Some of the ways my Ghanaian friends are rich....

**They know how to keep smiling and laughing, even when things don't go as planned. Flat tire on the bus you're riding? Just roll with it.

**They know how to simply rest--with no other distractions required (T.V., computer, mp3, etc.). They can lay and think without DOING anything else and still not be bored.

**They are resourceful. They find ways to adapt when something stops working. They are all McGyvers!

**They know how to sit in tight spaces for long periods of time without complaining.

**They know how to "take it slow"--not worrying about tomorrow.

**They remember what family is all about and are there for their family members no matter how distant. Or at least, there for them longer than most American families would be. How many of us would be put out if our 3rd cousin showed up without calling first and stayed for 6 weeks? In Ghana, you're not only expected to welcome your family member, but also to provide them with food and lodging for however long THEY decide to stay.

**They remember what it means to respect their elders. They don't take for granted the not-so-simple task of living a long life, and all the wisdom that is gained from doing so.

**They still include religious and moral education in schools.

**They share what they have, even if they don't really want to, because it's the right thing to do.

**They still remember the joy of hanging out on the porch and talking to neighbors during the cool hours of the day..

I know I've generalized A LOT, but I would say most Ghanaians have these "riches" most of the time. There is always the exception to the rule. And of course we Americans have non-material wealth as well. All in all, I think there is much that each culture could (and should!) learn from the other! I could go into the things I absolutely do not appreciate about the Ghanaian culture, but will save that for another day (or year)!

I am a spoiled American

I am a spoiled America. I've never felt so spoiled as I do coming home from this trip to Ghana. I'm not sure why, as I know my life is less materialistic now than it was before I ever went to Ghana.

What makes me a spoiled American?

**I think my 2004 car is verging on "old" while in Ghana any car past 2000 is considered "new."

**I live in a place that doesn't really get too hot or too cold 98% of the time.

**I have air conditioning in my car and can afford to use it whenever I am the least bit hot or cold, because I don't pay nearly $6 a gallon for gas.

**I have heat and air in my house that can be controlled with the push of a button. No wind or windows, fire or wood required.

**The city water runs to the pipes of my house every single day. If it doesn't, someone will come to my house and fix the problem for me. I don't need a big plastic tank in my yard for days when the city water doesn't come.

**I never have to take a bucket shower or pour a bucket of water in my toilet to make it flush.

**I never have to wait more than 10 seconds for very hot or very cold water to come out of my tap--whatever I wish is there whenever I want it.

**My pipes can not only flush toilet paper, they can also take food that is ground up thanks to my garbage disposal. A garbage disposal!

**I can buy towels for a few dollars. My Ghanaian friends can't. Cheap hand towel--14 cedis. Set of two nice bath towels--63 cedis!

**I have more sets of clothes to wear than there are days in the week. Luxury.

**I can wash my clothes very well by throwing them into a tub with a bit of soap--all done electronically.

**I can dry my clothes in 90 minutes, even if it's raining outside--thanks to my electric clothes dryer.

**I can feed my children 3 meals each day AND these meals are enriched with all sorts of vitamins and minerals.

**I have a TV with video and sound and no "snow" and about 100 channels.

**I can send my kids to school FOR FREE or I can choose to educate them well at home. I have educational options for my children.

**I can pay my mortgage every month. My Ghanaian friends must pay rent 24 months in advance!

**I can get any life-saving medication my family needs for $4 to $50 because of prescription insurance. I don't have to watch Eric or Kendi die because their medication is not available in my country OR accessible to my budget!

**I have the opportunity to pay taxes, which then go to pay for roads and schools and hospitals and foster families and all sorts of other infrastructure I take SO for granted that I can't name them here.

**My house is roughly 1825 square feet of safe living space--a huge amount of space to most families in the developing world.

**I can wash my dishes by moving them from the sink to a machine, and pushing "start."

**I live in a country where people feel sorry for the kids who don't have access to a personal computer--a country where there are actual whole charities dedicated to providing computers to all of the "poor" children of the world.

**Each of my children have their very own raised bed with mattress and sheets and pillow.

**I can get in my nice car and travel down nice roads for 5 minutes to get to a grocery store where there is fresh meat, cheese and other protein sources for a few dollars, and I will have dozens of types to choose from.

**There is a flushing sit-down-style toilet within 5 minutes of me, a.. the time in America. Well, okay...maybe about 90% of the time!

Completely Random Thoughts....

As we left the ground from Accra, heading to Amsterdam, I jotted down random observations to pass the time. For whatever they are worth...

**I like KLM way better than Delta. KLM planes are nicer, with individual TVs and such. They have head rests that bend. Delta planes don't have that. They don't have the nice Dutch crews either (although there are some nice Delta folks--Sandy!). Delta now runs KLM....it's all booked through Delta...but if you go through Amsterdam you get a KLM plane and crew. Just saying...

**I will try not to take for granted how nice a coach KLM seat is compared to a basic Metro Mass Transit (Ghana bus) seat. I mean, I've got air conditioning, a TV, a radio, a blanket, a pillow, water, soda, a meal, a snack, a seat belt, leg room (comparitively), a reclining seat, AND a bathroom! My coach seat feels pretty darn nice right now.

**I feel like I gained a little broth and sis in the G family and a big bro and sis in the F family. Such wonderful good friends I made on this trip!

**Girls that pee (free range!) together, can accomplish anything together!

**Toliet paper. Have you ever thought about what a good invention this is? Never gave so much thought before to being thankful just to have toilet paper (rather than newspaper, or nothing at all). Such a luxury...toilet paper.

**The families I was with during this trip, I believe, were hand-picked by God to be the first through this process. 9 of 10 families could not have handled the ups and downs with 1/2 the grace these families had.

**When I first got to Ghana with the two families I was with, I thought they needed me to know it all. I thought I had to be strong for them even when I had no clue what was going on either (new process for us all). Because of that I, at first, thought there was no "heart connection." Wrong. I love these families! I just had to let them in rather than holding them at arm's distance!

**Our adventures to and from Bolga made me feel all brave and adventurous. Really, that's not at all the truth. I did for two days what my Ghanaian friends do all the time. I take that back! I did what lots of Ghanaian folks would be THANKFUL for. I road a vehicle and made it to my destination in less than a day! There are plenty in Ghana with no means to even take the "basic" bus, or anything faster than a bicycle.

**The next time your back aches from sitting in a plane seat too long, say a thank you prayer. On my flight a woman entering the restroom after me actually passed out, falling against me as I was walking away. Turns out, the woman was in heart failure. She was still handing on when we landed, but it was very serious. This was a woman in her 20's.

Still alive...

Sorry for the lack of blogs. I even wrote a few blogs (by hand--imagine!) on the way home. Everything is going fine here. Catching up as quickly as I can with all things family and AAI, but it's not going as quickly as I would like. Last night after a good day it was like I got SPANKED with a huge wave of post-travel "ickiness". It hasn't left yet. My body HURTS. I have a small fever. Just yucky. So weird that the effects of my Fibromyalgia are so greatly reduced in Ghana, but here in Tulsa, some days, it hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm off to my bed now. SINCERE apologies to my AAI families that are awaiting communication from me. I just have to sleep now.

Love,
A

Home

I'm home. So glad to be here. I missed my family more than ever before.

It's sort of weird that going to Ghana for two weeks somehow protected me from most of the Ghana adoption drama I have become accustomed two the past two months. In some ways, I'm not feeling that into jumping back in. Ugh. It is so emotionally draining.

"Betrayal" is the word of the day. I know adoptive families who were betrayed by an orphanage they trusted. And children who were betrayed by the people who were supposed to take care of them. In a completely unrelated matter, I know of an adoptive family who is currently being betrayed by their agency, but has no idea (and I have no power to notify them).

I've been betrayed before by people I cared deeply about. Hmm...when I think about it, I've been betrayed by my previous adoption agency as well as some folks in Ghana I would have trusted with my life. It sucks.

I'm a control freak. I get sucked into the delusion that I can somehow save people from being betrayed if I keep yelling loud enough. How egotistical of me. I'm sick of yelling. I'm sick of telling myself I can keep bad things from happening to good people. The truth is, that's all out of my hands. All my yelling does is get me in trouble most of the time.

There is a part of me that just wants to cocoon myself. I want to take care of me and mine. I want to block out all of the outside "stuff" in my life and instead sit and cuddle my children. In my free time right now I am reading Amish fiction. Yes! LOL! There is something about the thought of being completely disconnected with the outside world that really speaks to my soul right now.

