On the Road Again...

Well, it's been almost a week since we decided to adopt from Ghana instead of Liberia and I am basking gloriously in the complete peace the Lord has given me about it!!! I'm sure that there will be ups and downs, delays and disappointments like there are with almost all adoption journeys, but there is a sort of deep inner contentment that give me great hope for the future.

It's been really fun learning about a new country. And for some reason I am even more motivated to learn about Ghana's culture than I was to learn about Liberia's. It's such an interesting country, and I am already in love with the people! Check out www.ghanaweb.com to get a better idea of what I'm talking about. Don't forget to check out the pictures and Ghanaian Dictionary (warning--not appropriate for children)!!!

We are back on the paperwork trail again, re-collecting all of the documents we previously had to get that now need to be redone and notarized. Bother. And yet, there is a certain excitement to it--maybe like being kicked by the baby in your womb? =-)

I found out today that many Ghanaian families are open to adoptions and often times there is a waiting list in Ghana for those who wish to adopt a baby. This indicates that our wait for referrals may stretch far beyond what I had originally hoped. Everybody let's reset our adoption due dates, okay? Let's start praying that Kendi and Canan are home by Christmas! Anything before that will be icing on the cake!

Finally, check out http://www.catointl.org/OsuAlbum.html to see the orphanage where our children will supposedly come from. Just think--you might see a picture of Kendi or Canan!!!

Love to all...

HUGE Change of Plans!!!!

What news I have to share with you today!!!! The Lord has spoken to Eric and I in a huge way this past week and it's changed the entire course of our adoption journey!

I haven't posted this, but we've had our dossier ready to go to Liberia for the past 4 weeks (except for CIS approval). For some reason each week I have found an excuse NOT to send it--little insignificant reasons. Last week I got a little real with myself and started asking WHY? I began to pray for the Lord to put my mind at ease about sending our paperwork, or to reveal to me why I wasn't supposed to send it.

A few days later I had a dream that I knew was one of "those" dreams--a dream that has significance--but for the life of me I couldn't figure it out. At the same time a new adoption program caught my attention. I researched it and shared with Eric a few nights ago that IF something were to happen and we weren't able to adopt from Liberia I would like to adopt from Ghana. Eric immediately asked, "Well then, why aren't we going with Ghana as our first choice?" I hadn't even considered it! For so long I have felt that our children were in Ghana that the thought of changing countries "just because" wasn't even a thought in my head!

So I shared with Eric all I knew about the program, run by Life's Vision International (www.lifesvision.org). He asked if I had any pictures of the oprhanages or children and I showed him the Osu Children's Home website (www.osuchildrenshome.org). This is the orphanage that our children would likely come from if we adopted from Ghana. As soon as Eric saw the pictures his face lit up as bright as I think I have ever seen it! He smiled to the point of tears and there was no quest in my mind that he had an immediate and STRONG reaction to these children and this country. Eric quickly confirmed my suspicions and told me that he really felt like we were to adopt from Ghana.

So we are!!!! We are so VERY excited and we both feel a peace that we have not felt this entire journey!!! Ghana is still in West Africa, but it had a very unique and interesting culture of its own. It's a more settled country where we will be able to travel and enjoy ourselves more (in other words, it had electricity, running water, HOT water, and even air conditioning)!!! My mom and I will be there for 7-10 days.

We still plan to adopt our baby girl and toddler boy--Kendi and Canan. The earliest we will likely be traveling is mid-August, but it could be as long as mid-November. We will be only the 1st or 2nd family from the US to adopt from Ghana using an agency so there are a lot of unknowns. Nevertheless, we know that the safest place in the world is in the middle of God's will!!!

Week in Review

I guess this is my "week in review." I don't have any big news to share tonight, but felt the need to write anyway.

I found out tonight that the Immigration office that is processing our paperwork is now working on applications that were accepted on or around January 15th. Our application was accepted on February 10th, so we MAY have our immigration approval around the middle of May. I was really hoping that it would be sooner than that (originally hoping for mid-April when our journey began) but I am trying to be thankful to the Lord for a mid-May approval date. There are offices all over the country that take many months to give approvals so I really shouldn't complain about a 6 week turnaround.

