Kendi Medical Update

We got some GREAT news a few days ago! Kendi's HIV viral load has gone from 106,000 to 300! Only 300 copies left of that nasty virus in her little body! We fully expect that in the next month or so she will be "undetectable." [That basically means that she will have 1-50 copies of the virus, which would result in a negative result on your every-day HIV test. The copies would be too few to be "detected." She will always be positive, but they have to use a more sensitive test to get a positive result.]

Other good news is that her liver enzymes are all coming back down to normal. No Hep B. No Hep C!

She's got a pretty low count on vitamin D, so we started supplements for that (when good 'ol fashioned sunshine didn't do the trick). Problem is, she can't stand the taste of the vitamins and has started vomiting them. The g-tube doesn't do a lot of good when she vomits vitamins (and the meds she took earlier)! URGH! Super Nurse Nancy and Amazing Dr. S are working to find a solution there. Hoping there is a liquid form vit D supplement she can take so we can just push it through the tube.

That's the low-down on Kendi. She's doing awesome. We are so blessed to be in a country where she can get such amazing care.

Pics

It has been such a hectic month I haven't taken many pictures. You can always tell how crazy my life is by how many or few pictures I take. =-) Tonight after some company left we all played outside for a bit. Then of course I had to pull out my camera! I am so blessed with my beautiful children. Eric bought a bike off of Craig's List recently. He went on his first ride tonight (with Taevy). Pics of daddy and daughter are so precious to me--probably because I lost my dad at 18 and I so treasure any photo I have with him and I together.

The "House"

A sweet, sweet friend that also happens to be a (post-adoptive) AAI Ghana family posted THIS BLOG POST today. I have to admit H, you had me in tears.

I've tried to keep a brave face on about the closing of Eban House. I know it was the most right thing we could do with the heap of gray choices we had. Social Welfare made it clear they didn't want adoption agencies intimately involved in the running of a children's home, large foster home, etc. (whatever name we want to put on it). I say that I want our program to run completely within the recommendations of officials in Ghana. It was much harder to actually do that when it came to Eban House. I didn't want to give Eban up.

Three years ago I was very excited to be given the opportunity to help set up AAI's Ghana program. But I was *MOST* excited to be involved in the setting up of an awesome children's home. Not only did several AAI staff invest a lot of time into setting up the infrastructure and administration of the home, but the agency spent a LOT of money to set up and maintain the home when there was absolutely NO guarantee that we would ever complete a single adoption. People don't get to see the behind-the-scenes of an agency. And sadly, lots of folks assume that the behind the scenes of an agency is focused on profit and gain. I wish that people could see ONE DAY behind the scenes of a truly good agency. Did Merrily (our director) ever put pressure on me or our Ghana staff to do a certain number of adoptions in order to recuperate all of the money invested in the home? No. Never. If anything was ever needed for Eban House, AAI found a way to make it happen. The adoption fees charged funded many of the needs of Eban House, but not even close to all of the needs. AAI met those needs. I can't tell you how much this meant to me as an employee of AAI, but also as a parent to an Eban House kid!

It wasn't just a house. It wasn't just another children's home. It was the place where my daughter blossomed into the young lady that she is. She was withering away before she came to Eban. She left Eban House a confident, spunky, HEALTHY child. Even though I've talked about the money part, what really makes a difference is the LOVE part. My daughter was loved. To Muna, and Cece, and Auntie Comfort, and Auntie Ruth, thank you. Thank you for keeping my daughter alive. Thank you for loving the hurt and sick and beaten down children who entered those gates--unconditionally. Thank you for helping them blossom.

As I move forward...as our program moves forward...I try to look at all of the good things to come. Financial sense says that we can do a lot more humanitarian aid in Ghana without the expense of running a children's home. Our adoptive families' fees will go further and do "more" good. But it's still hard to come to terms with this loss. Because it wasn't just a house. It was a home. Not just the home for those children, but in many ways it was my home in Ghana. After a hot, chaotic day I could walk into those gates, see the children's faces, and feel safe. Eban was my soft place to fall. Now it's gone.