But the truth is I'm just having a weak moment. I'm tired and jet lagged. I know it's not really me to keep only to my family. I care about the community outside of this house I'm sitting in. So I'll probably keep yelling, and hope that one out of ten times it will do some good for someone out there. I'll remember what a small group of outraged adoptive families accomplished recently--they yelled, and someone listened, and children were saved.

Anita...who realizes this post probably makes no sense to anybody but me and my jet-lagged mind!

To my LH friends....

I just got home and read about all you've been going through. Please know that you'll be in my prayers in the coming weeks. What horrible things your children have lived through. I have no words big enough to express the feelings I have about this. Thank you for standing up for what is right. Thank you for not giving up on the children that made it into American homes, and for working with the proper authorities to make sure the children who were still living that hell will be appropriately cared for now.

Much love,
Anita

Smith Soup sops up Gillispie Kids!

Wondering what my crew are doing while I am in Ghana? They are hanging with the Smith Soup crew in Stillwater. Man, they look like they are having FUN!

Linda, I am SO craving Mexican food now that I've seen the Mexico Joe's pics and heard the word "chips and salsa!" My four should definitely already know "ma'am" and "sir" as we require lots of that too. Don't let them fool you!

Check out what my kids are up to HERE.

The Ghana Way

A very low key day here today, so I've got time to write a bit. There are a few things I want to mention for future travelers. Easy to offend here without having any idea why!

1. Towels. Towels are EXPENSIVE here. If you get a towel in your hotel room, that's a win. Two towels? Well, that's luxury. Most hotel rooms will come with one towel that is expected to be shared by all room occupants. No wash clothes. Maybe a hand towel. Since towels are precious, someone may think something bad of you if they see it strewn on the floor or the bed. Or heaven forbid you should use it to soak up a spill! No! You must us a mop for that! Towels are to be kept as clean as possible. They really are expensive here. I priced a towel set over a year ago at over 50 cedis per washrag, hand towel, and bath towel. Good gift ideas for friends!

2. Titles: It's best to address anybody that is older than you as "sire" or "madam" or "uncle" or "auntie." Otherwise, they may think you think you are something special if you just call someone by their first name. Someone about the same age can be "sister" or "brother" or even "master" (said like "massa").

3. Ghanaians do NOT like to hear children crying. They assume that the child is spoiled OR the parents don't know what they are doing. Crying it out is not a culturally appropriate option here. Drives we Americans crazy! My advice? Do it "the Ghana way" until you get home and then go to town teaching your kiddo the American way. Ghanaians may not say anything, but if they see an American family with a Ghanaian kid, allowing the GHanaian kid to cry it out, they are THINKING something, and it probably isn't favorable. We had one Ghanaian who seriously asked why the family didn't just return the child because the child was throwing fits! Eh!

4. If someone offers you a drink--even a very poor person--take it. You will offend if you don't. It's hard for Americans to take a drink that cost the person 2 cedis when you know they didn't have that money to spend, but it hurts the pride of the Ghanaian person if you don't take that drink. Take it. Drink it. Say thank you. Do the same for your Ghanaian friend when they come to see you!

5. Favor culture. It's offensive here if you DON'T ask your friends for favors. By "friends" I'm talking about anybody you have met and spent more than 5 minutes with. You are allowed to ask them to wash your clothes, or help you get somewhere, or hem a pair of paints. There may be offense if you don't ask these things and they find out you have asked a stranger to do it. But it's like an investment game. The game goes, when they ask you for a favor, you are also EXPECTED to help them in whatever way they need help. Problem is, since you are American, the favor you're asked might be bigger than "Can you wash this shirt for me?" Be prepared!

6. When you offend someone, bite the bullet and humble yourself as much as you can. WAY more than you would in America. I mean, belittle yourself like crazy. "I'm just a stupid American. I need you to teach me the Ghana way. Your way is better. I'm just a small girl who didn't know better.", etc... Whatever. You're just here for a short time. Apologies like this help diminish the overriding attitude that some have that we Americans believe we are better than Ghanaians. It helps American-Ghanaian relations and will make your stay here better as well, if you've offended someone!

7. If you have a room with an air conditioner, and that air conditioner cools your room cooler than it would have otherwise been but not nearly as cool as you want it, that air conditioner is NOT broken by Ghanaian standards! It's probably just not powerful enough to cool the room completely.

8. Discuss all costs up front. Don't leave something as "I'll reduce the cost for you" or "We'll talk about it later" when it's a money matter. Know what your cost will be from the beginning. Later, the person might not give you what you expected as a rate.

9. If you ask for something extra in your hotel, know that the hotel might charge you for it, or think they are doing you a real favor! We got a talk today about how each room comes with ONE towel and ONE blanket and anything extra is a favor (or will come at a cost). It's not like America where we can ask for more and more and more towels, blankets, sheets, etc.. Just be aware of this. Might be worth your while to bring extra towels and a sheet so you don't have to mess with it!

10. Above all, remember that we need to dispel the "Ugly Americans" reputation! What is it to us, really, if we have to do things "the Ghana way" for a short while? Not much. But it might leave the Ghanaians you deal with with a better taste in their mouths about Americans. =-)

I'm so "hot" here....

Okay, I just had to post something about this. This trip wins the prize for the most times being hit on in Ghana. I bring "much fat" which is very appealing to some Ghana guys. Yesterday a guy got out of the tro-tro and is looking all nervous and says he wants to talk to me. I'm like, yes? He says all humbling, "Well, I just want to say that I would like to adopt you as my wife." I laughed and then realize he was sort of serious, at least about liking me "that way."

I seem to be most appealing to the Rasta guys, which is funny because I like them the best too! LOL! They are just so chillin' and cool, right?! The Rasta guy in Osu today was so funny trying to figure out where my hotel was, asked me to come hear his bad play at La Beach on Wednesday. ;-)

But the guy up here at First Junction in Teshie wins the prize. I'm minding my own business buying a watermelon and the guy comes up. He remembers me from another trip but I don't remember him. I play along anyway. Wasn't long before I realized he is REALLY drunk. I could smell the alcohol. He's talking back and forth and I'm trying to be nice. I stall at the fruit stand so he could start walking ahead of me (my hotel is nearby and I don't want him to know where I'm staying).. Well, I walked behind him a little too close and he saw me again as I was walking. He wants to help me carry my melon, etc.. "God bless you. You are so beautiful. I love you." I'm going into my hotel (with a locked gate and security guard) when he's like, "Oh, you can at least give me a hug bye, yeah?" Okay, fine. So I hug the guy. Then he really starts sucking my neck! ACK! There was just a bit of a scene! But hey, there's another one for the story book, right?!!

Anita...feeling so "beau-tee-full!"

You know you've been in Ghana over a week when....

You know you've been in Ghana over a week when you come in from outside, enjoy the cold air conditioned room for about 5 minutes, then have to turn it off because your nose and ears are about to freeze off! [And I'm not talking about it being on the coolest setting to begin with. I had it on 27, and it goes 16-30]!

Babylon by Bus

Babylon by Bus is one of Bob Marley's album titles (in case you didn't
know). We were all WELL acquainted with Bob Marley on the way home
from Bolga to Accra.

Our day started early with 7am breakfast and then off to visit the
court house. A mere 4 hours later we were celebrating two new
families! The day is off to a great start!

We headed back to the hotel to cool down and change clothes before
going to visit the kids' home villages. But it wasn't meant to be.
At 11:30 we got the call that our bus from Bolga to Accra left at 3pm!
That meant that we had about 10 minutes to pack and get out the door
towards the villages--3 to visit, 1.5 hours driving time round trip,
and need to be back by 2pm doesn't leave much time! Of we went...

I won't go into too much detail about the visits here, but they were
surreal. In some ways it was very much like stepping back into time.
The families were all lovely, and welcomed us with open arms. It was
very good to meet Kendi's biological father and 1/2 brothers. He
allowed me into their home to take pictures, which I'm told was a big
privilege. I'm very thankful we'll have those photos for our
daughter.

I'm sure all three of us families brought home precious things from
our trip (mostly memories). I picked up a rock at Kendi's village,
and another mom picked up 12 pebbles at her daughter's village.
Oh--and the last family picked up a chicken at their son's village! A
precious gift that I don't mean to make light of. It's just
that...well...there was no places for a chicken. And it was REALLY
funny to watch everybody chase after the chicken for the initial
catch. Even funnier when the chicken escaped at the second village
only to be chased down again and put back into the trunk! [Sorry
animal activists. This is Ghana.]