I feel that our hopes of having the children this summer may be quickly vanishing. Liberia's government is doing an incredibly great job of trying to tweek the program in order to better protect the children. However, the side effect of that is adoptions are going to take longer from now on. When we began this journey we were told that we could have our children in as little as 2-4 weeks after referral. Now the process may take as long as 3-6 month after referral. I do NOT do well with the wait emotionally once I have seen my child's face so waiting 6 months to hold them and tell them I love them will be incredibly difficult. Please pray with me that the adoption process is MUCH quicker than 6 months.

Tonight our family took a walk around the block just for the fun of it. The kids rode their bikes, our new puppy walked next to us on the leash (biting it most of the time) and our faithful cat Simion walked behind us, meowing all the way. =-) As we walked through our cute little neighborhood and I looked ahead to see our two beautiful children I couldn't help but be reminded to thank the Lord for what I already have! We have the best little family! I really want to try not to get down about not having Kendi and Canan yet, as these are precious months that I can spend with Taevy and Samren before they take on the additional role as big brother and sister.

Speaking of Taevy and Samren, the Lord is truly preparing them for their siblings. I think Taevy was a born caretaker so it doesn't surprise me at all to see her caring for Sophi Kate and Sam (the children I watch during the day) so effectively. Today she changed Sophi's clothes and even put a new diaper on her after they played in the sprinkler! But I think even more touching to me is to see her trying to teach the younger children things. Taevy is extremely dedicated and patient when she tries to teach them made up games, or new words, or new motor skills. It blesses my heart. And Samren! What a change we have seen in him! He seems to have been our perpetual baby. But lately he has really begun to get geared up for being a big brother. He says things like, "When my baby boy Canan gets home I will teach him how to..." or "When my baby boy Canan gets home I will help him to..." We're just so proud that Samren is FINALLY beginning to take pride in being a "big boy!" And it's totally cute the way he always calls Canan his "baby boy"--especially considering that there is more than a fair chance that Canan could outsize Samren from the beginning!

I guess that's it for now. I am a ball of emotion. At this very moment I feel blessed, frustrated, excited, tired, scared, patient, AND impatient!

Patience

Why is patience such a hard thing to grap ahold of tightly?! Sometimes I feel so calm and okay with the wait and other times I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't know who my children are soon! It's ironic. The last time I posted about feeling so unemotional about the whole process was the very last day that I felt unemotional about the whole process! =-)

Two weeks have passed since we were fingerprinted at the CIS office in Oklahoma City so we are now entering the time when our approval letter could potentially be in the mail. You should see me combing through each day's mail with a fine toothed comb. And OH THE PAIN of Saturdays when I know I have to wait two whole days for another chance at mail bliss!

Yes my friends, I think my adoption "pregnancy" must be getting close to the end of the 2nd trimester. If you've ever adopted before you know that somehow your heart/body/mind knows when you're getting to another big step in the process. My heart/body/mind are truly ready to know who my children are now. I'm tired of waiting to see their little faces. I'm tired of not knowing how old they will be. I'm ready to buy poor Canan some clothes! [He's got none since he could be 2-5 years old!]

What a happy, happy day it will be when I can share with all of you who our 3rd and 4th children are!

Last Night's Dream

Last night I had a dream that I was stranded in a place with hundreds (maybe thousands) of young people. I was young in the dream (older teenager) and almost all of the other people were young children to older teenagers, with just a sparce dispersment of adults who acted as sponsors for us. Like I said, we were stranded and for whatever reason there was no hope of being sent back to our lives in America. A black market quickly rose up for what food and goods were available. Everybody found little spots here and there to call "home." My home was with another teenage girl (best friend in my dream)--we shared a spot the size of a sleeping bag.

My mom was in the dream and was put in charge of entertaining the children (she was a Children's Minister at our church when I was a child). I kept trying to go to her for support, encouragement, and just plain 'ol mommy love, but she was always too busy. There were things she HAD to do before she was able to play mom to me, and she never got done with the ever growing list of things she had to do.

Additionally, people began to form themselves into groups according to interest....or skin color...or eye color...you name it. Tons of groups. The groups gave themselves names and found ways to dress, and dance, and eat, in order to creat their own sort of culture.