My daughter has lost the only home she remembers in Ghana. And in some ways, I've lost my home too. I keep thinking about my down time during the upcoming trip. On the days when I don't have anything official to go, what will I do? Just hang out in my hotel room? What a waste. I've never really missed my kids too terribly in Ghana, and have always attributed that to the fact that I always got my daily allotment of kid hugs. =-) I have a feeling I will miss my kids more on this upcoming trip than I ever have before. I'm sure it will work out. I'm sure I will find a new way to "be" in Ghana. It just feels scary and sad.

Sorry for the disjointed post. Still processing....

Paga Crocs

On the to do list during my upcoming trip to Ghana: Visit the crocs in Paga! Let's take bets. How many of you think I will be doing something like this?!

This and That and the other Thing

Hey! It finally feels like things are slowing down after the recent Ghana program changes and the closure of Eban House. For the last few weeks I think I've apologized to my family a million times for "working" constantly. I am just so blessed with the families and colleagues I work with. Everybody has been super supportive and super flexible. I think so far only one family has made the decision to change programs. I expected more.

Have you ever heard of Keen shoes? I heard about them first from our HIV adoption coordinator, Erin. I'm trying to take my Plantar's Fasciitis seriously, which means my trusty 'ol crocs and slip on wal-mart sandals will not work for my upcoming trip. Thank goodness it's tax refund season! I bit the bullet and purchased a pair of Keen athletic sandals. Never have I spent so much money on a pair of shoes in my life. However, I was able to get them $40 cheaper than normal by purchasing the close-out awful green ones off of e-bay! LOL! I got them last week and am so impressed that I just gotta give a shout out on the 'ol blog. If you have heel pain and need good arch support, these are awesome. I'm going to wear these things out! Of course I will look ridiculous in them with skirts and capris, but I don't care. Comfort is king. Being able to walk is a good thing.

For the last day I have been working on uploading all of my important documents and photos onto SugarSync. This is one of those places where you can upload all of your documents to be stored online. SugarSync even saves new changes that I make on my computer onto the virtual file cabinet. This will make it all so much easier when I change from one computer to another, or when there is a crash. I think I will rest easier tonight knowing that my photos are safe!

Excitement continues to build about the upcoming trip to Ghana. One downer is the current temps. It was supposed to get 111 on Friday in Bolga! ACK! I found out a few days ago that we're probably going to go up to Paga, where you can sit on a "tame" crocodile for the obligatory tourist photo. My mom is REALLY looking forward to that (not).

I had tons of dental work done on Thursday. I hate going to the dentist, which means that when I do go, I "pay" for not going (literally and figuratively). But I should be able to chew on both sides of my mouth again. That's a plus. My body doesn't respond well to dental work, so I've been running fever from an infection since Thursday. The antibiotics are starting to help now, thankfully. I am glad to have this all taken care of now so that hopefully I won't have any surprises while I'm in Ghana.

Oh! Earlier this week I got my first "You did that?!" comment about Kendi's hair (which is shocking to me considering they were supper easy twists/coils). A black nurse said, "Oh, her hair sure does look cute!" I said thank you. She said, "Do you have someone do them?" I said, nope I did them. She said, "You did that? Girl, that's good!" I think I walked a little taller the rest of the day. =-)

We watched "The Blindside" last night for the first time. After all the build up I was afraid I'd be disappointed. But I wasn't. It was really good. I can see why it was controversial, but I was glad that the addressed the whole "rich white family helps poor black boy" even within the movie. The part where he has run off and she is worried, then he finally calls and in a scared voice says "mama?".....yeah, that's where I lost it. I looked over at Eric and he was choked up too. LOL! I love it when he showed his soft underbelly. =-)

Anita
P.S. A few people have "reminded" me this week that there are likely Ghanaian and US officials that read my blog. Umm...yep. =-) I know this for a fact. There's not a single thing here that I mind anybody reading. I write so that people will read.

UP, and DOWN! =-)

Went to the doctor for a "pre-Ghana" checkup today.