After 3 quick visits it was time to fly back to Bolga and check out of
the hotel. Not without drama! There was an issue of not reducing the
rate for nights when there was no air conditioning, but we got out of
there by 2:15, two taxis packed to the gills with luggage for a group
of not-so-light-packing obrunis! Ghanaians aren't usually in much of
a hurry but they sure can hurry when they need to! The taxis scooted
us through town as quickly as they could, all the way to the OA bus
station (don't ask me what OA stands for). We were SO relieved to see
a very nice bus with plenty of cargo room for our stuff. I think we
all took a collected breath of relief. For about 5 seconds.
"Sorry-oh! These are not OA tickets! Your friend has deceived you!"
Oops. We were at the wrong bus station. Darn it! And we were on
time (barely) and everything! We packed everything back into the two
taxis. Yes, the chicken was still hanging out in the trunk.

It was right at 3pm when we pulled into the right bus station and
located the right bus. Not quite as nice, and not quite as much cargo
space, but it was air conditioned (sort of) and it would get us to
Accra (or so we thought)! After we got settled into our seats it was
back out in the market atmosphere to buy bread, bananas, and FanYogo.
We hadn't eaten since breakfast by this time. All hungry, but nothing
of much substance to eat. We were packed in, and feeling somewhat
optimistic by the time the bus took off at 4pm.

Enter "Royal Palace." Ahh....Nigerian soap operas! Not only Nigerian
soap operas, but we got the full Nigerian soap opera introduction,
complete with BLARING volume. I'm not just talking loud. It was
have-to-cover-your-ears blaring! What's sad is that everybody likes
to poke fun of the Nigerian soap operas, but when you are captive on
the bus, you watch them. And you actually want to know what comes
next. We watched "Royal Palace" one, two AND three! I will never
forget one of the theme songs in the movie. Have been humming it all
day.

We made it past Tamale. Seemed to take way too long to ONLY be "still
in Northern Ghana."

Kintampo! [spelling?] Our first break, about 5 hours in and just in
time for my bladder! My friend managed to find us an actual sit down
(but not flushing, no light, and interesting smells) toilet. The
obruni ladies were NOT complaining! We had about 15 minutes at this
stop. In addition to our lunch of bread and bananas we added a dinner
of hard boiled eggs. Not joking--very thankful for that protein.
Eggs never tasted so good!

Back on the bus...headed towards Kumasi.

Three hours later we finally reach Kumasi! Yippee! We were all very
tired by this point but at least we were on the downward slope of the
trip. From Accra to Kumasi only took 4 hours on the "executive" bus
we road on the way up to Bolga. Accra here we come! Uh-oh. Except I
really needed to "go" again, and this time there was no sit down
toilet. There wasn't even a stand up toilet. We were on our
own--completely "free range!" Thankfully it was 2am at a bus stop, so
there were plenty of dark "alleys" between the buses. A and I joined
forces and picked a spot (armed with our trusty cloth as a make-shift
pee-pee shelter). A was just about to go when I looked up and saw
that we had friends observing the obrunis from on top of the buses!
No matter how dark, and obruni hiney WILL glow! We found a better
spot. Ladies and gentleman, I've now joined the millions of African
woman that squat and pee out in the open every day. Yes, I'm proud!
It's been a big fear of mine. I made it 8 trips to Ghana without
having to go "free range." That's got to be some kind of record,
right?

Back on the bus, we are waiting and waiting for the driver to just
leave Kumasi already. Waiting and waiting. Half hour goes by....
Someone comes on the bus and tells us that we must exit the bus and
get on another bus. The bus we're on is stopping in Kumasi. URGH!
Just a bit of chaos getting all of our stuff off of one bus and onto
the other. Not too bad. The bus looked a bit nicer. It was also
fuller though. And we just had to take empty seats wherever they
were. This put me next to a gentleman I didn't know. No problem.
It's only 4 hours, right? Right.

Enter Bob Marley... Oh Bob Marley, I think I have heard every one of
your songs now. We got to know you well from 2-6am. Nothing like
Reggae blaring in your ears in the middle of the night.

We haven't left the station yet and people are getting frustrated.
The driver enters the bus and starts checking people's tickets. This
REALLY ticked off the guy next to me. Like REALLY bad. He starts
SCREAMING at the bus driver that he doesn't know his job and "You are
a stu-peed stu-peed mahn!" Bus driver and guy next door start going
at it verbally. At one point I was pretty sure they were going to go
at it physically. You should have seen me (on the outside seat)
ducking my head so that I wouldn't be in the middle of their fight!

Eventually everybody calms down a bit. Not before guy next door drops
more than a few f-bombs, but hey....we're Bob Marley fans. We can
chill.

We FINALLY leave the bus station. Trying to regroup. Trying to find
the positive vibe again. But I'm tired. And I'm hungry. And I'm
motion sick. And my butt HURTS!

We go a few blocks and then stop again! Hey! What's that about? The
driver opens the door and people start rushing in. What?! There are
no empty seats! Oh. I was wondering what those twenty plastic stools
behind the seats were for. They are going to line people up down the
middle of the aisle and have them sit on these plastic stools to
Accra! Yikes. BUT NO! Enter guy next door (again)! He's like,
"Hey! What do you think you are doing? We are not cattle in the car!
We are not s*it in a bahg!!" He starts leaning over me to get in
these people's faces while at the same time screaming at the driver
who "is a greedy, greedy mahn!" Then he really gets going, rallying
his troops! To the rest of us he shouts, "This is a safety concern!
We must stand for our rights!" (thank you Bob Marley). Everybody
agreed with him completely (although not as loudly as he agreed with
himself). The stand for your rights Bob Marley song had JUST played,
so it was extra funny to we obrunis. After a few minutes the people
were shooed out of the bus and we were finally REALLY on our way. Or?

The thing about Ghana roads is that it's all go and stop. Push the
peddle to the metal until there's a pot hole then slam on your breaks.
For. Thirteen. Hours. [If everything goes as planned.] Still, we are
making progress. I hope to see Accra somewhere in the 6am hour.
There's a stop for gas. There's a stop for this man or that to pee.
There's an unknown reason stop for about 30 minutes in there
somewhere. Then, we really stop. The bus driver gets out on his own.
I don't know about everybody else, but I assumed he had to pee. But
it's taking too long. Poop maybe? Nope. Eventually all the men
decide to get out. This should have been a clue to me, but I wasn't
all with it at this point. About 30 minutes into this stop my friend
tells me we stop because we have a flat tire. A FLAT TIRE?!
SERIOUSLY?! On the bus?! As I'm thinking about it now it occurs to
me that I suppose I should actually be very thankful that we didn't
have some sort of accident riding in a bus with a flat tire!

In America what would we do? Well, I guess they would change the tire
to the spore. But oops! No spare on this bus. Friend assures me we
are almost to Accra. Not even 30 minutes. But we're stuck. They are
calling someone to what? Bring them a BUS TIRE?! Oh! We wait, and
we wait. In the meantime, our ride is already at the bus station in
Accra waiting for us. We have the bright idea to ask him to come and
pick us from the place where the bus is. No go. He has no money and
not enough gas to get where we are. This makes more sense later.
Durn it! We tell him we can get him money if he can just get to us.
No go. We are still hoping the bus tire will come. No go. The sun
is rising and things are going to heat up quickly. We knew it was
going to be a while when the driver turned off the bus. But
oh-so-thankfully he did turn UP the reggae music! Can you say 5
tired, hungry, ready-to-be-there obrunis?

Plan C is to see if we can hire two taxis to take us and our staff to
the bus stop. Nope. No taxis around. Friend says he will walk a
ways and see what he can come up with. In the meantime, a white
tro-tro (van) has parked just next to the bus. They start taking out
the tro-tro seats. Hmm...interesting. Then I notice a goat has
appeared in the tro-tro. Okay. This is Ghana, after all. I get back
on the bus and see that they are actually loading goats onto the
tro-tro. Okay. Still Ghana. It can happen. But...what I don't
realize is that on the other side of the bus they are off-loading the
goats! LOL! ROFL! Yes, 20 goats in the cargo carriage of the bus!
No wonder we had to pay 5 extra cedis to get our luggage under there!
I think 20 goats beats 1 chipper chicken any day, don't you? And this
was the NICE bus!

As we are counting goats a gloriously empty tro-tro pulls around.
Could it be? Yes! It is! Friend has hired an empty tro-tro for us!
He will take us into Accra for the bargain price of 35 cedis. At the
time we thought we were very near Accra and that was a rip off. But
no. Nothing is clear cut on this trip. Anyway...the guys are
off-loading our stuff from the bus and loading it into the tro-tro.

