. These countries trusted our intentions as pure. But people have proven to the world that there are those in our numbers who would defect away from those pure intentions in order to do whatever would gain them the "quickest, easiest, cheapest, youngest" adoption possible.

At the heart of it, I do believe all international adoptions are a fight of good vs. evil. Put it in whatever "shape" you want--God vs. satan; karma; chi. There is some force that only wants adoptions to go forward if greed is involved. There is some force that would rather children literally rot than be united with loving families. There is some force that dances with joy with each new rumor of baby buying.

I'm in the mood to fight. I'm in the mood to fight for these children and these families and these government officials who ARE working for good.

During these "I wish I worked at McDonald's" days, I've had to given several families very tough to take information. But did they falter? NO! Did they even hesitate? NO! These families are my heroes. They just took it; accepted it; and said, "What's next?" They are ready to FIGHT for their children. And by God, I'm ready to stand next to them. It's sad that international adoption has to be, in many ways, such a war. But it is. On which side will you stand?

I have been the spoiled adoptive parent. I am the confliced and imperfect agency employee. I have been someone who gave in to the greed of a government official (NO NOT GHANA). But I am also someone who is ready to fight for the survival of international adoption. When I was a child I understood as a child, but when I became grown I put away childish understanding! (Ref: 1 Cor 13:11)

Welcome to adoption. How can I help you? How can you help you?