UP: My blood pressure has not only been in the normal range before. It's always been sort of low. Like...88/63 would not be abnormal pressure for me. Today my pressure was 157/102!!!! Can you speall S-T-R-E-S-S! Good grief.

DOWN: Guess what's down? My weight! Twelve pounds off the ol' haunches (14 according to my scales)! My doc was so excited for me. So encouraging. It's not like I've gone down a size or anything. It's just that my clothes aren't too tight anymore. But I'll take it. At this rate it'll take me years to get off all this weight, but every little bit helps. Maybe I can sweat some more poundage off in Ghana? That's not what usually happens because I so enjoy Ghana's oily foods!

Long Day

Left for Arkansas Children's at 5:30 this morning. Got home at about 6:00 this evening. Lots of adoptive families who need me right now, but I'm feeling pretty worn down. In fact, when I just wrote "worn down" the image in my mind's eye was an arm that is injured to the bone. A big gaping wound. I don't feel as bad as that image would suggest, but I thought it was interesting that imagine just appeared!

Continue to have fantastic experiences with Arkansas Children's Hospital. I highly recommend them to anybody who would need specialized medical care in the area.

I'm really trying to look forward to my upcoming trip to Ghana. It seems at this point that it will be a sort of vacation. I need to be refilled by the country I love. I need to hear roosters and smell fire. I even need to sweat so much that I don't pee all day! I also think I need a break from the technology, but I won't ever be able to choose it here. Ghana will choose it for me. =-)

Goodbye, dream.

My friends and I have been working hard to realize a dream for almost three years. The dream was a safe place. It was a place for healing. It was a place for opportunity. It was a place where miracles could happen. It was a place where miracles DID happen!

But tonight my friends and I are letting go of the dream. I suppose it's a lot like when you have a vison for a house remodel, but you can't get the right permits from the city to do things like you want to. We just couldn't get the right permit. We had everything we needed, except the permit. We thought about building our dream anway--forget the permits. But we didn't want to be told we could never build in the city again! So...with sadness...we let go of our dream. We submitted to the power of the tough city permit guy. We told him we were sorry for making such a fuss.

Hopefully the permit guy will feel okay about us in the future and allows us to build our dream with a different set of plans. I have a feeling it will work out that way. There are lots of ways to build a dream.

Blessed are the Peacemakers

It's been just over a week since I lost my cool and went on a huge rant about a variety of issues within adoption--adoptive parent responsibility, agency responsibility, corruption, etc.. I think that the last week has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life. I can honestly say that the ups and downs of the last week have been even more severe than the ups and downs of my own adoptions.

As I said in my post a week ago, I think there is a time to stand up and fight. I think there is a time to go on the offensive. I was ready for battle. But what I hadn't considered in my anger and frustration is that all too cliche question, "What would Jesus do?"

Over and over and over this week different things in my life have served as reminders to me that Jesus was a peacemaker. Especially during this Easter season, how could I forget how many times He had to swallow His words (his TRUTHFUL words) in order to obey the will of God and ultimately be crucified for our sins?

Yes, there was certainly a time when Jesus had righteous anger. He was human after all, and had all of the emotions that I do. He was angry when He went into the temple and saw bartering and selling of goods. Angry. And He showed His anger. And He took action! So last week at this time, honestly, I thought that my anger was "righteous" as well. I felt my anger was justified. And maybe it was. Probably it was. But that doesn't mean that the action I wanted to take was the will of God.

What would Jesus do? What would He do in my situation? Well, I think that He has whispered a reminder to me several times this week that I forgot to try to make peace before I declared war. Oops. Oh yeah, peace. Doesn't the Bible teach us that if we have a problem with someone we should go to that person and speak face to face about the problem before we go to others to complain? Oops. Sorry Lord.

I'm sorry if my post seems cryptic. I can't openly speak about everything going on. But I can speak about my feelings. I am NOT taking back anything I wrote last week. I'm not doing an about face. But I feel like, thanks to these reminders the Lord kept sending my way in the past week, I now have a deeper understanding of what needs to happen. I spoke of war. I spoke of battle. But anger doesn't have to lead to those things when it comes to issues between two people. Peacemaking efforts can also lead to resolution.