Nature is calling again for the obruni ladies. But it's not so easy
this time. No bus stop. No cover of darkness. We watch in envy and
awe as Ghanaian woman very comfortably stand at the side of the road,
cover themselves gracefully with a cloth, squat down insanely low, and
relieve themselves right on the side of the road, about 3 feet from
the bus. The obrunis are going, "How did she do that?!" while at the
same time looking for a shady spot, making sure we have TP, a group of
three, AND a cloth for our make-shift bathroom stall. Thankfully we
find a dark corner behind someone's shop. We're covered from the
street. Not so covered from behind the shop, where a group of
Ghanaian children have spotted us and are staring in awe. Whatever.
We're passed it at this point. We just have to go!

Mission successful. We're in the tro-tro. Only "less than 30
minutes" from Accra, right? Not right. First of all, we're still
several towns outside of Accra. Second of all, there is HORRIBLE
construction! We are on this awful pot-hole filled dirt road,
swerving in and out of traffic for what seemed like 4 hours but was
probably closer to 2. Maybe the tro-tro ride in itself doesn't sound
so bad, but on top of everything else we'd gone through to get that
far, it felt pretty bad! We were OVER the adventure. We just wanted
to be "home" in nice cushy Accra.

After some additional bartering with the tro-tro driver and more
confusion with the friend that was supposed to meet us at the bus
station, we FINALLY get into Rye Manor hotel. It's taken a mere 17
hours from hotel door to hotel door. Oh. But. Wait.

We go to check in and the new manager of the place asks how long we
are staying (until Friday). Okay, she says. That will be $XXX (money
up front)! What?! No way! Our luggage is off the tro-tro. The
tro-tro is gone. We look like we've been in a wrestling match with an
alligator, and this woman wants money up front? We were in no
mood--not a one of us. With all the gumption and pride I have I tell
her, "Fine. We'll just go to Bora Bora" and start walking out the
door. "Oh wait, oh! Sorry-oh! But why don't you people want to
pay?" We try to explain this isn't the way it's done in the rest of
the world. She tries to explain it is the way it's done in HER world.
In the end, we agree that we can pay one day at a time. Fine. Whew.
Glad I didn't have to follow through on going to a different hotel!

One family goes into their room and drops. Rest trumps food. The
other family and I decide food trumps rest. No water coming through
the pipes so we are all treated to a cold bucket shower. Don't care!
Felt great! Clean and cool! Then we go for a nice COOL late
breakfast/early lunch/MEAL at DutcHotel. Oops. The A/C is out in the
restaurant. But no problem, we sat at the bar. We enjoyed our ICED
drinks and yummy American-ish meals. We make it back to Rye Manor hot
and tired. Ready to crash on our fantastically cool rooms. We ring
the bell to let us in the gate. Except it doesn't ring. Oh crap.
Light's out.

So I'm sitting here, in room #8 (the only room without an exterior
window). It's dark. And still. And hot. My toilet doesn't flush.
My a/c doesn't work. My fan doesn't work. My lights don't work. But
hey! We're in Accra! It can only get better from here!!!

Winding Down...

Hard to believe our time in Bolga is winding down. When we first got here I couldn't imagine having the gumption to make the trek back "home" to Accra. Didn't want to think about it! Now, this place is comfortable and "known." However, it's also pretty boring once you check off the small list of tourist things to do. Today was the first time I'd say it went from "relaxing" to "boring!"

I had hoped to visit Kendi's home village and birth family today, but for a variety of reasons that didn't happen. Instead, I literally sat (or lied) around all day. The group I'm with decided that we would like to eat pizza and go to the movies. No movies here in Bolga, but we did find the pizza!

Swap Fast Food. "Fast" should not be taken literally. Maybe it's fast compared to whipping up a brand new batch of Fufu, but not fast by western standards. Expect to wait at least and hour or an hour and a half for your food from the time you order. Swap is know for it's pizza, believe it or not! LOL! We at "pizza" there a few days ago. It was somewhat like pizza, but not too much. Whether it's because we're two more days into the standard chicken and rice diet, or because the cook was better tonight, we all agreed that the pizza tasted MUCH more like pizza today! Yum! Worth the wait, for sure.

This evening was the coolest weather we've had as well. Again, we're not sure if it's because we're getting used to the weather or because the temps are lower, but we had a killer breeze as the sun was setting. Wonderful. It was a nice way to spend what we hope will be our last evening in Bolga!

Tomorrow there are official appointments, followed by a visit to Kendi's village, and then hopefully it's back to the hotel to pack up and check out and on to the bus station to head back to Accra! We'll be taking the night bus back to Accra, so no worries about the sun beating down on us, even if we should get the un-air conditioned bus. Of course if you know me at all you know that I will never stop worrying about the "what if I need to go to the bathroom" question. So far it's worked out. Fingers (and legs?) crossed!!!

We're hoping to avoid the mega bump our bus hit from Kumasi to Accra. It was SO funny. We were towards the back of the bus, but friends A and M were second to the last seat. The guy behind them had purchased a bucket full of mangoes at one of the stops. We hit this bump and we ALL went air born, including the mangoes! A and M had a lap full of mangoes when it was said and done. The chicken sitting in front of them was none too happy either, I here.

When I was riding on that horrible bus from Kumasi to Bolga you know what popped into my head and made me smile? When I graduated high school my mom got me a book. It was called "Oh, the places you'll go!" (by Dr. Suess). Indeed!!!

The Closest I've Come...

I'm not exactly sure how to write about this. I just know I need to. Sometimes you trust your fingers to get you going.

I was going to write "about a month ago" and then erased it to put "about 6 weeks ago" then ereased it to now say.... The days since January 17th have been some of the most challenging days of my life. January 17th was Eric's kidney transplant. That's not to say that we don't thank the Lord each day for his transplant. And that's not to say I would want it to be any other way. But the doctor's appointments mixed with a newly adopted attaching toddler, mixed with a job that is getting more complicated by the day, makes for difficult times.

I've never before in my married life felt like there wasn't enough of me to go around. But I can honestly say that there hasn't been enough of me this past few months. I've beein in triage mode since January 17th. Since then, one part of my life or another hasn't gotten the attention it needs.

In the last 4-6 weeks, the "thing" in my life that has needed my attention most (or at least yelled the loudest) has been my work. Ghana adoption is going through major growing pains. I've expected these growing pains since the program begun 3 years ago, but I didn't expect them all to come at once! Right now, Ghana is the 12 year old that grows 8 inches in once summer. =-) At the other end of these growing pains, I still believe, will be a stronger and more mature program. But boy, right now it's hard!

During this past several weeks my "job" has received the lion's share of my attention. It seems that every single night "I don't feel like cooking" so either super dad Eric cooks dinner, or we get something out to eat (usually Subway since we're trying to watch our diets). Guilt. I ask the big kids to do the majority of the laundry because I'm so buisy. Guilt. The little kids have watched way more movies than I would usually allow. Guilt. When I'm in survival mode, I push my family into survival mode. And it's not fair. But the decisions are made moment by moment, not week by week. If you said, "Anita, would you sacrifice a month of time with your family in order to get more done with your job?" I would say NO! I would never do that! Except that nobody asked me to give a month of my life away. They only asked me to take one short call during dinner. Or respond to one quick email instead of playing a game. It's moment by moment that is stolen away. And before I know it, a month is gone that I can never get back.

That's just the part where my family has sacrificed. But honestly, in the last month I haven't done what I needed to do to take care of me either. I haven't slept enough. I haven't eaten well enough or been active enough (since work is on the computer or phone).

By the time I got on the plane headed towards Ghana I was already near my breaking point. I was already physically and emotionally exhausted. Before I ever left US soil I was crying because I missed my kids and husband. Because you see, I realized that I haven't really been WITH them for the last month before I came here. I just never took a moment to stop and FEEL their absence. Their absence was filled with all of the work I had to do.

When I got to Ghana I was sick with some sort of virus, and I wasn't used to the heat, and I probably taken too many motion sickness and pain medications. It was too much physically. The day I got here was the closest I've come to passing out. There comes a point when you can't keep on a brave face any longer (and I'm not good at that to begin with). It's a little foggy to me...but I remember thinking I had to stay with it enough to give some kids their Welcome Bags and take pictures. And I just couldn't. I looked at the two families I'm with, with tears in my eyes, and asked them to do it for me. And of course they did, very happily. Still to me, that goes down as a failure.

