Tonight I was talking to Bright about me going to Ghana--trying to prepare him that I will be gone for a few weeks. I was telling him that I plan to go and visit his Ghana family, which prompted a little viewing session of the photos we have. Taevy happened to walk in while I had this photo up. She said, "Who is that?" Bright said, "It's my people Taevy!"
I love it. I love that he can now name all of his brothers in Ghana. I love that he can see a picture of hi Ghana grandparents and nonchalantly call them "grandma and grandpa Ghana." He knows where he comes from. He knows he can go back there someday. What an absolute GIFT for an international adoptee.
I wish all of my children had the gift of knowing where they come from. Samren knows a bit; Taevy knows nothing. We have nothing for her. It is exceedingly difficult on her. She has a hole where her history should be.
Take it from someone who has experienced it both ways; if you have an opportunity to have an open international adoption experience, take it. Take it. For your child's sake, take it. Even if they come from an abusive place it is THEIR place. It is THEIR people. Don't be selfish. You can handle one uncomfortable afternoon with their birth family for the sake of your child's future.