I've asked forgiveness to the Lord for my assumption that the step after my anger should be war-like action. He would try peace first. As will I.

Isaiah 53:7-10
Isaiah 33:15-16
Hebrews 4:13
Romans 12:14-16
1 Peter 5:6-7

Hair Evolution: Swirly Q's

I just can't stand that Kendi loses a few hairs every time I put bands in. She doesn't have hairs to spare! So I decided to do simple two-strand twists and over tighten them so that they curled up on themselves. Not bantu knots. Not just twists. Something in between--swirly Q's! Notice the back of her head? Slowly but surely the big bald spot is going away!

Welcome, Spring???

Yester day it was 74 degrees here. Today, THIS! I mean really?! Seriously?! It's still going on and we're supposed to get up to 12 inches (although it's melting because the ground temp is 45).

Did my children get excited? NO! Did they want to play in it? NO! We are Okies! We are DONE with snow by the time Daylight Savings rolls around. What is up?! =-)

Bright, 3 years ago

Can it really be that it was THREE years ago when I took my first solo trip to Ghana to work on Bright's adoption? Whas he REALLY that young?! Wow! What a wild three years it has been! If you need something to read before you go to bed you can check out the archives for MARCH 2007 (starting March 7th) to see who I was then, and what the trip was like. I crack up now, at some of the things I wrote back then! But one thing for sure. I loved my baby boy back then as much as I do today.

Super Kids

Seems like I don't post nearly as many photos of Samren as I do the rest of the kids. He's always off doing is own thing. But today I had to make him stop for a minute to take this pic. He was acting like the x-man Cyclops. See how tough he is?
ARGH!

I'm telling you all, Taevy's creativity is amazing to me. I don't know how she comes up with this stuff. But today she said she had a craft to do with everybody. Just needed pipe cleaners and half of a plastic Easter egg. This is what she came up with! I'm not convinced that someone hasn't done this before but she says she just came up with it in her mind. The pipe cleaners stick right through the tiny holes on the top of the egg. Voila! Rabbit!

Miss Taevy's Preschool: Dance time.

Kendi told Bright (in her Kendi language) to touch the spider.

Miss Taevy with her homeade flash cards. See the box on the floor? This is her "school box." When she wants to do preschool with the littles she brings it out. They get excited to see Taevy's school box!

Taevy going through the flash cards.

Go and Come. This is a game that the littles have been playing lately. They made it up. It cracks me up. In Ghana when you want a child to come to you it's not rude to motion your hand and say "Come." Here folks think you're talking to your kid like a dog so we don't do that! So the game is one child stands in front of the basket and says "Come." The other child runs from the other end of the room to the basket. Then switch places. Then the other child waves their hand and says "come." Over and over and over again. I know. But they are 2 and 4. I guess that's fun when you're two and four! We've decided it's like the Ghanaian version of Red Light Green Light!

It amazes me that even with the craziness of this week the kids and I have managed so many memories. This would never be possible if they were at school all day or if I was at work all day. I'm so thankful for the setup God has allowed us!

Before I sleep....

Today was a good day. It was a good day and a busy day. But it was busy in a good way!

The morning started out with a nice quiet breakfast (read--less screaming that usual).

The littles went upstairs to practice their dressing skills (read--empty their drawers and try each other's clothes on). After that, they got to practice their folding skills!

Downstairs the big ones obediently opened their school books. We're just doing the very basics right now, instead of taking spring break. I explain their math and English lessons to them and off they go. And they realy worked well today.