The next day we were to leave at around 3pm on the "nice" (air conditioned) bus to Bolga. But there wasn't enough people to fill it. So we waited until 5pm. Then 7pm. We waited and waited in one hotel room, all ready to leave the moment we got the call. At 9pm we were headed to the bus stop with hopes of catching a bus to Kumasi. From Kumasi we could surely get a bus to Bolga (quicker than we could get a bus to Bolga from Accra). At midnight we were headed from Accra to Kumasi. At 4am we arrived in Kumasi. At 7am we boarded the "less nice" bus to Bolga. We arrive in Bolga at about 3pm. [Lots of stories left out of this bus trip.] By the time we got to Bolga I was once again to the physical point of being shaky like I would pass out. But isn't it just like God to put the FanYogo (ice cream) guy right there when you need him? It sounds silly but I believe that quick sugar saved me from passing out!

By the time we got settled into our hotel we realized that the restaurant across the street was closed because it was Sunday. It has been about 24 hours since any of us had had real food. We needed food, even though none of us wanted to work for it. Walking to that restaurant was HARD. By the time we got back from dinner I was physically and emotionally SPENT.

I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was concerned for the very worn out families I am with. I was concerned about what their next week would look like. I was missing my children terribly. I missed my husband something horrible. Guilt. I felt so much guilt. I felt as if I had failed everyone in my life. I failed my family, and I had failed my AAI families.

I called Eric and I called my mom. I cried so hard I don't think they understood half of what I was saying. But it didn't matter. What I needed was to hear them say, "It will be okay. I love you. It will be okay, no matter what."

That night, laying in my hotel room in Bolga, sobbing to my closest loved ones....that was the closest I've come to rock bottom. That was the closest I've come to giving up. And it was exactly what needed to happen.

For too long I've put the outcome of my life on myself. I know in my mind this shouldn't be. I should lean on God. But for the past two months I've been leaning on ME. I've been telling myself that *I* have to do it. It's just not true.

The truth of the matter is, if an adoption falls apart, it's not my fault. It's not. I can't lie to myself any longer and tell myself that. It is a lie! I am a Christ-follower. And as a Christ-follower that means that I rely on Him for ALL things. It means that I should give ALL things over to Him. I do my best to be His hands and His feet, but He is the one that makes things happen. I can do no thing without Him. No. Thing.

Forgive me AAI parents for just speaking of myself here. But I have to say it for ME. If my entire job falls apart; if there is no more Ghana adoption; if there is no more adoption work; I will be okay. My Jesus tells me not to worry about tomorrow. If I live each day as He would have me live it, and as a result my job falls apart, so be it. I know there is a call upon my life to care for orphans. I know that the Lord will always make a way for me to do that, even if it looks different than it does now. [No I'm NOT quitting. No Ghana adoptions aren't shuttind down! I'm just thinking the "what if".]

Some things have to change when I get home. I've had more time to sit and think the past week than I have in the past month. I've realized now how very much I've missed my husband and my children. It cannot stay this way. I want to play games with my kids. I want make dinner. I even want to fold my laundry! I want my family to be my biggest priority again.

It's kind of sad that I had to come to northern Ghana to get to rock bottom and reprioritize my life, but if that's what it too, I am thankful.

[Forgive spelling and grammatical errors. Not going to spell check or proof read.]

Amazing....

From a small hotel room in far northern Ghana I have internet thanks to a USB plug-in modem. At one point today I was writing an email to the US Embassy in Accra when my daughter pops in to instant message. Then my husband, from a different city in Oklahoma. Then my friend John, in Accra. Then another friend in the U.S.. All at one time! Wow! Amazing.

Paga, Nada

Well, today's big adventure with the Paga crocodiles didn't happen for me. I heard it was a fun adventure for the other families though. Can't wait to see their pictures/video! As for me, I started working on the computer late last night and ended up working into the morning. By the time I put my head down to sleep my brain was too busy with thoughts to relax and sleep. I headed out for a 7am breakfast with sleeping pill in hand--ready to get my "night's sleep" this morning! The others headed out for Paga without me.

Sleep or crocs? Sleep or crocs? Sleep won. =-)

I was disappointed when I heard that the group also went to Sarigu Woman's Village. I was really looking forward to that. They said it was interesting but "not all that." Glad I didn't miss the best outting of the trip!

At around 4pm we went to the Bolgatanga Crafts Village. This place was made for we touristing obrunis! It's like a mini version of the art and culture center in Accra (very mini). No pressure. It's full of the handicrafts we Americans go ga-ga over. We only got to stay a few moments before we needed to head out to the next venue, but the moms and I are wanting to go back tomorrow for sure. I really want to buy some Bolga baskets if I can figure out how to get them back to the US.

After the Crafts market we went out to visit a local foster home. It was really nice. What made it so nice was the "guinea savannah" surrounding the place. [I found out that's the official name for the landscape around here.] It was wide open and enjoyed a breeze that we just don't feel in the more inhabited areas here. It would be a nice place to live.

Final stop during daylight hours was to the Bolga Market. Every 3rd day is market day. I thought it was every 5th, but 3rd is what we were told today. It was almost 6 by the time we got there, but we were able to get a feel for a traditional market. We were able to buy very inexpensive cloth (2 cedis for eacy "yard", each "yard" being about 2 US yards). Someday I will need to hire someone to make a quilt out of all of my Ghana clothes! They are irresistable even though I don't really have anything to do with them except look at them. I was also able to stock up on pure shea butter. You cannot beat the price of N. Ghana pure shea butter! They put them in little balls. About 4 golf ball sized balls were 20 pesewas. I got 1 cedi worth of shea and figure it's about 12 ounces. Still need to find a calabash to store it in. Right now it's hardening in the fridge of my hotel room, but it was turned into mush by the time we got home tonight!

To end our evening we went to "Swap Fast Food"--Bolga's home for pizza. LOL! After a few days of rice and chicken or rice and guinea fowl I would say it was a pretty good likeness to pizza. There was cheese (crispy, chedderish cheese) and the crust was nice and cripsy. No tomato sauce to take notice off. The chicken on it was good, but next time I think I will order it minus the eggs. ;-) Still, I happily finished it all! It's the first time I've really felt "full" here. Usually I end up eating the fish/chicken/guinea fowl/goat and a small portion of the rice, because the rice is too spicy for me.

As we walked out of Swap Fast Food we noticed lightening! And before long there were little rumbles of thunder! Just now, the smell of rain wafted into my room. The Ghanaians think that rain tonight will bring cooler temps tomorrow. I tend to think that the rain will just make it steamier tomorrow. I'll let you know!

Tomorrow will be another relaxing day. The thing is, if you go out and do something for a few hours the heat drains you so much that you don't feel like doing anything the rest of the day! Tomorrow we will eat a late breakfast, and try to get back up to the craft market. Late afternoon we hope to head out to visit Kendi's home village. I don't feel at all nervous about that at this point, but ask me again right before we leave! Kendi's father has been shown photos of her since her homecoming (when my friend visited her family) and I'm told that he didn't believe she was the same child. I'll take that as a compliment. =-)

Anybody who needs to email me should do so at anita@adoptionadvocates.org. I'm not being able to send or receive from my cox.net address here. the AAI address goes through gmail so it is working fine.

Love to all,

Anita

Monday night in Bolga

Hi all,

Ah, so thankful for an extremely restful day. I was so near my breaking point last night. We Americans are so weak (for the most part) when it comes to not only the physical expectations of northern Ghana, but also the emotional expectations! Things happen that make my heart start to beat like crazy (stress) and my Ghanaian friends are like, "Oh! No problem! It is all fine. Just take it slow." And, almost all the time they are right.

I find that I have to give myself over to Ghana while I am here. Forget being American. Forget being a worrier. Forget the comforts of home. Get down to basics. Did you eat today? Did you stay alive? Okay then! Thank God! I'm so lucky for it! And it's true. We just never have to live that way in America. We are so spoiled that we don't realize how spoiled we are!

In America I complain because my feet hurt terribly (plantar's faciitis). Here, I'm sure my feet still hurt, but everything else hurts too so I don't feel my feet, in particular. And I don't have time to think about everything else hurting, because I'm too busy just trying to put one foot in front of the other. Water. Food. Moving air (if you are lucky). Those are priorities. Hurting feet? Who has time to think about that?!

Tomorrow we are supposed to go visit our friends the crocodiles in Paga! I still haven't decided if I should touch the croc. Will make that decision when I am there. It is also market day here tomorrow, so we will visit the Bolga market scene and hopefully come away with some one of a kind treasures for our families to remember this place by.

