Tuesday, May 08, 2012

I feel one coming on...

Oh bother.  I feel one of "those" posts coming on.  All the signs are there.  In the past two days several things have come into my view that have made me feel sick to my stomach at the phrase "Christian Adoption Movement."  First my dear friend posts on her blog about how she's pretty much given up hope for ethical adoptions, and much of her frustration lies with we Christians who are "called" to adopt but then demand babies as young as possible.  That is followed by a post on another blog in rebuttal to the Orphan Summit that occurred at Saddleback Church last weekend.  I didn't want to agree with it!  I didn't want to agree with it!  And then I did (or at least, most of it).  Then today it was the triple-whammy.  A fellow Christian had to whip out the "rescue/save" terminology.  Okay, I can stay calm.  Ignorance happens.  Education rules.  But no.  Privately this person very much defended their position.  Not only will they rescue 3 orphans, but they will also rescue them in order to share the gospel of Christ with these children!  I can think of about 10,000 better ways to fulfill the Great Commission.

So I'm sitting here with this huge knot in my stomach because I know there are layers upon layers of words that need to be let out of my system.  But this is a HUGE and controversial topic.  And I don't want to hurt the feelings of any of my friends out there.  Right now I just feel ANGRY that Christians are leading a huge and powerful movement that I feel is in some ways totally off base with reality.  There is a part of me that feels like I'm betraying my own people for saying that, and yet I feel deeply that what I'm saying is true.  This is such a powerful movement and it could do so much good.  I just wish the message was a little different!

I'll stop there, for tonight.  I'll leave you with THIS, an article by my former pastor Craig.  It's nothing to do with this topic, but in some way it speaks to me about it.  The point of the article is that we are adding something to Christ to create RELIGION.  Christ + Something = Religion.  Christ + Nothing = Relationship.  I feel like *sometimes* the message in the Christian Adoption Movement gets muffled and we start implying that there are words in the Bible that just aren't there--namely that God/Christ SAID to adopt Children.  Okay, really stopping now.  Need your prayers.  Really feeling physically sick over this.



Kait 9:18 PM  

THIS is why I had to leave all the online adoption groups, axe most of the adoptive parent friends on FB and stop reading a ton of adoption blogs. The Christian adoption movement has stopped being about finding families for children in need and instead it's about "saving" babies for Jesus. It's ugly and horrible. I can't stomach it any more.

I have historically loved your heart when you spoke about such things so I'm looking forward to what you have to say.

Dozen Senses 2:23 PM  

I agree wholeheartedly with Anita's posts of wisdom, experience & perspective here. I admire the way you take it on/address this topic. Kait too, yes, agree.

CarrieT 9:56 PM  

Wow, Anita! You have been so quiet lately and I check back after a few days to see so many posts!! I completely agree with you on this topic. I have "argued" several times with other Christians about how they refer to their adoption fees as a "ransom." Ugh. Totally don't like that at all! My kids were not being kidnapped!! And, yes, I am like several of you: even though I am a Christian and I definitely support adoption I mostly do not want to be associated with any Christian adoption movement!!!

Carrie T. - mom to 4 from Korea

Mama D’s Dozen 11:32 AM  


I read the article/post rebutting the Orphan Conference at Saddleback. One of my first thoughts was, "What would Anita think of all of this?" Seriously. I so highly respect your thoughts and insight. Then I thought about writing a post with a link to the article . . . and asking you to jump into the discussion. :)

I am a Believer. God called us to adopt 3 children from Africa. But . . . I am so NOT at the same place as many in the "Adoption Community".

"Rescue" . . . "Ransom" . . . I cringe every time I see those words in print when speaking of adoption.

I traveled to Africa with a friend for her adoption, and saw first hand out-of-control corruption. I saw bribes being paid. I heard blackmail being demanded. It truly made me sick to my stomach. Thankfully .. . that orphanage was soon shut down. But, how many others continue the practices.

I am so very thankful that I know that my girls' parents died . . . that my daughters are "true orphans". So glad that I am not left to wonder.

So much to say . . . but will wait to hear more of your heart on this matter.

Don't be afraid to speak out. You speak so much wisdom and truth. God has given you a platform.

One more thing ... you said something about your former pastor, Craig. Did you change churches? I thought things were going so well for you there. So sorry if you had to find a new church home.

Hope your week is BLESSED!


bbqdaisy 7:50 PM  

I love you Anita and so respect you but I have to say that I disagree with you a bit on this. I know you know my heart (at least I think you do), and I think you know that our hearts are not at all to "rescue," nor to have even one unethical adoption take place, and that we are only for informed adoptions on the part of the adoptive parents as the adoption journey is inherently difficult and requires parents to change how they parent and do life (which so many families are not willing to do). I was at the Orphan Summit, and the focus was on finding families for kids, and not the other way around. The focus was actually more on finding homes for older kids, and kids harder to place. I agree that some Christians are trying to adopt for the "wrong" reason but to categorize the whole Christian adoption movement like that I think is unfair and inaccurate. I didn't read any of the posts/articles mentioned so I have no idea what was said. The larger Christian movement does say that the basic message of the Gospel is based on adoption - Christ adopting us. And that God calls us to take care of orphans (period). I could go on and on but I won't. I just had to respectfully disagree with you which I'm sure you are comfortable with =) I wonder if we sat down and talked about it face to face if we would really disagree that much.

A. Gillispie 10:07 PM  

Laurel, nothing bad happened at all! We still totally respect LifeChurch and Pastor Craig is awesome! The Lord just VERY CLEARLY called us to a church near us that is very involved in missions to Ghana! They also HAPPEN to host our kids' sporting activities and HAPPEN to be the church home of several of hubby's old school mates (from a town an hour away from here). You see where I'm going. It was a very CLEAR call. We weren't expecting to go anywhere but the moment we stepped in we knew we were home. It's a longer story than that going back to before we ever went to LifeChurch, but that's enough for a blogger comment! ;-)

A. Gillispie 10:08 PM  

Maria, love ya girl! I'm sure we agree much more than we disagree! This stuff is difficult to portray with a limited number of words. I have a feeling that our hearts are the same, and that's what matters. =-)

Mama D’s Dozen 1:08 AM  

So glad you are just where you need to be, church-wise. We, too, just changed churches . . . and the very first week we visited, we knew we were "home".

Glad you are right where God has called you to be. Was just hoping that you weren't wandering church-less.

:) :) :)