By 11:30 the kids had rocked through their school work, so we did preschool stuff instead. Taevy was today's' teacher, complete with her own homemade flash cards. Did you know it is important to know the shape of a T-rex? LOL! They learned about birds. Then they did dancing and games. Ending the lesson with a bit of time on www.starfall.com

Lunch: I honestly have no idea what the children ate for lunch. I remember Kendi walking by me with a half eaten cheese sandwich. Somewhere between the t-rex and learning about birds the calls started. But, I was aware enough to see that they were eating. Taevy was playing waitress to everybody as they ordered off of her menu. Can this count as some sort of social enrichment activity? You know...the kids learning to order from a menu and not throw a fit when they don't have what you want?!

Recess: Ahhh....Recess..... I hear the gentle screams of my children as they gleefully play in the backyard. Well, to me it sounds gleeful. Maybe that one certain scream was ore along the lines of torture...but no. It was glee I'm sure. Yes, I'm still talking on the phone.

1:30 rolls around and in my book that means time for little kid nap! I was off the phone for like 45 seconds (I think I was off the phone?) shouting, "It's time for littles to go to bed! Taevy, can you change her diaper? Samren, can you cuddle him in?" And then, I was back into the depths of the phone madness.

My big kids came downstairs and started doing the online portion of their school day (www.time4learning.com). They love it. So it was quiet enough for me to hear my tummy rumbling! LOL! Phone call after phone call. Sending emails DURING some phone calls. Gotta keep on top of it all, right? No. [[But the last time I wasn't in control over it all I DID lose my kids' birth certificate for two years, so, I'm just saying...]

3:00 rolled around and I got lunch. PB&J! i was so hungry at this point that I didn't even care if I returned a phone call while smacking from my sandwich. Whatever!

The day was pretty much like that until about 30 minutes before we had to leave for Eric. Chore time! So up we go! Sweep! Vacuum! pickup! Fold that load of laundry! Bright, get Kendi's panties off your heart!!!!

But you know why it still feels like a good day? Even though it's midnight now and I could work longer, it was a good day today because I didn't lax on my work. I worked hard from my families. I didn't lapse on my children. I was able to multitask enough at I could direct them to their next activity. I was able to watch the big kids enough to see if they were doing it! LOL!


Most days I'm on the phone 1-1.5 hours, spread out from 8am to 8pm. But today I was on the phone with some one or another from 11:30 to 3:00! Did you know your actual ears can hurt like they have a bruise on them--just from talking on the phone too much?

Baby On The Back

I thought THIS was such a cute post. Click on over to put a smile on your face.

There is nothing that will calm my Ghanaian children down like putting them on my back. Even Bright, at 4.5 years old, will immediately just rest his head on my back if I put him back there (not with a cloth, just by leaning forward on the couch or something). If Kendi is fussy for no reason, I can tie her in the cloth and it is like salve to a wounded soul. It's the place she feels most safe in the world.

Amazing Quote

Tonight my attention was drawn to a blog that linked to my "McDonald's" post. The blog owner wrote a pretty great post herself! Check it out HERE. She posted a great quote that I had to pass on here.

"My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him." -- Derek Loux

Note: Please don't read into the "buying back lives" part! I think we all know he's not talking about money! The cost is so much "other" than money!

Rah!

It's official. I'm done with the "blah" and onto the "rah!" No more frowns for me. I am believing for BREAKTHROUGH for several friend's adoptions right now, and celebrating with an amazing lady who just finally got the BREAKTHROUGH she's been waiting for!!!!!! Three cheers for Stephanie and Mercy Salzwedal!!!!!!!! Bring 'er home girly!

Linda, you're next! This is the week for BREAKTHROUGH with Daniel's case!

N and K--that miracle is on it's way! Believing for FRIDAY!

Anita

Something Happy

Amidst all of the "yucky" stuff going on, there is something happy to share. I'm headed to Ghana! Sometime in April. I will get to travel at the same time as two very sweet families in order to share in their court experience. Also, I will be traveling very near where Kendi was born. If time allows maybe I will get to meet her birth family or at least see her home village? I'll be taking pictures for her family, just in case.

Every trip to Ghana carries with it such mixed emotions. I miss my friends there. I miss the smells and the sites and the FOOD! LOL! I don't miss the heat (and April is the hottest month of the year), but if you're going to Ghana you've gotta experience the heat.