The hotel here is an oasis in an otherwise very difficult (for we weak Americans) place. Is there parts of the wall chipping off? Sure. Are there lizards and ants and other "friends?" Yep. But there is also electricity, and running water, and a fan to keep the air moving, and even air conditioners to keep the temps cooler than outside (although except for my smaller room, not as cool as we would keep things in America). If I walked into this place in America I would call it a bad name and walk back out. Here, I am so thankful. This place has everything we NEED and a whole bunch that we WANT! Wow! We are spoiled, eh?! [Sorry, I can't help typing with a bit of a Ghanaian flare when I'm here. I even start thinking in Ghanaian English after a few days.]

So that's it. Monday night from Ghana. Nothing too adventurous or note-worthy, but after a day FULL of adventures and note-worthy stories yesterday, I'm so very thankful for an uneventful day! I've written so many witty blog posts in my mind since I got here, but tonight isn't the night for them.

Love to all,
Anita

Made it to Bolga!

Wow. What a journey the last few days have been. At the moment my computer battery is running low, so I will type as much as I can as fast as I can! I've got a friend that is going to look for a plug adapter. They said "when you are up this way, sometimes you just have to break it off" (speaking off the third prong my computer plug has)! LOL! I don't think so. ;-) Somehow I'm not worried. Things always seem to work themselves out here if we "take it slow" (in other words, don't worry).

The trip up to Bolga was something I'm sure I will take many funny stories away from, but something I don't personally ever desire to experience again!!! We learned a TON for the future though. The night bus to Bolga doesn't run on Sundays unless there happens to be enough people. There weren't. We thought we would have to wait and take a bus that would be arriving in Bolga at 5am Monday morning. That was cutting it close since there was paperwork to sign. Eventually we were on the bus going to Kumasi. Kumasi is Ghana's 2nd largest city. We could catch a Bolga bus from there. That sounded better than waiting around.

We were on the "executive bus" to Kumasi! I don't think we realized at the time just how good we had it on that bus, and we thought we had it good at the time! The seats at reclined, and there was plenty of leg space. It was sort of like first class on a domestic flight (not as good as first class on an international flight). It was a very quick 4 hours to Kumasi.

We got to Kumasi at around 4am. It was fairly quiet at the bus stop, but plenty of people were waiting for buses. In fact, the Bolga bus was already full!!!! No worries though, the bus to Bawku had seats for us (Baku is farther than Bolga and they will let us off in Bolga). The bus to Bawku was a far cry from the first class seats we had from Accra to Kumasi! And we didn't get the worst bus! Some of the busses had hard plastic seats. Ours, at least, had pleather seats with a bit of cusion.

At around 7am we started boarding the bus. Wow. Maybe it wasn't chaotic by Ghanaian standards, but it certainly was by US standards! All of the luggage did not fit below the bus, so what was left had to go in the bus with the people. There was a LOT left! Our seats happened to be towards the back of the bus. We were the "lucky" ones that had things stuffed in the aisles, and in front of the emergency door, and under our feet, etc. It was crazy! Yes, there was a chicken. I know you were all wondering! LOL! We were stuffed in there like sardines. My 5'5" body was just packed in. I can't imagine how the 6'3" dads were feeling!

In the morning the cool air from the open windows did well enough to keep people from getting overheated. Didn't quite work well enough to keep the woman behind me from vomiting several times, but that's another story! Mid-way we stopped at a rest stop for 15 minutes. That was the shortest 15 minutes on record, but we were thankful for a flushing toilet and cold drinks. It wasn't long before we were stuffed in ready for the 2nd portion of the ride.

The afternoon was miserable. People kept saying we were 1.5 hours from Bolga....for way more than 1.5 hours! The sun is just stifling here this time of year. "Strong" is the perfect work for it. I've never understood how people wear long sleeves in the hottest environments before, but now I get it. Your skin feels like it's being penetrated by the sun. It hurts, even if you don't get a sunburn. I could have sworn my face and arm were severely sunburned yesterday, but it was just the intensity of the sun literally hurting my skin! Anyway, the last 2.5 hours of the trip the sun was pouring in on me (in the window seat) so I covered my face and arms with a cloth. Under cloth it was hard to breath. Outside of the cloth, the sun hurt. It was a LONG 2.5 hours.

By the time we got into Bolga I think all of us Americans were very close to the end of our ropes. I know I was, and I didn't even have a child to care for! I was feeling close to heat exhaustion when we stepped off the bus. The FanYogo guy appeared out of nowhere like an angel from heaven! LOL! I was so thankful to hold that frozen icy treat, and suck some of the sugar sweetness down to keep me going! Sammy and Andrella enjoyed the rest. =-)

We were so exhausted by the time we got to the hotel late yesterday afternoon. Emotionally, physically, everything. Exhausted. I guess I should only speak for myself, but I'm pretty sure the families I'm with felt somewhat similar to me.

But it was Sunday. And on Sunday people aren't open for business as much. Not too great when the A/C in your room isn't working! 2 of 4 rooms had A/C issues. My room was okay. The other two families suffered through a very very hot night (although they assure me they were okay and I should stop worrying). I would have been miserable! There was electricity and fans at least. Amazing how quickly you start to appreciate the simple luxury of moving air once you're here.

We were hungry. There had been a few bananas, a few granola bars, a fried egg here and there...for 24 hours. Everybody needed a meal. But everybody was so exhausted that nobody really wanted to WORK for the meal. The restaurant very near our hotel was closed (Sunday). Joha tells us there is a restaurant "just a short walk" away. Do not trust Ghanaians when they tell you this! LOL! A Ghanaian "short walk" and an American "short walk" is not the same! LOL! It was about a 15-20 minute walk. Not so bad on a nice sunny American day after enjoying your central air and good food and roomy car. VERY BAD after riding in a stuffed to the gills Ghanaian bus for 9 hours! I made it, but boy I was tired! Thankfully, the hotel owner gave the families a ride. We took taxis back to the hotel (which I'm sure our Ghanaian friends were laughing at on the inside).

After what seemed like a neverending day we all finally collapsed to our prospective rooms. Oh, except that they give a free breakfast here. When you don't know exactly where your next meal will come from, you want that free breakfast! But we did NOT want to wake up at breakfast time to eat it! It was so funny talking to the hotel owner, asking him if we could have our breakfast at noon. He said, "But breafast is in the morning." It was beyond him. I finally said something like, "Can we take the breakfast food for our lunch instead of our breakfast." OH! That registered. Then he said sure, "Arranging this is the least of your concerns." Yea! So we all enjoyed a wonderfully long sleep and met around noon to enjoy our breakfast for lunch. =-)

The rest of today will be a recoup day. Nothing to do. Just sit in the cool and relax. Our big chore of the day will be walking out into the heat to cross the street and go to dinner. I think we can handle it. =-)

I don't know what the rest of our days in Bolga will look like. Funny how once you get here you give up the notion of planning. Just go with the flow. We don't have anything we HAVE to do for several days. So, we'll decide as each day comes. Fine. And somehow, it will all work out. I can say that now, after 12 hours of sleep and many hours in the fan and a/c. I wasn't saying that last night in my exhausted state!

Love to all.
Anita
P.S. Taevy, Samren, Bright, Kendi, I love you and miss you!!!!!

Made it to Bolga!

Wow. What a journey the last few days have been. At the moment my computer battery is running low, so I will type as much as I can as fast as I can! I've got a friend that is going to look for a plug adapter. They said "when you are up this way, sometimes you just have to break it off" (speaking off the third prong my computer plug has)! LOL! I don't think so. ;-) Somehow I'm not worried. Things always seem to work themselves out here if we "take it slow" (in other words, don't worry).

The trip up to Bolga was something I'm sure I will take many funny stories away from, but something I don't personally ever desire to experience again!!! We learned a TON for the future though. The night bus to Bolga doesn't run on Sundays unless there happens to be enough people. There weren't. We thought we would have to wait and take a bus that would be arriving in Bolga at 5am Monday morning. That was cutting it close since there was paperwork to sign. Eventually we were on the bus going to Kumasi. Kumasi is Ghana's 2nd largest city. We could catch a Bolga bus from there. That sounded better than waiting around.

We were on the "executive bus" to Kumasi! I don't think we realized at the time just how good we had it on that bus, and we thought we had it good at the time! The seats at reclined, and there was plenty of leg space. It was sort of like first class on a domestic flight (not as good as first class on an international flight). It was a very quick 4 hours to Kumasi.

We got to Kumasi at around 4am. It was fairly quiet at the bus stop, but plenty of people were waiting for buses. In fact, the Bolga bus was already full!!!! No worries though, the bus to Bawku had seats for us (Baku is farther than Bolga and they will let us off in Bolga). The bus to Bawku was a far cry from the first class seats we had from Accra to Kumasi! And we didn't get the worst bus! Some of the busses had hard plastic seats. Ours, at least, had pleather seats with a bit of cusion.

