You Love Me Anyway

I have just finished a 20+ hour training to be certified in The Post Institutes's "Great Behavior Breakdown." To say it was an exhausting experience would be an understatement. To say it was a rewarding experience would be a GROSS understatement. I don't think I ever really understood what it felt like to have a "paradigm shift" until today. No, I take that back. The day I received Christ was a paradigm shift (I just wasn't aware of that term then). Today was the second huge shift in my life outlook/understanding.

So, I'm driving home tonight and I heard this song. I've heard it enough to know the melody, but never really listened to it, and certainly not in the context I heard it tonight. I'm going to post the lyrics below, but the emphasis is mine, and I'm going to add some comments in brackets. This is more for my own processing, since most people reading this probably haven't fully adopted Post's methods into their home. [Maybe that will change for some of you!]

When I heard this song tonight, I heard it as a child, speaking to their parent, who had "loved me anyway"--even through trauma and all of the junk that comes with that. Isn't that what we're doing? We love our kids anyway. We make a choice to love them, no matter how "messed up" their little hearts are.

You Love Me Anyway

The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

[Oh, the shame you carry with you, my children. There is so much hiding in your minds, even hidden from your own consciousness.]

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly

[It's my job to challenge you to grow. I know it feels scary. I can see the beauty in you. And I know you have a soft place to fall.]

But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside

[The future is literally impossible for you to see right now. Your heart is so broken. I know it feels safer to stay inside of yourself. Try to see the future through my eyes. One day, you will see it for yourself.]

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me

[Yes, my babies! I love you anyway! I know it's so different from what you've experienced before. You have known hurt, and neglect, and hunger. Now, you will know love, not fear.]

It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find

[You are stronger than you know. What you have survived, nobody should have to survive. You have waited so patiently, my darlings, for the love you deserve.]

All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

[It's not fair. It's not. I don't know why this has been your past, but it doesn't have to be your reality in the future. Trust me. Don't doubt. Freedom is coming.]

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

[I can never love you in the perfect way Christ loves you, but that is the standard by which I live. I will sweat for you. I will be scarred for you. I will bleed for you. I can even love you through betrayal. Test me little ones. It's okay. I am strong enough to carry you through your past and into the future.]

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

[Nothing you do will bury my grace. I have grace in abundance for you, my children. You can let go of that shame now. You can learn to live without it. It does you no service any longer.]

But You love me anyway
Oh, God… how you love me

You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

You love me, You love me
You love me, You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me

[Always, always, and forever.]