We're in such a different place with our family dynamic than we were a year ago. Our whole married lives Eric's mother and father have been our backup caregivers. When I travel to Ghana, they have always stepped in to help with childcare and transportation. But now they are caring for Eric's grandparent's full time. No more grandma/grandpa help is available for childcare (but they will still be able to help with transportation). What to do with four rowdy Gillispies? I honestly didn't know. Not many folks who will take four kids for two weeks, two of which will still need to do their homework, one of which will poop his pants if you aren't careful, and one of which who is positive and needs meds through the g-tube. Not many folks. But my friend Linda? She says bring it on! What's four more?! ;-) Praise God, unless Linda is in Liberia picking up her sweet baby Daniel, my kids have a safe, fun, and familiar place to go. Before talking to Linda I was seriously looking at Craig's List--we are that desperate. Thank you "Aunt Linda."

Before the need came up for me to be in Ghana in April I was thinking about going in August. In my mind, by August, I would have lost plenty of weight and would enjoy the "cooler" August Ghana whether. Oh well. You take Ghana when you can get her!

Exactly What I Need

It never ceases to amaze me that the Lord gives me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it.

We've been visiting a church lately that's very different from our previous church. It's big, and established, and very white. White is okay, as long as we are mostly a group of same-minded people. Do they see my family walk in the door and think, "What a nice looking family." or do they see my family walk into the door and think, "That family has two black kids!" or do they see my family walk into the door and think, "There's an adoptive family. That will look good in our brochures." I just want them to see a nice looking family. The longer we visit the church, the more comfortable I am that they see us the way Jesus would see us.

It's no secret from the tone of my blog lately that there has been lots of behind the scenes adoption stuff to endure in the past week. Last night I hit my breaking point (which resulted in my last blog post). Today I woke up ready to go to battle for international adoption, but internally still very scared. Who am I? What power do I have? What can I do to make a difference? How far am I willing to go? All of these questions were going through my head as I absentmindedly dressed for church.

Then, of all days, the pastor today was a visiting pastor from Ghana. Wow! Did I ever need some "Ghana church" today! I needed that yelling, excited, clap for Jesus sort of sermon today. I needed to hear Pastor Oddai ask how far we were REALLY willing to go to stand up for our beliefs. I needed to hear his accent and see his clothing and breathe in just a bit of Ghana. Because I was reminded of why I would put it all on the line. Yes, for my Christ. But also for a country I love. I love Ghana too much to see only corruption. I never want to see "her" like that. Pastor Oddai reminded me of my love for Ghana. And he reminded me that *I* don't have to do anything. I am just a vessel. Just a weak imperfect vessel. The Lord just needs me to be willing to be used. I can do that. I can put on my full armor of God and simply be open to His leading.

Anita

No more McDonald's for me.

No more McDonald's for me. I'm fed up now. I wrote in jest the other night that a job at McDonald's sounds pretty good on an emotional day at my "work." But you know what sounds better? Ethical adoptions sound better. Ethical adoptive parents. Ethical adoption agency workers. Ethical government workers. That would be better.

This week Ethiopia announced its intention that adoptive parents will have to appear in court, rather than the adoptions being done by proxy. I have no idea if this will stand. And I really truly do understand adoptive parents being extremely disappointed if this change stands. I understand that it could cause some families not to be able to choose Ethiopia as an adoption choice. But let us not forget that it is WE that have been given the PRIVILEGE to adopt Ethiopia's children. This is not a right! If Ethiopia wants to require parents to travel to court, then so be it. It's up to parents who want to be given the privilege to adopt to figure out how to make it work. And parents will. They will toughen up. And they will do what it takes. Because what most foreign officials don't seem to get is that American adoptive families truly LOVE these children who are only known to us by their names and photographs. We will stand by them.