At around 7am we started boarding the bus. Wow. Maybe it wasn't chaotic by Ghanaian standards, but it certainly was by US standards! All of the luggage did not fit below the bus, so what was left had to go in the bus with the people. There was a LOT left! Our seats happened to be towards the back of the bus. We were the "lucky" ones that had things stuffed in the aisles, and in front of the emergency door, and under our feet, etc. It was crazy! Yes, there was a chicken. I know you were all wondering! LOL! We were stuffed in there like sardines. My 5'5" body was just packed in. I can't imagine how the 6'3" dads were feeling!

In the morning the cool air from the open windows did well enough to keep people from getting overheated. Didn't quite work well enough to keep the woman behind me from vomiting several times, but that's another story! Mid-way we stopped at a rest stop for 15 minutes. That was the shortest 15 minutes on record, but we were thankful for a flushing toilet and cold drinks. It wasn't long before we were stuffed in ready for the 2nd portion of the ride.

The afternoon was miserable. People kept saying we were 1.5 hours from Bolga....for way more than 1.5 hours! The sun is just stifling here this time of year. "Strong" is the perfect work for it. I've never understood how people wear long sleeves in the hottest environments before, but now I get it. Your skin feels like it's being penetrated by the sun. It hurts, even if you don't get a sunburn. I could have sworn my face and arm were severely sunburned yesterday, but it was just the intensity of the sun literally hurting my skin! Anyway, the last 2.5 hours of the trip the sun was pouring in on me (in the window seat) so I covered my face and arms with a cloth. Under cloth it was hard to breath. Outside of the cloth, the sun hurt. It was a LONG 2.5 hours.

By the time we got into Bolga I think all of us Americans were very close to the end of our ropes. I know I was, and I didn't even have a child to care for! I was feeling close to heat exhaustion when we stepped off the bus. The FanYogo guy appeared out of nowhere like an angel from heaven! LOL! I was so thankful to hold that frozen icy treat, and suck some of the sugar sweetness down to keep me going! Sammy and Andrella enjoyed the rest. =-)

We were so exhausted by the time we got to the hotel late yesterday afternoon. Emotionally, physically, everything. Exhausted. I guess I should only speak for myself, but I'm pretty sure the families I'm with felt somewhat similar to me.

But it was Sunday. And on Sunday people aren't open for business as much. Not too great when the A/C in your room isn't working! 2 of 4 rooms had A/C issues. My room was okay. The other two families suffered through a very very hot night (although they assure me they were okay and I should stop worrying). I would have been miserable! There was electricity and fans at least. Amazing how quickly you start to appreciate the simple luxury of moving air once you're here.

We were hungry. There had been a few bananas, a few granola bars, a fried egg here and there...for 24 hours. Everybody needed a meal. But everybody was so exhausted that nobody really wanted to WORK for the meal. The restaurant very near our hotel was closed (Sunday). Joha tells us there is a restaurant "just a short walk" away. Do not trust Ghanaians when they tell you this! LOL! A Ghanaian "short walk" and an American "short walk" is not the same! LOL! It was about a 15-20 minute walk. Not so bad on a nice sunny American day after enjoying your central air and good food and roomy car. VERY BAD after riding in a stuffed to the gills Ghanaian bus for 9 hours! I made it, but boy I was tired! Thankfully, the hotel owner gave the families a ride. We took taxis back to the hotel (which I'm sure our Ghanaian friends were laughing at on the inside).

After what seemed like a neverending day we all finally collapsed to our prospective rooms. Oh, except that they give a free breakfast here. When you don't know exactly where your next meal will come from, you want that free breakfast! But we did NOT want to wake up at breakfast time to eat it! It was so funny talking to the hotel owner, asking him if we could have our breakfast at noon. He said, "But breafast is in the morning." It was beyond him. I finally said something like, "Can we take the breakfast food for our lunch instead of our breakfast." OH! That registered. Then he said sure, "Arranging this is the least of your concerns." Yea! So we all enjoyed a wonderfully long sleep and met around noon to enjoy our breakfast for lunch. =-)

The rest of today will be a recoup day. Nothing to do. Just sit in the cool and relax. Our big chore of the day will be walking out into the heat to cross the street and go to dinner. I think we can handle it. =-)

I don't know what the rest of our days in Bolga will look like. Funny how once you get here you give up the notion of planning. Just go with the flow. We don't have anything we HAVE to do for several days. So, we'll decide as each day comes. Fine. And somehow, it will all work out. I can say that now, after 12 hours of sleep and many hours in the fan and a/c. I wasn't saying that last night in my exhausted state!

Love to all.
Anita
P.S. Taevy, Samren, Bright, Kendi, I love you and miss you!!!!!

Here!

I'm here! Posting this from the bus, on the way to Kumasi (which will hopefully eventually get us to Bolga)! More later. Love to all.

Heading to Ghana--Prayers Appreciated

Hi all,

It's about 3:15am. I'm supposed to get up in 1 hour 45 minutes, but I haven't been to sleep yet. Don't suppose I will. I woke up today with a very sudden cold/flu-like "thing" going on. No big fever, thank goodness, but I feel really yucky. On top of that, I did something to my back tonight while packing. I've never really hurt my back before, so I'm not really sure I hurt it hurt it. I just know it hurts--it hurts when I'm sitting and when I'm laying down. Lower back.

Some people believe that satan attacks. Others don't. I do. And I feel like he is attacking me now. Gosh....I'm crying now. I feel pretty down and pretty scared to get on the plane in a few hours with the way I'm feeling. Please, I would really appreciate your prayers for this trip.

On top of the physical, the thought of leaving my kids really hurts this time. I'm not ready to leave Kendi. She's not ready for me to leave her. I know she will be in excellent hands while I'm gone. But she doesn't have a clue what "two weeks" means. She's going to wake up in a few hours and I won't be here. Then she'll go to a whole nother two weeks, and neither Eric or I will be there. What is going to go through her head and heart? Will she think this is yet another transition in her life? I hope not. I know my friend Linda and my big kids will keep talking about how much mommy and daddy love her. It just scares me. I left Taevy after she had been home for 10 months (to get Samren) and it was horrible for her attachment. I don't want to relive that with Kendi. Please cover her in your prayers.

Taevy and Samren and Bright all "get" what it means when mommy goes to Ghana. They know I'll come back. But this will be their first time not to be with me OR Eric. Taevy is mature enough to realize that's going to be a tough one. I don't think the boys have thought about it yet.

Eric too, is pretty sad about this trip. He doesn't like the thought of being without his kids for 2 weeks. He'll be staying with his mom and dad during that time. He's never ever had to be away from his kids for more than a week since he became a dad 9 years ago--and that was just 6 days when he had his kidney transplant. He doesn't talk too much about it except to say that he really doesn't like it. I know his heart is hurting and that he will miss the kids terribly.

In case you're wondering why my family has to go through this when I go to Ghana...with Eric's low vision and diabetes, it's just not the safest plan for him to care for the children by himself. Because he's legally blind he can't drive. Someone needs to take him to work and to medical appointments. And someone needs to watch the kids during the day. His parents usually fill that role, but his parents are now super busy caring for his grandparents. They can help with Eric and the transportation, but cannot care for the kids this time.

We are super thankful for the Smith family (our friends about an hour away from us) for taking on the 4 kiddos. The kids consider them extended family anyway, and love the thought of being on a farm for two weeks. I know they will have a ton of fun. Plus, for Taevy and Samren, there is the added bonus of hanging out with other kids from Cambodia and Vietnam! Samren even gets to spend time with Naomi, his orphanage-mate from Vietnam. Yes, he thinks one day they will marry. =-)

I am pretty sure I won't have as much internet access on this trip as I have in the past. Blog updates may be few and far between. Or maybe not? I never know until I get there. But with a week in Bolga, and without the awesome wireless internet we had at Eban House, I'm just guessing my internet time will be more about dealing with important emails than the fun stuff (like updating the blog). You know me. I journal everyday anyway, and will just post the journal entries once home if I don't get to update at the time.

Thank you in advance for your prayers for my physical and emotional strength. I really need them this trip. Will be back on the 24th of April.

Anita

I know you just come for the pics (Easter)

This is what happens when the dads hide the eggs TOO well, and said eggs have a dollar worth of coins in them. The parents end up hunting the eggs!
Pretty as a princess.

Bright is telling Kendi all about this Easter stuff.

Is it a money egg?

How did she get so big? Why isn't she still 2?

Sammy is giving Kendi advice on how to hunt correctly.

Bright found one!

It's a money egg!

10 cousins, only one crying. Guess who?!