Finally (in my dream) people began to get desperate due to our circumstances. They started hurting or killing eachother over small unimportant things that SEEMED important to them. They started ambushing the "homes" of other people who had done nothing to hurt them. They were angry and sad so they made it their mission (unconsciously) to make others angry and sad.

I woke up from my dream in a huge stupor--I could barely come out of it! The dream has haunted me all day, and I've come to some realizations about it.

How is my dream that different from people who are stranded in nations like Liberia, or Haiti, or dozens of other countries around the world? Countries where their circumstances are so bleak that things once unimaginable are now commonplace. Where mothers don't have the honor of giving their children "mommy love" as much as they need it simply because too much else is required of them simply to survive. Countries where the identity of whatever group you are in becomes more important than ANYTHING else because it is in your identity that you find some semblance of safety. Where they lines between right and wrong are smeared indiscriminantly because of basic human needs. Countries where more than half of the populations are children, and most adults have a skewed since of justice.

How is my dream different from the reality of millions of people in this world? It isn't--except that I had the blessing of waking from my dream.

As Americans it seems that we often judge the actions of those who live in 3rd world countries. We don't understand their bribes and "corruption." We don't know how they could ever "abandon" their babies. We don't undertand why they don't do something to "help themselves" out of the mess that we think they have created.

I propose that as Americans we really don't WANT to understand. Most of the time we'd rather look at "these people" from a distance and pretend that we are in some way superior in our morality. In contrast, I tend to think that we Americans, as the most spoiled citizens of the world, would be even worse to eachother if we were suddenly placed in the same circumstances as those in Liberia, Haiti, and many other countries. We are no better--no more moral--we just have the priviledge of living out our morality wihtout extreme punishment or circumstance. May we all remember that the next time we turn on the news and look on in horror at how "those people" treat eachother.

Ramblings

Sometimes I feel as if the reality of Kendi and Canan is so far off. I remember how REAL Taevy was to me from the moment that we decided to adopt a child from Cambodia. I've posted before about what an emotional wreck I was during her entire adoption process. I know that wasn't healthy, but there is something nice about remembering back to how I loved her so much it hurt.

I know that where I am with this adoption (emotionally) is much more healthy. But with that comes a lot less of those "love them so much it hurts" moments. Right now I seem to be in this sort of trench in the adoption process. We're in a period of waiting with no real action taking place. I want to know who Kendi and Canan are, and yet I feel good about NOT knowing who they are because once I see their faces my level of emotion is going to skyrocket.

Unlike our previous two adoptions I find myself holding back on putting up the kids' beds. Why is that? I guess I'm just protecting myself. I don't question that we will eventually have a Kendi and Canan in our home--not at all! But I guess I question how long that might take. It's hard for me to believe they could be here in only two months. It's much easier not to think that way so that I can protect my heart from hurt when/if delays occur. At the same time, what am I sacrificing? I felt so INSTANTLY in love with Taevy and I know that is in large part because I invested my heart so wholely in her joining our family from the getgo. Will I still have that instant love for Kendi and Canan--the kind of love where you can literally FEEL your heart grow bigger? I have no doubt that love with come, but it will be interesting to see how this new low-emotion adoption will play out in the end.

Kendi's Afghan

Some of you know that I've taken up crocheting to help me through the wait. Actually, it's to help me STOP spending money during the wait! I'm proud to announce that I have completed my first project--a baby afghan for Kendi! It's cock-eyed and I wouldn't want anybody to look too closely at it, but it is what it is--a first try. As I went along I got much better. At one point I thought about redoing the portions of the afghan that were very....beginner. But you know what? I think it tells a story the way it is, missed stitches, lopsided squares and all. I wouldn't want to create a fake first afghan! =-)

Fingerprints!

MARCH 30, 2006 the Gillispie clan headed down to Oklahoma City to get our fingerprints. The last time we fingerprinted was 5 years ago--pre 9-11. Now the Immigration office is in a brand new high tech and HIGH security building. Much nicer atmosphere but also a MUCH longer wait! =-) Let's just say it's no fun sitting in a very cramped waiting area for 1.5 hours with two very antsy preschoolers who just rode two hours in a car. Regardless, we were victorious and were successfully fingerprinted! Yeah! So now we wait for the final step of the immigration process--the notice of pre-approval to adopt a foreign child. Please pray with us that our wait will be less than one month.