This week I have become more and more disheartened with corruption by government officials. Yes, I'm speaking to you, government official. Pick a country. Why do you feel the need to profit off of an orphaned child's terrible circumstances? Why do you think there is such a "piece of the pie" you are missing out on? Can you not accept that American agencies aren't profiting from helping families adopt? We are NON-PROFIT! I am willing to bet that you make more of a salary as a government official than I do here in America, as an adoption coordinator. Yes, the fees are large that American families pay. But it takes a lot of money to simply run the agency. It takes money to provide humanitarian aide to the vulnerable in the country of adoption. It takes money to put food in the children's mouths, and to provide them with more than the basics of life. Just ask for an accounting. It all adds up. I am tired of being quiet about this. There are some people that say the Americans are coming to "buy" your children. But from my point of view the majority of people I see who are trying to profit off of these children are people within your own country. If the government officials greed continues to spread like a black disease throughout your country, people will take a stand. You may find some horrid American families who are willing to buy children from you, but most of us are working towards ethical adoptions and will not continue to stand for your behavior. There are people within your own country committed to ethical adoptions as well. And I believe in the US Embassy personnel. I believe they will know the truth, and will suck you out of the greedy corner you hide in. They will learn who is acting ethically and who is not. When they do, I will celebrate.

And adoption agencies! Yes! WHY would any agency feel the need to lie to their clients? I JUST DON'T GET IT! How can a lie be better than the truth? So yeah. Maybe the truth sucks. But families are strong. They can take it. And guess what? If you never lie you never have to worry about being sued (or at least not in a way where you would be found liable). Novel idea, right? I know that parents can be downright rude. I know that they can feel entitled when they aren't. But we're their lifeline. They are putting a huge part of their hearts in our hands. It's such a fragile thing. If we lie to them even one tiny time, that trust is ruined from then on. We can't be perfect. We're going to make mistakes. There are going to be things that we honestly don't know about. But if we're honest with the tough stuff maybe--just maybe--our families will believe us when there really is something we didn't know about! And oh, we have such a responsibility to these families. How can agencies (and orphanages) choose to play the game of corrupt government officials? WHY?! Pick up your ball and move to a new spot. You don't have to play there. Find a spot where you can play by the rules. It might be harder. It might be more expensive. It might take more time. But that is why these families put their trust in us.

This week I have become more convinced than ever that adoptive parents MUST stand up for their right to an ethical adoption. We must stand together on this! We must be brave! We adoptive parents have created our own monsters. There have been those of us who have defected, and made it true that some children in this world have been stolen or bought for a price. How can we blame foreign governments who think Americans want to "buy babies" when in fact, there have been a few who have done that horrid thing? Nobody would be able to "sell" a child if there were nobody to "buy" the child. SHAME ON YOU! Take a stand for what is right. Get out of your selfish shell for a moment and look at the chaos you have created within international adoption. Ten years ago there were many countries to adopt from. These countries trusted our intentions as pure. But people have proven to the world that there are those in our numbers who would defect away from those pure intentions in order to do whatever would gain them the "quickest, easiest, cheapest, youngest" adoption possible.

At the heart of it, I do believe all international adoptions are a fight of good vs. evil. Put it in whatever "shape" you want--God vs. satan; karma; chi. There is some force that only wants adoptions to go forward if greed is involved. There is some force that would rather children literally rot than be united with loving families. There is some force that dances with joy with each new rumor of baby buying.

I'm in the mood to fight. I'm in the mood to fight for these children and these families and these government officials who ARE working for good.

During these "I wish I worked at McDonald's" days, I've had to given several families very tough to take information. But did they falter? NO! Did they even hesitate? NO! These families are my heroes. They just took it; accepted it; and said, "What's next?" They are ready to FIGHT for their children. And by God, I'm ready to stand next to them. It's sad that international adoption has to be, in many ways, such a war. But it is. On which side will you stand?

I have been the spoiled adoptive parent. I am the confliced and imperfect agency employee. I have been someone who gave in to the greed of a government official (NO NOT GHANA). But I am also someone who is ready to fight for the survival of international adoption. When I was a child I understood as a child, but when I became grown I put away childish understanding! (Ref: 1 Cor 13:11)

Welcome to adoption. How can I help you? How can you help you?