My beauties.

Taevy took these two pics of Bright and Kendi! They are awesome!

Easter Baskets.

First jelly bean.

My thoughts exactly Kendi. What WAS I thinking with this hairdo?!

Bright and cousin Mia (from Guatemala) are BEST friends.

The little kids had a blast helping Grandma shell the Easter eggs!

They were super pretty.

Bright said, "Mmm! I eat it ALL!"

Kendi says, "I do it!"

Best friends. This was at the Easter egg hunt.

He is risen, indeed!!!

I don't think there is hardly anything more touching than being in church on Easter morning when someone says, "He is risen!" and everybody else responds, "He is risen, indeed!" All Christians feel like such a "team" when we say that! Hmm...I wonder if that call and response was the first "team" call and response? Maybe "Boomer!" "Sooner!" is rooted in "He is risen!" [Just kidding. But it still makes me smile.]

We had a lovely Easter weekend. It was good to be away from the computer for a few days. Extra good to be in the company of my mom for a few days.

Friday night the children dyed Easter eggs. Kendi thought it was really fun to see how high up she could drop the egg into the dye. She ruined her dress, but oh well. She is in that very independent stage where "I do it!" is a very common sentence. She did it all right!

I made some off-handed comment about how I used to blow out eggs so that I could make decorations (mostly Christmas tree decor, as I remember). That led to me wasting 20 minutes of my life to blow out ONE egg for Taevy to color and save. Oh my! How in the world did I used to do that?! At one point they said my lips were turning blue from blowing so hard! LOL!

The next morning we went to a church Easter egg hunt that was mostly a flop but was good for a few minutes of fun, and a very few photos.

One of the cool things about going to my mom's house is that she and my step-dad always offer to watch the kids while Eric and I go and do something. Usually it's just a trip to wal-mart. But a trip to wal-mart without 4 kids is a TREAT! So Eric and I went shopping for some new boots for him. And it was nice and relaxing. And we came home with much more than boots (it was wal-mart after all)!

Saturday evening all of the dyed eggs were stripped of their shells and made into egg salad. Bright and Kendi thought it was the BEST to help Grandma do that task. Grandma thought it was the best too. I only tasted a few egg shells in my egg salad sandwich the next day. =-)

Sunday morning. Resurrection day! Honestly, I was a total stress ball before church. I have this need for holiday mornings to be perfect. And it wasn't. I did Kendi's hair in an awful hair style the night before, so we took that out. But I had no product to make her free hair look defined. I forgot my own hair product too! We made do, but still... Taevy threw a fit about me doing her hair. I didn't have time to paint my toe nails. Yep, satan really got the best of me Sunday morning. I got totally out of whack over all of these stupid little things. THEN what really set me over the top was that I didn't have time to take "before church" Easter pictures. Taevy took a few for me, but that meant that I only got little kid before church pictures. [She did an awesome job though, I must say.] Then as we were running late and should have been out the door my mom clicked a few full family photos. But Kendi was crying, and I didn't get any on my camera, and they are probably no good. [I am liking the word "and" tonight for some reason.] By the time we walked out the door I was spitting mad at my family. I spent the entire drive to church griping at them. Isn't that awful?

So of course when we got to church I was feeling extremely guilty. I ruined Easter morning! Not the hair, or the toe nails or the pictures--they didn't ruin it. *I* ruined it with my attitude!!! Once the guilt set in so did the tears. I'm telling you! Wow. When the people turned around to shake my hand during the "welcome" they took one look at me, looked down, and moved to the next person! LOL! I cried the first 15 minutes or so of church.

After my good cry I settled down. The kids had a good time. We were all together to celebrate our Lord. That's the important thing. Thankfully I realized it before I ruined the ENTIRE day.

After church the whole family came over (kids and grandkids) for egg salad and an Easter egg hunt. It was a very nice time. 10 of 13 grandkids were there, so we got a pretty cool picture of all the kids together. Kendi was a hoot during the Easter Egg hunt. Some of the eggs had money in them. Kendi figured that out very quickly. She would find her color (each child had their own color), and shake the egg. If it had money she would go, "Money, money, money, money!" If it didn't have money, she'd look at the egg as if it were rotten, would toss it into the basket without a second thought, and look for more money eggs. LOL! Of course, once she learned that the non-money eggs had candy in them that was a totally different story!

After an good, but exhausting weekend, we headed home. We got home around 8pm last night. My time is running out before the trip to Ghana. I am so NOT ready. It's hard to not only get myself packed, but also to pack for the kids to leave home for 2 weeks, and think about how much food the dogs will need; will anybody run out of medicine; do I have enough diapers and pull-ups; who is taking Eric where he needs to go; lots to do. Might be an all-nighter the night before the trip.

Anita....who has eaten way more than her share of laffy taffy in the last day, but is 18 pounds down over all!
P.S. Under the "not a good idea" catagory: Not a good idea to wax your eye brows with a new type of wax, after not waxing your eye brows for months, two days before Easter. This will leave you with BURNED bright red skin above your brows and on your upper eye lids. This is not a good look for Easter! A day after Easter, your burned skin will begin to peel away (think bad sunburn on your eye lids)! This is not a good look for an upcoming trip to Ghana!!!

Follow-Up on "the child's" comment.

BTW, I usually use names on my blogs. But in this instance, my child is really embarrassed now over the racial comment that was made. I figure I better not add insult to injury by giving the child's name. Anyway....

On the way to Kansas for Easter, we got to have another talk about the racial comment my child made. Turns out, it was from a commercial. There was a commercial on TV about some upcoming show. Not sure if it was a documentary type show or a drama. Anyway, the commercial was "full of bleeps" and was about people escaping from prison. All of the people saying bad words and all of the people breaking out of prison were black (in the commercial). From that, my child internalized that all people in prison were black. Therefore (in the child's mind) black people must be more prone to doing bad things. Therefore (in the child's mind) we must be fearful that the black people in our neighborhood will steal our bikes if the door is left open.

Ugh. Utterly ridiculous. Amazing how one stupid commercial (that was probably showing during a time BEFORE it should have been showing!) changed my child's view of an entire race. I guess I should really be thankful that comment came out now, in the safety of our home, where the misconception could be addressed and corrected.

Anita

I wish this were an April Fool's joke...

I am so.....sad, disgusted, embarrassed, shocked, (pick one!) about something one of my children said today.

They were playing outside and I called them in for lunch. The garage door was opened (with all the bikes and such). The front door was also open (so I can see them playing). They all came in and sat down. I pulled the front door to because the sun was bugging me. One of my big kids says, "Mom! You can't close the front door! Someone might steal our stuff!" I told the kiddo that there was no reason to worry about that. We live in a safe neighborhood. Everybody knows everybody. It's just stuff. This child...this sensitive, intelligent, culturally diversified, formerly bullied for their ethnicity child....looks at me like I am absolutely stupid and says, "MOM! THERE ARE BLACK PEOPLE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!"

Ach. I'm crying right now because it's so hard to even put that "out there." My child said THAT. My MINORITY child said that! The child has never lived in a home that teaches anything like that! Not only do we not teach that, but we DO actively teach the alternative to THAT! The child does not have family or friends (that I know of!) that would EVER have that attitude! The child's best friend has three internationally adopted siblings, two of which are from Africa. So none of the child's other culturally-diversified friends would say that right? Except that my child DID say it. And my child doesn't look like a racist either!

I have been wracking my brain tonight trying to figure out how my child received that message. Could a child absorb that sort of thought simply by seeing what the "bad guys" on TV usually look like and who the media chooses to highlight when crimes occur? I am not teaching my child that attitude. No BODY in the child's life is teaching that attitude. What else could it be?

Of course we ALL stopped everything at the moment of that comment and had a talk. I said, "How would you like it if, when Bright is a teenager walking down the street, people think he is going to steal their bikes just because he's black?" The child looks at me like I'm stupid and says, "But we know Bright! He's Bright!" And there it is. Outside this house people have color that defines them (in the child's mind). Inside this house, nobody is defined by color--they are defined by action. We talked about lots of stereotypes, and how you can't ever tell who a person really is just by looking at them. Blah, blah, blah....the same sorts of conversations we've had over and over in our house since they were all babies anyway! They know this stuff!

But that comment still came out. That child is still learning negative imaging of black people from *whatever* is observed on the exterior of her life experience (media, trips to wal-mart, whatever...). Some people try to say that racism is no longer a part of everyday American culture. Bull crap. BULL CRAP! If my internationally adopted, ethnic minority child can come up with a racist comment, anybody could! And it makes me mad! But I don't know what I can do about it...